192- The Pain That Burns From Within
POV Elowen Grimwald:
The things that male stirred in my body, merely by existing in the same space as me, escaped all logic. Never, in my short life, had I felt such a need for something… or someone, in that way.
Without being able to control my own hand, I grabbed the tip of the thick, hot shaft.
“Aldren…”
He growled, the swollen head throbbing in my hand.
“You will pay for this. I will make you suffer for the rest of your heat for this insolence. Believe me, prisoner, I know how to make you endure.”
Before I could slide my hand down to the base, he removed his hand from my neck and grabbed a fistful of my hair, dragging me back into the cage.
I slammed against the icy floor and heard the beep of the lock engaging.
I didn’t move.
I bit the insides of my cheeks so I wouldn’t scream in rage and frustration.
I locked my breathing so my sob wouldn’t burst out like thunder.
I tried to swallow the tears, but some spilled anyway, burning my face.
Perhaps the ancient legend that said tears that scorch the skin are the ones that express the deepest sorrow of the soul was true.
I don’t remember how I fell asleep; I woke up on the floor of the cage.
It seemed that from now on, everything was only downhill.
I opened my eyes and noticed that a sheet covered the cage. I brought a hand to my lips when I realized the sounds coming from outside.
No…
The silhouette of a head moving up and down. The panting.
The moans of satisfaction.
Aldren was simply receiving oral sex. Right there, just a few meters from me. His promise to make me suffer for believing I was plotting against him was more alive than ever.
What I didn’t understand was why that scene affected me so deeply. Why? I hated him and wanted to kill him. But I also wanted to kill myself and didn’t even know why… it hurt.
A sharp dagger seemed to be plunged into my heart over and over again, without pause. I wanted to scream. Break that cage apart and slit the throat of the bitch sucking him off.
Torture! Ah!
Of all the pain I had felt in life, this one burned differently.
From the inside out, as if tearing my skin apart. And why?
Why?
“Keep going. Someone needs a lesson that you don’t try to sexually manipulate an alpha who has everything he wants,” he growled at the female.
No!
My stomach twisted and every inch of my skin burned, as if I had been thrown into a pit of boiling oil.
I couldn’t hold it.
An inexpressible howl tore from my throat. So loud and powerful that I heard objects falling around the cage. The floor quivered and the air grew scarce.
And once again, without control, furtive tears spilled.
I lost myself.
For a stretch of time I couldn’t measure, I neither heard nor saw anything else.
When I came back to myself, Nerin was inside my cage, kneeling beside me, and for the first time she looked concerned.
“What happened, girl? What is it?”
“I don’t know…” Tears streamed from my eyes like an open faucet. “Was it you… with him?” I asked, dreading the answer.
“With him what?” She paused. “Of course not!”
“You finally got it.” Didn’t you hear Aldren calling me? They left and I came in. She grabbed my right arm. “Come on, get up.”
“I want to die, I can’t take it anymore…” And I truly meant it.
What was this fucking feeling?
Why did hearing him with another female hurt more than his humiliations? And why was my she-wolf—who days ago had turned against me—now the first to crave death?
“Elowen, if I don’t do what I need to before he comes back here, you will cause me problems.”
My own misery was already enough; I couldn’t also be the reason to get in trouble someone who was only following orders.
Sobbing out the remnants of my tears, I stood up with Nerin’s help, suffering from stabbing muscle spasms.
Walking with difficulty, I was taken to the bathroom.
Apathetic and detached from everything around me, I simply followed all her orders. After brushing my teeth and showering, I stood still in front of the half-body wall mirror, contemplating my own destruction.
“Brush your hair, Elowen.” Her voice echoed distantly in my ears.
My strength seemed exhausted and I couldn’t move anymore. That woman’s merciful soul took the brush and did it for me.
She dried me.
And dressed me in a nightgown.
With one arm supporting my back, she took me back to the cage. The sheet no longer covered it.
Inside the bars, the space now had a thin mattress and a thick blanket that looked soft. A bottle of water and a cup beside it.
I turned my face toward her to ask how those things had gotten there if she had been with me.
“Do you think I’m the only one who works here?” she replied before I could ask. “I need to lock you in; I’ll bring you something to eat soon.”
I stepped into the cage on my own and went straight to the mattress. I unfolded the blanket; it was large enough to cover me from head to toe. That’s what I did.
I hated myself for every tear shed over that flea-ridden imbecile, while at the same time searching for answers to my own breakdown.
I couldn’t stand remaining in that situation. Inside me, my she-wolf shared the same pain. Or was it me sharing hers?
Why?
Why…?
If he didn’t kill me, all those humiliations would end up doing the job.
Either I would die, or he would. Maybe I could kill him.
We would see who would finish the other first.