Chapter 34

“I’m sorry about before, Dad. It wasn’t fair of me to act like that at the hospital. I’m just scared. I have no idea what will happen. I hate being in the dark. I don’t want anything to happen to me. It seems like I finally have a chance at life and now it’s not up to me if I live or die. I just want you guys with me if anything were to happen.” I felt him squeeze me even tighter.

“You’re not going anywhere. I will make sure of it. I just got you back, you’re not leaving me. You can control if you live or die. You have to fight Bri. You have to fight with all of your might and never stop. This is your life now, and you’re gonna live till you are a million years old.” I chuckled with tears in my eyes. “I’m sorry that you’re in the dark but we all are. We all are in this with you. We love you more than life and don’t you apologize about the hospital conversation. You had every right to feel like that. You are so brave. If I could take this away, I would. I love you Bri.” I just stuffed my head into his chest and let a few tears escape.

“I-I-I love you too.” I felt his smile before I saw it. He kissed my head and made me look at him.

“You make me so happy to be your father.” I smiled at him.

“I’m glad you’re my father also.” I didn’t realize Grayson left so when Dad helped me stand I looked confused.

“Let’s get you to brush your teeth and then downstairs. Do you think you could sit at the table or will it upset you?”

“I can sit at the table.” He smiled and led me over to his sink. I looked in the mirror and almost screamed. I look like a mess. A flush face with dark circles looked back at me. There was stuff around my mouth and on my cheek. Worst of all, my hair was a rat’s nest. “Holy cow!” Dad chuckled and went into his drawer and pulled out an unused toothbrush and toothpaste. He waited while I brushed my teeth to make sure I was okay. Once I was done, I threw the toothbrush out but gave the toothpaste back. I turned towards him and gave him a smile. “Can I use your brush?” His face fell a little but he covered it up.

“Um… sure Honey.” He gave me his brush with some hesitation and stared at me. I gave him a confused look but looked in the mirror so I could brush my hair. With the first stroke of the brush, a chunk of my hair came out. I gasped and looked at the brush. I felt Dad wrap his arms around me. I looked at him through the mirror with tears in my eyes.

“It’s happening,” I said slowly. He just nodded and squeezed me harder. I pulled the hair out of the brush and felt my knees go weak.

“Oh, Darling. Let’s sit down. He guided me to a stool right in front of his mirror. “Do you want me to do it?” I just stared at him and nodded. I felt him take the brush from my hands and look at me. I nodded to him that it was alright. He nodded back and started to brush through the hair gently. Clump after clump fell out. After he was done, I was left with patchy thin spots of hair. Barely anything was left. I just stared at myself in shock. I knew this was going to happen but I didn’t want it to. The tears flowed down my face faster than I could stop them.

“D-D-Do you have a-a-a shaver?” I asked quietly. Tears were in his eyes as he nodded. He knew what I wanted. He wordlessly went into his drawer and pulled out an electric shaver. He came over to me and looked at me.

“You’re so brave Baby Girl.” I just nodded and waited. Before he started, he looked at me again. “Do you want the boys in here while I do this?” I shook my head and wiped my tears.

“I don’t want them to see me like this.” He squeezed my shoulder. He turned on the razor and started to shave the rest of the hair off. It didn’t take long because most of it was out. He turned off the razor and I knew I had to look in the mirror. I looked up and couldn’t hold in my tears anymore. “No! No! No! Why?” I sobbed into my hands. Dad quickly put down the razor and sat next to me and pulled me into his arms. “I-I-I look sick! I l-l-look weak. I don’t look like m-m-me.” He turned me in his arms so he could wipe my tears.

“I’m so sorry Love. I’m so sorry. You are truly beautiful though. You are such a pretty and amazing person. I love you so much. You’re going to get through this.” I gave him a small smile but the tears still remained. “Do you want to wear something when we see the boys?” I just shook my head and stood up. I didn’t even look at myself again. I just walked out and waited for Dad. He soon walked out and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. We both walked downstairs and into the dining room. Once we entered, everyone stopped what they were doing and gasped. Ethan stood up right away and pulled me into his arms. My tears started again and I sobbed.

“Bri, you look so pretty. You’re so brave. I love you so much.” The others boys just watched, too shocked to do anything.

“No, I don’t. I looked ugly and weak. I’m not Bri anymore. I’m just sick. I hate myself.” As soon as I started to yell the last part, the boys snapped out of it and came over. I was pulled out of Ethan’s arms and into Elli’s.

“Brianna Black, you do not look ugly. You look absolutely pretty. You are still Bri and always will be Bri. Your hair does not define you.” Ethan said while holding my face in his hands. I just shook my head and buried my head into Elli’s chest. John and Jake rubbed my back, while Brandon and Trevor stood next to me, whispering comforting words. Grayson stood in front of me, wiping my tears. I didn’t realize Ethan left until he came back in. Everyone gasped again at the sight of him. Ethan shaved his head. “See Bri, hair does not define you. Do I look ugly now?” I shook my head with a small smile. He gave me one back and pulled me back into his arms. “See? You’re not ugly either. You’re so brave.”

“Thank you.” I croaked out.

“Anything for you baby sis.” He kissed my head, leaving a small smile on my face. Everyone had some tears in their eyes but they were all smiling.

“Let’s eat,” I said to them and they all started to chuckle. “What? I can’t handle you guys staring at me.” They all laughed again and slowly made their way toward their seats. Once everyone was sitting at the table, they all looked at me. I felt a lot better after the shot so I decided to try and get back some nutrients in my body. I grabbed a few apple slices and a piece of toast. The boys didn’t give me any looks for my small choice which was nice. Breakfast came and went and I actually finished my food. After eating, the boys and I decided to watch a movie since I was drained. We dragged pillows and blankets into the movie room and made it very comfortable. Everyone was snuggled up against each other and it was a big love fest. We decided to watch Step Brothers because it was a funny movie. I couldn’t focus on the movie though. All I could think about was what happened last night. Not me almost dying but what the boys said. What were they talking about? What did Liam do? Where is Liam? I was broken out of my thoughts when Brandon elbowed me.

“Are you okay?” I shook my head and grabbed the remote and paused the movie.

“What’s wrong? John asked while sitting up.

“What were you guys talking about last night? You were talking about Liam.” They all tensed and their faces hardened. All of the boys looked toward Papa and he sighed.

“What did you hear exactly.”

“I heard “I can’t believe that low life scum tried to hurt Bri” and “I can’t believe we let him in all these years to find out he was a rat” and “out of all people, Liam had to be the one to do this, her fucking best friend.” That’s all.” Papa sighed and looked conflicted. They all looked mad though.

“Jake, turn on the lights,” Elli said to him which he did right away. Once the lights were on, everyone sat around Papa and me.

“Okay, Bri. What we are about to tell you is very important. It is very sensitive information. I need you to let me finish everything before you say anything.” I just nodded at Papa’s words and waited for him to continue. He sighed and looked at everyone and then at me. “Liam was a snake, a spy, a trader. He was sent by an enemy many years ago to get close to you. You know that you guys were best friends and separated. They made this long plan to get to you, get him to trust you, and then hurt you. That attack on us a few weeks ago was from Liam and the other gang but we didn’t know it yet.” I felt my heartbreak even more. Papa was about to continue but I interrupted him.

“Please no more. I can’t take anymore today.” They all just nodded and gave me sad looks. Jake turned the lights off again and we all moved to the floor to cuddle each other. They continued the movie and started to relax again. All of the events from last night and today we’re catching up fast. Sleep was catching up to me. However, for the first time in a while, I fell asleep not feeling sick or sad. I fell asleep feeling overwhelming love and family.