Chapter 19

I sit up in my bed with a startled jerk as my heart jumps into an accelerated state. I tend to be a light sleeper, and the opening of my door woke me from an intense dream. "Who's there?" I ask, all of a sudden very nervous about the shadowed figure in my doorway. "It's me," a familiar voice says. He sounds different, and from the soft sniffling sounds, it appears he is crying. "Jaewook?" He walks over to me, his dark figure slowly gaining muted colour as my eyes adjust. "What did I tell you about making it a habit of coming over?" My heart is still beating incredibly fast as I worry about his intentions. I don't have time to be embarrassed by my physical state—silk hair wrap, character pyjamas and all—before he fills me with worry instead. "Noona," his voice cracks as he sits on the edge of the bed. His body shakes from crying. Protective instincts now overtake my defensive state as I push the covers away and sit beside him. "I had to leave, but I didn't know where to go." His head is hanging down, so I softly hold onto it to look at his face. When I do, a gasp leaves my mouth in shock. Even in the dark I can see the purple marks and red gashes of blood littered all over his face. "Baby—" the word leaves my mouth without thinking. "I know what I want to do now, what I want to do after school." His voice gains some strength as his jaw trembles in anger. "I want to become a police officer so I can put sick bastards in jail." His hateful tone makes my worry jump tenfold. Frantic and unsure of what to do or say first, I grab his hand and walk out the door. He has a slight limp in his step, and the sight makes me want to cry—and I don't cry very easily. I lead him to the bathroom and gently get him to sit on the closed toilet seat. Being a wannabe doctor, I have a deluxe first aid kit, filled with things you typically don't find in stores. "That's massive," he sniffles as I struggle to pull the thing up on the counter. I open it and first take an antiseptic wipe. I move in front of him, getting on my knees. I eye his face and all of the small cuts. His eyes are red and puffy, his nose is slightly dripping. I can feel my heart tear with every passing second that I look at him. "It's going to hurt," I softly say to him. "Not any more than this did," he mumbles in return. I begin cleaning up the cuts on his face. "Luckily they aren't deep so I don't need to give you stitches." "You can do that?" "Of course I can, it's one of the first things we learn in our practical classes." His boyish wonder never fails to make its way through any situation, but the sparkle soon disappears from his eyes again. Once all of the blood is gone from his face, the purple of bruises stand out even more. I head to the kitchen and take out an ice pack from the freezer. I tell him to hold it against his face as I test out his leg. I slowly move it, extending it out. His face scrunches in pain. I then feel around the bones of his shin and knee to see if there are any abnormalities. I find a bump—it's likely an inflamed bone contusion, a bruise. When I lift up the leg of his sweatpants, I'm met with a ghastly bruise just as I expected. "You need to ice right here too. It isn't broken, just a bruised bone." "Okay." I dread the answer to my next question. "Did this happen at home?" He watches me for a bit, his face reminding me of a little boy and not one of a man. He slowly nods, and my heart finally falls apart. I close my eyes and sigh in helplessness. I had a feeling I knew what was going on. He can't go back home tonight. "Come with me," I grab his hand again. He slowly follows me back to my room. "Sleep here tonight, you can't go back there." He nods solemnly and carefully slides into the bed. I go back to the kitchen to fetch a glass of water and I make him drink it. His lips are too dry for my liking. I'm about to leave the room again when he calls out to me. "Noona, where are you going?" "The couch." He quickly gets out of bed and comes over to me. "No, this is your bed. Stay. I've caused you enough trouble." Stop breaking my heart. "No, you need it more than I do." His arms wrap around me as his head hangs over my shoulder. "Then stay with me." I sigh in defeat against him. Then something I really wish wouldn't happen happens. My body begins to shake as I cry. "Noona," Jaewook pulls me back. I push myself back against him. "No, don't look at me." "What's wrong?" "What's wrong?" I look up at him, "What do you mean what's wrong? I'm so god damn worried about you, it's killing me. I'm realizing just how much I care about you," my words come out feverishly. He holds onto my face. "Don't worry about me." I huff out a sarcastic laugh and pull him to the bed again. "Stay here, I'm serious," I lecture between my sobs. "And you come here, I'm serious." His hand reaches out for me, waiting patiently. I can't say no. I reluctantly grab his hand and move into the space beside him. "I can't believe I'm sleeping with you so early in the relationship," I mutter. This elicits a laugh from him, and I can't even express just how happy I am to hear it. He adjusts his body so that his head lays on the pillow. I do the same and face him. His fingers softly brush away my remaining tears, then he leans in and very delicately presses his lips on my closed eyes, one at a time. "Go to sleep," he says to me. And it becomes very clear to me now, what I am to him. He finds comfort in me, he finds strength in taking care of me when I don't need to be taken care of. And perhaps this is because he hasn't had anyone to take care of him, until now. I'll make sure to always watch over him from now on. The look in his eyes makes it impossible for me to not feel moved by him. It's a gaze that speaks without words, a gaze that lets me know that he doesn't just have a silly school boy crush on me, not at all. He loves me. And despite the fact that I know I'm not nearly there yet, my overwhelming desire to protect him outnumbers any other feelings. So I let him hold onto me as we sleep because I know that he'll feel better if he feels like he's the one protecting me.