Chapter 49: Their Cursed

Cullen

How had I never considered once that she may not want to get pregnant? She was raised in the Ordinary Realm with different customs and culture than we were. Humans frown upon women having children at a young age before marriage. Wolves don’t generally have marriage ceremonies as we have the mating ritual. Both mates being marked is customarily enough for us. But Remi was raised as if she were human. She probably feels differently than we do. We have recklessly given in to our own desires without even considering the consequences for her.

I let the hot water cascade over me, ignoring its heat on my skin. I was so lost in thought that I didn’t hear the bathroom door open. The shower door opened, and her apple scent hit my nose as she stepped in. I lifted my head and looked at her. Her eyes were glassy as she came closer to me. I stood up fully. Calder must have told her. She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around my waist and laid her head on my chest. I wrapped an arm around her back and cradled her head to me.

“I’m sorry, love,” I linked her.

“Don’t be,” she linked back. We stood like that for a few minutes, the water soaking her long hair. “I don’t regret mating, Cullen.”

A small weight was lifted off my shoulders at her words, but I still felt upset with myself. “We were thoughtless. We should have considered the fact that things are different in the Ordinary Realm and you would not have the same attitude as us,” I told her. She was quiet in my arms. She was struggling with something as well.

“Remi, I want lots of pups. I want as many as you will give us. But I don’t want them if you do not. I would never force that on you,” I told her. She squeezed me tighter.

“It’s not that…” she replied. She didn’t explain further.

“We don’t have to… anymore if you don’t want to…” I told her. She sighed and pulled away to look up at me. Her blue eyes were still glassy. I wanted to know what was going on in her head. Maximus was restless with how upset she looked. I cupped her cheek and stroked it gently with my thumb. “Will you please tell me what is wrong?” I finally asked her.

She closed her eyes and leaned into my touch for a moment. When she opened her eyes, I didn’t miss the tear than escaped her lashes. “I think there is something I should tell both of you,” she said in the smallest voice.

“Okay,” I said.

Calder

Remi and Cullen came out of the bathroom. They both entered the closet, with him exiting quickly. I gave him a quizzical look. “Everything okay?” I asked as he pulled his clothes on. Remi hadn’t come out of the closet.

“She wants to tell us something important,” he said. I could tell that they had not resolved the issue. I didn’t know how Remi felt about getting pregnant, but I knew that I would let her decide completely.

Once he was dressed, he sat down on the couch next to me. I set down the folder I was flipping through and waited for Remi. She came out wearing her own pajamas for once. Her eyes were full of tears and she carried the little ornamental box I found while helping her unpack. She had been very skittish about it when I asked her what it was previously. Cullen had no idea what it was but had cautioned that she was that way when he went to her apartment.

She stopped in front of us and set the little box down. We both looked at her and waited for her to speak. She let out a long breath before speaking. “I never told you why my parents kicked me out,” she said quietly. My eyes widened. How did this relate to the issue of pregnancy? “I think it's only fair that I tell both of you. My parents kicked me out because…” she paused. Clearly, she was having trouble saying this. “Because I got pregnant at 16.”

I felt like the world stopped spinning for a moment. Did she just say she got pregnant at 16? How was that even possible? It is so rare for a wolf to become pregnant with anyone but their mate, chosen or fated. Chosen mates needed to be marked but were still able to produce pups. Many wolves see it as an excuse to be as promiscuous as they please before coming of mating age. I looked to Cullen whose face was angry. Looking back at Remi, she was noticeably paler and almost looked smaller.

“Where is it?” Cullen asked her in a dark voice. A small sob escaped her throat as she shakily pointed to the box she set on the table. He slowly leaned forward grabbing the box. His eyes didn’t leave hers as he sat back and opened the lid. When he looked down at the contents his eyes went wide in shock and I saw the blood drain from his face. “Fuck…” He said setting it down in between us and getting up. He went to Remi and pulled her into his arms where she started sobbing with her hands over her face. I looked at the little box he set down. It was open but facing where Cullen had just been sitting. I picked it up and turned it around. There was a small, engraved plate on the lid with a name and a singular date upon it. Under the date was little quote that read “Even in Heaven, my baby you’ll be.” In the main compartment of the box was a small package with something grey inside.

“Ashes,” Magnus said in my head.

