Chapter 55: Home Again

I don’t even think about it; I just run into my mom’s arms and hug her. I all but slam into her, and she wraps her arms around me, and I hear her take a shaky breath. She’s crying, and I only squeeze her tighter.

“You’re back,” I whisper, and she nods, still embracing me. I don’t care why. I know I should. I should be angry and suspicious, and maybe there’s a small part of me that is, but the rest of me just missed her too much.

The traitor’s daughter. Daughter of the Lobo Pack. Savior of Greywood.

You can call me whatever name or title you want, but I’m still just Valerie at the end of the day. I’m just a kid that’s really damn happy to hug her mom.

We cling to each other tightly, and she rubs my back in small circular motions. Why are moms so good at hugs? Even one’s that abandoned you. It’s not fair.

She finally pulls away as if reading my mind. She holds me by the shoulders, examining her with a motherly scan.

“Not even a year has gone by, and you look so different. It was too long. You look older. Stronger. Look at you; you’ve gained some muscle. I can’t believe how grown up you look. Have you been eating enough?” she asks, tucking a strand of my sleek brown hair behind my ear.

“I’m fine, Mom,” I say with a laugh, stepping away to look at her better. She looks older as well, somehow. She’s skinnier than when she left, and her hands on my shoulders feel calloused. There are dark circles under her eyes, and her own brown hair is somewhat frazzled in her braid. I’ve missed having her braid my hair. Goddess, I’ve just missed her.

“I’m so sorry, Valerie,” she says, and the smile falls from my lips. There’s a pain in her gaze and a tremble in her voice, and I shake my head.

“Mom, just don’t,” I say.

“No, I have to. I have to say I’m sorry, even if it’s not enough. I know it’s not enough. There are no words. There’s nothing I can say that could possibly make up for what I did. I was so afraid, and I ran away, but it was wrong. You’re my baby. I’m so sorry, Valerie; I never should have left you.”

I can’t hold back the tears any longer.

“No, you shouldn’t have,” I say with a small sob, and she squeezes my hand.

“I know. Come here.”

She pulls me back in for another hug, and I rest my head on her shoulder, letting myself be comforted.

“I made a horrible mistake,” she says, crying. “I tried finding a new pack, but after a few weeks, the heartache and fear of your father’s death calmed down, and I realized how stupid I’d been. I turned around and came right back to find out, to apologize for running away.”

Wait. What?

“A few weeks? Mom, it’s been months. So much has happened.”

“I know, pumpkin, I know. I tried to come back, but Alpha Anthony had men patrolling the town. When he found out I was returning to the pack, he gave orders to keep me out. He said he wouldn’t allow me to corrupt Greywood and the Lobo Pack the way my husband did. He told me you were being looked out for and that you were better off without me; if I came back, I would ruin your chance at a normal life.”

“He did what?” I ask incredulously. Anger bubbles up inside me. Not only did that man murder my father, but he also kept my mother away from me?

“I didn’t know what to believe. I wanted to see you, to make sure you were okay, but he said I lost my chance to be here when I walked away, and he exiled me for abandoning the pack. His men wouldn’t let me into the town. Every time I tried to come back for you, they would hunt me and chase me away before I could even get close. Then, out of nowhere, they stopped. I don’t know what happened, but suddenly the patrol changed, and the wolves let me pass. I don’t know what changed Anthony’s mind or why—”

“Mom, listen to me. Anthony is gone. He’s been exiled upon penalty of death. Nora and Marcel Ernouf are gone too. Dorian Boris is the Alpha now.”

Her eyes go wide for a moment, and she frowns in confusion.

“Boris? Isn’t that the young man that moved into town with his father the day your father died? How did he become Alpha?”

“It’s… a long story,” I say with a sigh.

“So, tell me. I’m not going anywhere. I’m back, and I will never leave you like that again.”

Despite everything, I feel myself smile at her words.

“Okay, let’s sit. I have a lot to tell you.”

We sit in the living room and talk until the early hours of the morning. I talk until my throat is dry, filling her in on everything that’s happened. I tell her about Dorian, and Emily, and Felix, and Marcel, and she cries when she hears about Angelica’s death. I tell her about my job at the Happy Brew, prom, the storm, the Wolf’s Bane, the basement, the fight at the school, my stay at the hospital, and the gathering at the Pack House. Finally, I tell her about the challenge between Marcel and Dorian and how it ended without anyone dying.

My mom sits there and listens, crying and laughing and gasping accordingly. Every now and then, she interrupts me to ask a question or squeeze my hand. I tell her my story, and even though it’s exhausting, I feel lighter when I’m through. But the ending of my tale tastes bittersweet, and we’re both quiet for a few minutes once I finish.

“I don’t know what to say,” she tells me, and it sounds about right. “I… I’m so sorry, Valerie. You shouldn’t have had to go through all that. I know you weren’t alone in the end, but I should have been there. If I hadn’t been so selfish and stupid and left when I did—”

“Stop,” I interrupt her. I don’t want to hear it. “It’s done. It’s in the past, alright? I don’t have the energy to carry grudges and regret. You came back. You kept trying to come back, even after they chased you away. And you’re here now. That’s what matters.”

She looks at me with teary eyes and something that might be awe.

“Where did my little girl go? Just look at you. Look at everything you’ve done, everything you’ve accomplished. I know I have no right to be, but I am so proud of you. I’m so proud of the choices you’ve made and of the woman you’ve become. And your dad would be too.”

“Thanks, Mom. I miss him so much.”

“I know, pumpkin; I do too. But there’s something you have to know,” she says. Oh no. What now? “Before I left, I took a bag of your father’s stuff from his study. I wasn’t sure what was in it, but I wanted something to remember him by. It took me a while to find the strength to look through it, but…” she paused, getting up to bring the papers from the kitchen counter and the red notebook from where I’d dropped it on the floor. “Here.”

“Dad’s journal,” I say, taking it from her.

“Yes. It felt wrong to read it. He was such a private man, you know. But I love him so much. I can’t even say that I loved him in the past tense because even though he’s gone, the love isn’t. I was so angry when he died. In some ways, I hated him just as much as I loved him. I hated him for leaving us, and I was blinded by my grief.” She takes a deep breath, steadying herself, and then she glances at the journal again. “When I found Angelica’s drawing among his things, I knew I had to read it to get answers.”

I look back at the stack of papers and grab the one I recognized from before. When I flip it over to see the drawing, something snaps within me.

“This is…” I can’t even say it.

“Your dad didn’t know about the Wolf’s Bane. You thought you were honoring his legacy, but that was all you. You figured that out all on your own, without any help from either of us. You uncovered the Alpha’s corruption better than your father could,” she says, and then she taps the paper in my hands. “This is what your father discovered. It’s why he gave you that necklace. It’s what he wrote about in his journal and what he argued about with Angelica.”

“This is why he challenged Anthony.”