Chapter 15
I set Amy's grilled cheese on the table and slid into the seat across from her. She picked up the sandwich with both hands, taking careful bites, her legs swinging beneath the chair.
I watched her chew, and my mind drifted back to this morning at the dealership.
"Amy," I said. "At the car place this morning... how did you come up with that story? About your uncle's divorce and your grandma being sick?"
She looked up at me, her green eyes steady. Then she scrunched her nose and stuck out her lower lip. "Because they were mean to you."
I reached across the table and touched her cheek. "You noticed all that?"
She tilted her head up, pride flickering across her face. "Of course I did! I'm the smartest person in the whole world, Mama. You can depend on me from now on."
I smiled, but the ache in my chest tightened. "We're all each other has, baby. We only have each other."
Amy shook her head, her curls bouncing. "No, Mama. That's not true. I can depend on myself too. I don't need daycare. I can stay home by myself. I can even help with chores."
I froze. "Amy—"
"I don't want to go anymore," she said quietly. "I can take care of myself."
I exhaled slowly. "People need time alone, but they also need to be around other people. You can't just lock yourself away."
"I'm not locking myself away," she argued. "I just don't want to go to daycare. I don't need it."
I studied her face—serious, stubborn. "Let me think about it."
---
The next day, I invited Chloe over for lunch. She showed up with a box of cupcakes from that bakery on Newbury Street and her usual grin, teasing Amy about her new drawing skills while we ate pasta at the kitchen table.
After lunch, Amy settled at the coffee table in the living room with her colored pencils and paper, while Chloe and I cleaned up in the kitchen.
I scrubbed a plate under the faucet, keeping my voice low. "Amy doesn't want to go to daycare anymore."
Chloe stopped drying the dish in her hands. "Then don't make her go. If she's miserable, what's the point?"
"She's four, Chloe. I can't just leave her alone all day."
Chloe set the dish on the counter and leaned against it, thinking. "What if you bring her to my place? I'm not working right now anyway."
I shook my head. "You're job hunting. I can't keep asking you for favors."
She tapped her fingers on the counter. "Okay... what about your mom? Could she come stay with you for a while?"
I thought about my mother's cold stare the last time I'd asked her for help. The way she'd looked at Amy like she was an inconvenience. "No. She doesn't like Amy. And Amy doesn't like being around her."
"Damn." Chloe frowned. "So what are you going to do?"
I rinsed another plate. "Amy said she can handle being alone. I'm thinking about it, but I'm still worried."
Chloe was quiet for a moment, then snapped her fingers. "What about cameras? You know, those nanny cams people use? You could set them up around the apartment and check on her from your phone. At least you'd know she's safe."
I paused, considering it. "That... might work."
"Amy's really independent," Chloe added. "Maybe let her try it. Start small—one or two days a week."
I turned off the faucet and dried my hands. "Okay. I'll try it."
---
That night, after Chloe left, I grabbed my keys. "Come on, Amy. We're going to Target."
Twenty minutes later, we were in the electronics aisle. I grabbed five cameras—living room, kitchen, bedrooms, front door.
Back home, I spent an hour setting them up. The app synced to my phone. Five feeds, one screen. I could see every corner of the apartment.
By Monday morning, I was a nervous wreck.
I crouched in front of Amy, gripping her shoulders. "Listen to me. If someone knocks on the door, you do not open it. I don't care who it is. Understand?"
Amy nodded. "Yes, Mama."
"Don't climb on anything. Don't touch the electrical outlets. If you need anything—anything—you call me. Okay?"
"Okay."
"I'm serious, Amy."
She smiled up at me. "I know, Mama. Don't worry. You're going to be late for work if you keep talking."
I glanced at my watch. Shit. She was right.
I stood up, still scanning the apartment one more time. The windows were locked. The stove knobs were off. The bathroom door was propped open so she wouldn't get locked in.
"Mama, go!" Amy gave me a little push toward the door.
I kissed the top of her head. "I love you."
"Love you too!"
I grabbed my bag and forced myself to walk out.
---
The entire drive to the office, my hands were clammy on the steering wheel. I kept glancing at my phone in the cupholder, resisting the urge to pull over and check the camera feed.
When I finally parked in the underground garage and headed toward the elevator, I pulled out my phone.
The app loaded. The living room feed appeared on the screen.
Amy was sitting on my yoga mat in the middle of the floor, legs stretched out in front of her, leaning forward in a perfect seated forward fold.
I almost laughed.
"Morning."
I looked up. Julian was standing a few feet away, dressed in a charcoal suit.
"Morning," I said quickly, tucking my phone against my chest.
He raised an eyebrow as we stepped into the elevator together. "You just buy a car?"
I nodded. "Yeah. Makes picking up Amy way easier."
"Good." He leaned back against the wall, arms crossed. "Daycare pickup times are brutal."
"Tell me about it."
The elevator doors closed. I couldn't help myself—I glanced down at my phone again.
Amy had switched positions. Now she was in downward dog, her little butt in the air, her face scrunched in concentration.
Julian leaned over my shoulder. "Damn. She's flexible."
I smiled despite myself. "Yeah. She watches me do yoga sometimes."
He kept watching the feed, something soft crossing his face. "You seem to really like kids. You could have one yourself, you know."
Julian's gaze shifted from the phone to me. He held my eyes, his voice dropping slightly. "With who?"
The air in the elevator suddenly felt warmer. I cleared my throat, forcing a light laugh. "I mean... you know. By yourself."
His eyebrow lifted. "Maya, I'm a man. Can't exactly do that alone."
"Well, maybe you should expand your business operations. Work on making that possible. Think of the market—so many men who want kids."
He actually laughed at that. "You know what? Not a bad idea. I'll look into it."
The elevator dinged.
I slipped my phone into my bag and stepped out quickly. "I need to get to work."