Chapter 41: 31-2

"Im Jaewook, why haven't you told me?" No wonder he looks more drained than usual. "I was worried I'd get fired quickly, so I didn't want to tell you unless it was certain," he nibbles his lip after out of embarrassment. "Of course you wouldn't get fired, you're the hardest worker I know—aside from myself of course." He begins to put on his shoes. "Sorry, I have to get going. It was nice meeting you." "Oh—okay," my father says as he emerges from the kitchenette. "Bye baby," I softly say as he opens the door. "Bye Noona," he smiles before leaving down the corridor. I close the door with a sigh and head to the couch area. "So, Jaewook huh?" My father sits down with a deep sigh. "Yep." "He's a lot better than that last dweeb, what was his name again? Dong whatever." He purposely pronounces the name as "똥 [feces]," something he always did when I was dating him. I roll my eyes at him. "What? That guy was not at all attractive first of all—this new guy is a big improvement. Plus he had a lazy eye, spirits please forgive me, but it always made me feel weird to look at him—" "Okay stop," I laugh as he starts going off on a tangent. "He was a wuss too, wouldn't even take my offer to go bungee jumping together." He shakes his head like it's the most absurd thing he's heard. "Sorry to say but not many people would accept that offer dad." "Hmm," is all he says as he nods and looks off into the distance. "I swear I've seen him though..." "Who?" "Jaewook." My mind scrambles, wondering if he ever appeared when I FaceTimed my dad before. "You said he lives next to you guys?" "Yeah." "Hm, that doesn't seem like the kind of building to hold a family." "Oh his place is much bigger, it's two apartments in one. Really nice actually." "Oh? Why?" "His father is the landlord." I have to bite back the bitterness that comes from saying those words; simple words that hold so much more behind them. "Ah!" My father snaps his fingers. "That's it, he looks a lot like him." My dad has a tendency of talking to himself while conversing with people. He'll think through things in his head but not verbalize them while having a conversation, which makes the other people feel lost at times. "What?" "Oh, the landlord. I met him those years ago to sign the rental contract. Jaewook looks like a replica of him." My father's incredible photographic memory strikes again. "Strange guy, had a dark aura around him, like his life was hard or something." "What do you mean?" I usually don't care when my dad goes off on his aura and vibe nonsense, but his description of Jaewook's father has me uneasy. "He didn't say much, didn't engage in friendly conversation when I tried. Very much a businessman, married to his job kinda guy, I got that impression. Seemed—I don't know, there was something else. Seemed really tired or something. Maybe sad?" My dad nonchalantly shrugs his shoulders, having no idea that he's talking about a man that hurts his son. "You okay?" He asks as he finally looks at me. He's always quick to sense my change in emotions though. He's weird like that. He can sense someone's demeanour so easily, like second nature. Maybe it's all that meditation. "I'm fine." I look down at my hands for a moment. "Dad? What do you do when you really want something, so much, but there's something you can't control that's threatening you from having it?" He takes a deep breath and lets the air leave his nose. "Well, if you can't control it there's not much you can do until you change your thinking." "Hmm?" "The problem is the mind Des. It's our own consciousness that holds us back the most. I'm sure there's a way to get whatever that is, as long as it's legal," he raises an eyebrow at me. "Work on changing your mindset and then maybe you'll find a way." I don't know if it's that easy dad. "By the way, Jaewook doesn't drink? I was taken aback when he refused my drink. I may live in Japan now but that's still a thing here right? Accepting drinks from those older than you?" As he goes off on another tangent, I begin to wonder. Why doesn't he drink? This is Korea after all, a country notorious for alcohol consumption where employees are forced to accept drinks from their seniors. Is it because of his father? "Maybe he has celiac disease, that must be it." My father comes to his own conclusion before finishing his can of beer. "I'm going to go home and study now," I say as I get up. "Okay, remind Zen that tomorrow's his date with Ben." "I will." My shoes are on and I've taken my bag. My father stands in front of me with hands in his jean pockets. "Sweetie, believe in yourself, okay? You've always been such a confident, self-assured girl. I don't like seeing you curl into yourself. Even hearing you ask for advice like that gave me chills," he chuckles. I smile back, but his words have cut me quite deep. I know he knows somethings up, but he has no idea exactly what it is. "Bye dad," I say before closing the door and heading home at a brisk pace.