Oh Goddess. Remi didn’t have the baby. She miscarried. I looked up at Cullen who was holding her tightly. She was sobbing against his chest. I got up and went to them. “Let me try,” I linked him. He passed her shaking frame to my arms.

“Shhhh,” I said softly. “Baby, it’s okay. We’re so sorry. Please stop crying…” I tried to soothe her. I held her close and gently stroked the back of her head. “It’s okay.” I kissed the top of her head repeatedly as I continued to try and calm her down. After a good while, she started to settle, and her sobs lessened. My eyes went to Cullen who had been standing there just watching her. His face had guilt written all over it. He was usually so good at masking himself, but he couldn’t right now. I knew he felt terrible for his initial reaction to her words. Now that she was calmer, I bent down and picked her up. She kept her face buried in my chest, her sobs now only small hiccups.

I sat down on the couch with her in my lap. Cullen sat next to me. His hand came up to caress her head. “Whenever you’re ready to tell us, we will listen,” I whispered softly to her. Now it made sense why she was so conflicted about the pregnancy thing. She was probably battling her new wolf instincts and her own past at the same time. She was on birth control, not because she was dating a lot, but because she had already been pregnant by accident. The question remained on how it was possible? Did suppressing her wolf also allow her to become pregnant as a human would?

“Her parents kicked her out because they thought she was going to give birth to a child and it would bring out Voldigoad,” Magnus concluded.

“That makes sense. They erased her from their lives, so they were no longer connected to her. They resented their own pup…” I lamented. Magnus agreed and it made both of us sad for Remi. She had been quiet for some time now. I periodically kissed the top of her head. She finally stirred in my arms and sat up. Her face was puffy and pink from her crying.

I reached up and wiped the tears away from her face. “Baby, please tell us what happened. We aren’t angry. We just want to understand…” I told her softly. Cullen nodded his head.

She took a shaky breath then finally spoke. “After I got pregnant, my parents kicked me out. My boyfriend at the time also decided to push me away. I was on my own. So, I figured it out. But it was only a couple months later that I started having issues. When I went to the hospital, they told me I was miscarrying. They told me that my body was attacking the baby and I wouldn’t be able to carry a child to term…” she concluded. She kept her eyes down the whole time she spoke, refusing to look at either of us. I felt her shame through the bond. How could she be ashamed right now?

“You didn’t want to get pregnant and miscarry again…” Cullen whispered. She nodded her head. Cullen reached over and pulled her from my lap to his. He held her to his chest and kissed her head. “I’m so sorry,” he said in the quietest voice. “I shouldn’t have reacted that way, love. I am so, so sorry…”

She shook her head. “I should have told you sooner…”

“It’s okay. We understand…” I told her.

“But you are going to be Alphas. Cullen even said you have a responsibility to produce an heir… and if I can’t…” she trailed off. As if this couldn’t get any worse.

“Remi,” Cullen said firmly. She peeked up at him. “That doesn’t matter. That will never make us not want you or love you any less. You are our mate, and we love you just the way you are. We don’t need pups; we just need you.” He was so serious. I nodded my head in agreement.

Her lip quivered. “But…” he silenced her immediately with his finger on her lips.

“No, love. We mean it. If you don’t want to try, then we won’t have any pups. If you want to try, then we will do everything we can to make it happen. But it will not make us love you any less. You are the most important thing to us,” he told her firmly. She just blinked her watery eyes at him.

“Nothing needs to be decided tonight. We can talk about this later. Let’s go to bed; it's late and this has all been a lot for one night,” I said. She turned her head and gave me a small nod. Cullen stood up, holding her in his arms. She hid her face in Cullen’s neck. We climbed onto the bed and settled her between us. She turned and snuggled her face into me. We both held her close. She slowly relaxed against me.

My mind was reeling still, and I was finding it hard to go to sleep, even as she fell into a fitful sleep on top of me. “I need to go, I will be back,” Cullen linked me. I locked eyes with him.

“Where?” I asked.

“I need to go for a run. I’ll be back in a while,” he said. He slowly got out of the bed, not disturbing Remi. He left the room without a word. I sighed and held her closer, pulling the blanket snug around her so she might not notice the bed just got a little bit colder next to her. I linked Gentry’s father to tell him I would not be leading training in the morning. Luckily, he was still awake. I laid there awake for a while longer before sleep finally found me.