298- My voice
POV Seraphine Valerian:
Tears leapt from my eyes. I didn’t want to lose control in front of him, but I ran toward him and fell to my knees beside the bed, embracing him while crying.
“Teo…” His voice sounded low, tired, surprised. “My daughter…”
“Father…” I kissed his thin cheeks, touched his cold skin, his gray hair.
“No, child… no…”
I felt his nervousness after the initial shock. He held my head, staring into my eyes. Terror in his expression.
“You shouldn’t have come.”
“I should have come sooner.”
“I’ll leave you alone,” Camélia said quietly, closing the door behind her.
“Seraphine…” It was an effort for him to speak. “Go now.”
“No.”
He became desperate. He held me tighter, opening his mouth to protest. But I said everything before he could:
“I spent my life running from what you said was my destiny. I can’t do it anymore. I had neither mother nor father close to me. Don’t drive me away in the last moments I have beside you. Please.”
“It’s for your… safety…”
“If that is my destiny, I accept it. Somewhere in the world it will find me.”
“No, child… please…”
“I will stay here. And everything will be fine. I love you, Daddy.” I embraced him again and heard his sob.
His thin arms wrapped around me and we cried together without saying anything else for a while. Until the emotions calmed and he tried to look at me again.
“Listen, Teo… it’s not my illusion or fantasy… you are in danger… he will come… he will know… that you are here…”
“I won’t leave the house. I’ll stay by your side.”
“That won’t… stop him. It’s real.”
“I’m not afraid. I promise I’ll leave when…”
“When I die. It won’t be long. Don’t cry…”
His thin, rough fingers passed over my wet cheeks.
“I wish you were well! That we could have more time.”
“Everything is in God’s plans, dear. But we still have the… the chance to choose. Please go back to Germany. You’ve seen me now. Let’s… say goodbye.”
“I’ll stay here. Or I’ll die with you.”
“Foolish… stubborn girl…”
Fear filled his voice. He tried to convince me, became irritated, choked on his words. I helped him drink a little water from the mug, sat beside him on the bed, and stroked his hair until he calmed down, though he still stared at me in panic.
“I promise, Daddy. I’ll leave soon. Just let me stay a little longer. Don’t reject me.”
“I never rejected you. I tried to protect you… and that will have meant nothing… if you stay here.”
“Being with you is worth everything.”
He sighed, as if seeing the determination in me. Nothing he said would make me change my mind.
So he fell silent, worried and nervous. He closed his eyes from sheer exhaustion and suddenly fell asleep. I cried quietly, noticing how enormous his belly looked on his thin body. His liver must have been terribly swollen.
He was too young, too important, to die.
Only sixty-five years old.
I stayed by his side, lost in thought, until I calmed down a little and accepted what could not be changed. There was fear in me—fear of his life slipping away, fear of everything we had lost, but also fear of the threat he had always seen in my journey. I didn’t believe it, yet I didn’t completely deny it either.
The door opened slowly and Camélia appeared, beckoning me with her finger. When I approached, she insisted I eat something and led me to the kitchen. I sat there desolate, without hunger, without spirit.
“Here, drink this tea, girl. You need to be strong. Or do you want to make your father worry?”
I held the warm mug, looking at the lemon peels and pieces of fruit at the bottom. It smelled like black tea with cardamom. I tasted it and it was delicious, helping ease the tightness inside me.
She served us a plate of rice with herbs and pork. I forced myself to take a few bites, constantly glancing toward the hallway behind me, alert to any sound from the bedroom.
“Barô will sleep now. He had taken his medication shortly before you arrived.”
“He didn’t eat?”
“He can’t. He tried some tea and a little soup, but…” She shook her head sadly. “He didn’t want to stay hospitalized, prolonging the suffering.”
She squeezed my hand when my eyes filled with tears. I set down the fork and took another sip of tea.
“We are only a shell. Zorvan will have a much better life when he is in the true world. He was a good man. He took care of all of us.”
“And now?”
“We don’t have a Shuvano like him. It’s hard to find one. But he trained another person to replace him in leading the village.”
I listened to her explanations about how things worked there, but I already knew much of it from all the conversations I had with my father on the phone and during his visits. I had always been hungry to take part, even from afar.
I felt exhausted from the trip and from everything I felt. Camélia wanted to take me to the room where I would stay, but I insisted on remaining beside my father. She spread a thin mattress next to his bed, and after taking a bath, I lay down there listening to his breathing.
I stared at the dim window and a chill crawled up my spine.
What if the beast existed?
What if it came to find me there?
I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself.
Nothing would happen.
I would prove it.