Chapter 12: 10-1

My fingers touch my lips as my mind ruthlessly flashes back to what happened. When his lips touched mine, they were not hesitant like the first time. It was not naive and awkward. Instead it was powerful. He didn't even waste time—his lips moved over my own so rhythmically that I couldn't stop myself from mimicking him. I got so carried away that I didn't even stop his tongue from moving into my mouth, despite my head raising so many questions. How does he know how to give tongue now? Did he take kissing classes in the past two weeks? Is he just a quick learner? Despite these questions that contradicted the boy I knew and the man that was kissing me, I continued to let him take control. So much so that his hands gripped my waist and hoisted me onto his lap. Thinking about it now makes me slap my cheeks roughly. What the hell? What was that? He even bit my lower lip when I parted from his mouth to gasp for air. It was so spellbinding, so addicting and engulfing. I was under some sort of bewitchment as he continued to move his mouth over mine and run his hands along my body. While I wished it was a false hallucination, I have a recollection of moaning into his mouth. Moaning, as if I was turned on. I scream out and kick my legs frantically, hoping to God that he isn't in his room listening to me lose my mind. "WHERE IS IT?!" My brother kicks open the door, shirtless and with a fire extinguisher in his arms. He looks around my room frantically. "What the hell are you doing!?" I ask as I sit up on my bed. "There's no danger?" He asks. I shake my head at him. "Why the bloody hell were you screaming?!" He shouts at me, his head shaking in outrage. "I don't know, why the bloody hell are you screaming?!" I yell back. We stare each other down for a moment, our chests heaving in aggravated passion, before he casually leaves my room. I can't sleep. The whole night, I lay in my bed trying to figure out which version of Jaewook is real. Maybe both are? I shake my body in annoyance, trying to take these thoughts away. But they just return when I begin to hear a song play softly. I can't make it out, but when I place my ear against the wall it's much clearer. Whenever I heard indecipherable sounds before, I just assumed it was my brother and didn't think much about it. But now that I know that Jaewook is right there, my ears can't help but search for any sounds. What is he doing listening to music at 3AM? There's something about the song, it's soft melody and vocals, that causes my eyes to close. Or maybe it's knowing that he's awake just on the other side of this wall that drifts me into comfort. Whatever it is, I end up finally falling asleep with my ear against the wall. . . . I wake up, and of course, the memory of Jaewook kissing me—or rather making out with me—quickly attacks my mind. "Can I not have one moment where I'm thinking about something else? Like what should I eat for breakfast, I should get started on studying for my tests, maybe I should get groceries—" I walk outside of my room to the kitchen. "Even something unimportant and trivial like I wonder how my lovely brother is doing today." "Are you okay?" My brother asks me. "You're talking to yourself. Did you get a 97% percent on something again?" He teases me as he pretends to weep. "Shut it." I need to go to the gym. Despite my muscles hurting like a son of a gun, I need to go. Working out is my escape from myself, which I tend to need a lot. The morning walk to the gym ends up being pleasant. The summer morning air is crisp and mild, the sun is shining brightly and the wind is making the leaves of trees rattle soothingly. I'm able to take deep, wholesome breaths, and I actually already feel better once I get inside the gym. Since I worked out hard yesterday, I decide to take it easy today. I get to a treadmill and take a brisk walk. A smile ends up on my face after my warm up—music fixes a lot of things. My stupid smile stays on my face as I greet a few familiar faces, however it falls as I do a double take. Someone is walking towards the treadmill next to me. Someone in a bright yellow workout shirt and black shorts. Someone with dark hair, round eyes, and tempting lips. What the hell is he doing at the university gym? I lose my balance on the treadmill and hastily try to regain my composure. I look around to make sure no one noticed, ignoring the spot beside me because there's no doubt he saw me. In fact, I think I hear him laughing. God what did I do to deserve this? Was it the receipt that left my hands the other day with the wind, when I couldn't be bothered to reduce my carbon footprint and chase after it? Was it that one time I was too lazy to feed Podo, even though that cat is over fed anyway? Is it because I overfeed Podo? Is it because I was rude to Jaewook in the years prior to getting to know him? WHAT IS IT TELL ME?! I force myself to stop looking at the ceiling like an idiot. "Noona." Dang it. I try to pretend I don't hear him, I lightly move my head to my music to try and disguise myself, despite it being turned down so low that I have no idea what's playing. I think I'm doing a good job until a hand touches my bare arm. My body jerks from the touch so much that I drop my phone. It moves on the treadmill and falls onto the floor. There are so many swear words that I wish I could use for this moment. I press the emergency stop button on the machine and clench my eyes shut as Jaewook picks up my phone. He hands it to me, an amused expression on his terribly sweet face. "Jaewook," I say as if I'm only seeing him for the first time now. "Noona," he smirks knowingly. "Uh," Why am I so flustered? I'm never the one that's flustered. "Wh-what are you doing here?" Idiot. His smile turns into a laugh. "Working out?" "Right..." I look away, embarrassment making me want to die. "Well, have a good workout," he says. "You too." I want to die. He heads back onto the treadmill and I do the same. But now I feel way too self-aware. Working out in front of someone you just made out with the day prior exceeds the levels of awkwardness that I am familiar with. My limbs seem to not work anymore as I try to walk normally on the treadmill. I try to straighten my posture but it just feels strange, and my legs, why aren't they functioning properly? The fact that I'm wearing tight workout clothes doesn't help the situation. I mean, the shape of my butt is so obvious in these shorts, I can't help but remember when he stared at me naively long ago. That little chap. It was all an act, wasn't it? A new wave of anger washes over me. This little player thinks he can trick me? He thinks he can wrap me around his long, much too attractive finger? I start my run on the treadmill, new found determination on my face as I run off my feelings. Eventually, I notice the bright yellow speck on the corner of my eye disappears. Then it reappears in the near distance in front of the treadmills, falling onto the floor.