51- Beneath the Wolf Moon
POV Lunara Grimwald:
“Gods, I need more drink,” I gasped. I raised my hand and called one of the wolves wandering with a jug. When he saw who I was he looked at me with scorn, but he obeyed the command.
“Please, I’d like a little more beer.”
Without a word he filled my cup.
“Thanks,” I said. He didn’t even bother to look at me before moving on.
“That’s why they’re talking and staring at you, and why they ignore you.”
“I thought it was because of Ruda,” I said.
“There may be some who blame you for his death, yes, but the majority know you fought for him until the last second, that you tried to save him. And though they’re grateful for that, they won’t thank you. Not while you’re wearing Catalina’s dress.”
I drank the beer. My body was already light from the amount of alcohol on my empty stomach.
I was used to being ignored by them, but not to being the center of attention — yet that’s how I felt at the moment. Everyone stared at me, judging and whispering.
“It was Thalira,” I confirmed, drinking more. “I heard her and Edric argue at his house. She was there.”
“Of course it was her, she’s the only one who still has access to Catalina’s things. She knew that if she made you wear the dress that was a gift meant for the she-wolf, people would hate you even more.”
“As well as knowing many of them felt grateful to Lunara for trying to save Ruda, that they admired you,” Celindra added. “She did it out of jealousy. Again.”
I should have stayed home; I could have watched the smoke through my bedroom window. That would have been enough to mourn Ruda and witness part of his rite of passage.
“Was Catalina… much loved by the pack?” I asked.
Celindra and Lyris exchanged a look. The omega pressed her lips into a thin line, then leaned her face toward my ear.
“She wasn’t a bad person, but I can’t say she was… amazing. She was Thalira’s friend, so you can imagine how she acted. She was good with the pack, helped those who needed it, but things had to go her way.”
“Then… why do they seem to love her so much?” I whispered.
“For Edric. Everyone here wants the alpha’s attention, his adoration. No one will dare tell the truth, even though they know what she was like.”
“And what was that?” I pursed my lips.
“That she had some good qualities but was full of flaws. Thalira tries to be like her. I think she believes that by being like her friend she’ll win Edric’s heart. She loved the pack, but she put herself above everything and everyone.”
“I think who does everything to keep Catalina’s memory alive is Thalira — so she forces Edric to remember who Catalina was and that he might have something like that again if he stayed with her,” Celindra hissed. “Just like she does everything to ruin you, because she sees you could be a queen far greater than Catalina ever was. She’s afraid of you; she sees you as a huge threat.”
Lyris agreed with a snort. That was far worse than I had imagined.
I didn’t want to know anything more about Edric, Catalina, or Thalira; the story was disturbing. I didn’t want to be involved in any of it.
I stood up abruptly, drawing a few glances. My legs were weak and wobbly from the excess alcohol. I flattened my hands on the table and leaned on them.
“I tried to save Ruda because it was the right thing to do, because he was just an innocent pup and because they wanted me, not him. And no one should pay for my sins, not because I want them to like me or admire me,” I said, cutting the conversation short, speaking low so only the two of them could hear.
“We know that, Lunara,” Celindra answered.
“We didn’t think otherwise for a moment.” She blinked, as if trying to push the memories away. “I was there. I saw how and why you acted.”
I nodded, pressing my lips together.
“I just wanted… to make sure you knew the truth.” I stepped away from them. “I’m going home—the night is over for me.”
I ignored the absurd number of stares being angled my way. I lifted my chin and walked through the crowd toward Edric’s house.
As I passed, they turned their backs on me, ignoring me completely and making it plainly obvious. I kept my posture and refrained from reacting.
I spotted Thalira from afar. She drank standing by a table and chatted with the two females I’d seen speaking about her and Edric earlier that night at the bar. Her eyes met mine and her lips curved into a half-ironical smile. She raised one brow and tilted her head to the side. Her friends also turned their heads in my direction, gloating over my failure, over my humiliation.
They laughed at me, mocked my situation. I lifted my chin even higher.
My wolf growled inside my chest, ready to kill her. I clenched my teeth tightly, feeling my fangs ache as they lengthened. My nails grew. I closed my hands into fists, digging them into my skin and hurting myself.
My steps became slow and staggered as I forced my body away from them. Away from any of them.
It didn’t matter what that female had done. This was Ruda’s funeral, and he deserved respect.
Repeating that like a song to calm myself, I moved forward.
My heart pounded erratically, like the wings of a wounded bird. I held my breath in my lungs, only letting it go once I stepped into the dense, dark forest, far from them all.
The moonlight filtered through the wide branches of the trees, illuminating the path of dry leaves.
I looked up at it, begging the star-sprinkled sky, or whatever supernatural entity might be listening, to help me make Eldoria a safe and welcoming place for me and my sister.
I continued on my way alone, as I always had been, ever since I lost Elowen.
Softly, I sang as I walked, their legacy on my lips:
“...We are like warriors destined, like our ancestors.”
May I be a warrior, but never a coward. As the Eldoria were, as life itself was shaping me to be.