Chapter 34

We walked into the room together. All of the others were already there. Rafael didn’t say a word, just went over to pull out the stack of files from the pack Bethany had carried, then set them on the table. He pushed through them one by one. I knew the file he was looking for. Finding it, he picked it up and opened it.

I watched his jaw clench as he flipped through the pages.

“We need to get those files to medical, so they’re aware of what was used on those people.” Alona said softly. “Some of them are in bad shape.”

“What does the doctor say about their recovery?” Troy asked.

Alona sighed, “it is too soon to tell.”

“We need to speak to Detrick and Gudrun as soon as they’re able.” Michael said glancing to Victor, then Quinton. “I still can’t believe Gudrun is alive.”

Troy straightened up from where he was perched on the table. “I’d like to read through these files before we turn them over to the doctor.”

Chase nodded. “I agree.”

Quinton rubbed his hand over his brow, “I never knew what happened to Deet, he just vanished.”

Victor crossed his arms over his chest. “We need to find out how that happened, as well as how this many people were being held in the same facility—I do not believe it is a coincidence.”

“Especially with that woman with the red eyes being on the staff there.” Arius added. “We need to find out what she knows.”

Michael pinched the bridge of his nose for a second. “I’m concerned with trusting her, to start with, but we still need to call her.”

Troy nodded. “We’ll look into that tomorrow.”

“If we have to start checking all facilities like that for missing people, it’s going to be a massive task.” Leone glanced at Rafael, who was still looking at the pages in the folder.

Rafael walked over to the wall with the maps on it. He stood there with his back to everyone looking at the file. “Daxx,” he said abruptly, “do you know where this is?”

Daxx gave Troy a hesitant look, then went over and looked where he was pointing in the folder. “No, never heard of it.”

Rafael nodded his head once. “We’ll have to look it up.”

“What are we looking up?” Troy asked in that tone that told everyone he was in charge.

Rafael turned around. “Where Kara’s family is.” He snarled.

Victor cleared his throat, “while I understand your need,” he glanced at Michael, “to find answers for Kara, we have other tasks that must take precedence, brother.”

Rafael closed the folder in his hand and glared at Victor then he pointed to Crissy, “if it was your mate, you would burn every building in your path to find justice for her.” His tone was low and lethal.

Victor stood there without movement and looked at him. “You are right.” He nodded. “I would do, and have offered to do so many times.” Giving Crissy a gentle look, he turned back to Rafael, “she doesn’t want to relive her past, only move forward with her future.”

I held my breath and watched, not even sure of what I was feeling.

Rafael shook his head, “she deserves to know why she was dumped there.” He said through clenched teeth.

“I’m with him.” Autumn pushed away from the table she’d been perched on. “Kara deserves answers.” She looked at me. “If she wants it, I’ll help.”

I bit my lip and turned my head slowly to see everyone in the room was looking at me. Every expression said it was my call, entirely my decision. I’d never had options in my life. I’d never had people that were for me and not against. I didn’t know what I wanted. For the first eight years I’d wanted to see my family, wanted to know why. Why had I been put there. Why no one came to see me on visitor’s day, ever. The next four years I didn’t care, my only objective then was to figure out what I had to do to get out.

“Kara…”

“Give her space.” Rafael told Bethany.

I looked at her, then to him. Today I’d gone back there, something I never would have dreamt I could have done. I wasn’t courageous, not in the slightest. I looked at Rafael’s steady gaze as he watched me, assessing my state of well-being. Turning I glanced to Chase, then Paisley, they were watching too. I couldn’t even describe what the looks on their faces meant. They were concerned and worried but stood there waiting. Everyone cared what I thought, what I felt. I mattered. My opinions mattered.

My throat seized closed; my heart was pounding in my chest. I wasn’t freaking out, not the way I normally did. This wasn’t panic, this was pure emotion, one that I didn’t think I’d ever feel. I tried to clear the invisible obstruction out of my throat.

Logic, I needed to work this out logically. I was standing in a room, in a palace. A palace in another realm. I looked at the floor, then around at the others. In this other realm there was a family—family that had taken me in. Taken me in even though I’d shot one of their brothers. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat again. And, and despite all that they cared about me.

I felt a tear roll down my cheek but did move to wipe it away.

“Chase,” Alona whispered.

Chase moved across the room to her and put his arm around her. Alona’s face reflected the emotional turmoil I was feeling inside.

“Sorry,” I said softly. I didn’t want to upset her.

She shook her head.

Bethany came over, “Kara, it’s okay.”

I nodded, tears now running down my face.

Daxx lifted her arms in a jerky motion and looked at Troy, then back to me. “Do you want us to hunt them down?” She nodded, a scowl on her face. “I’ll hunt them down; you don’t need to cry.” She looked at her mate again. “Troy, she’s crying.”

I shook my head. “No, no. It’s not that.” My whole body was shaking and I couldn’t get the tears to stop. “I’m I-I know you would and-and it,” I wiped at my face, “thank you.” I nodded; not sure what else I could say. I looked at Chase, then to Paisley, “thank you.”

Rafael came over quickly and gently took my shoulders. “Honey, it’s okay,” he said softly.

“It is.” I grasped his shirt in both hands. “I matter.” I looked up at him, the tears blurred his face. My voice was barely audible and I couldn’t seem to speak. “I can’t-I didn’t,” I shook my head, then gasped trying to breath, “I matter but it doesn’t, not before—” I rested my forehead on his chest, “they’re not my family.” I sucked in a breath. “Not really.”

“Raf.” Chase said in a quiet warning.

“Come on,” Rafael put his arm around me and coaxed me toward the door.

I walked, blindly following where he guided me. The tears were slowing, but the thoughts in my head weren’t. I couldn’t focus as all the thoughts hit me at once. I heard him opening a door, then closing it. Wiping my eyes, I looked around. It took a minute to register that this was my room. The rest of the furniture was here and it was beyond anything I could have ever dreamed of. My room. I had a room here. The room was three times the size of anywhere I’d ever lived. I’d selected the furniture, not from a second-hand store or someone’s discarded belongings on the curb, but beautiful, well-cared for furniture and it was mine.

The damn broke again and I started crying uncontrollably. I felt him guide me across the room, until something hit the back of my legs. I sat down.

Rafael dropped to his knees in front of me, grasping my face between his hands gently. “Honey, talk to me. What’s wrong?” He kissed my forehead softly, “how can I fix it?”

That made me cry more. “You can’t.” I said, “there isn’t.” I shook my head.

He wiped the tears from my eyes, so I could see his watching me. The pain in them stunned me. “I don’t understand.”

I took a deep breath and blew it out, trying to catch my breath so I could speak clearly. “There’s nothing wrong.” I whispered, my voice cracking as I did. “It’s all right. Just-just so very right.”

The confusion was clear in his expression.

“I’ve never had anyone,” I put my hand over my mouth when my emotions threatened to spill over again, “anyone that cared about what happened to me.” I shook my head, “never mind so many.”

Relief showed in his eyes. “Of course, we care about you. All of us.”

“I don’t know anything about all of,” I waved my hand around, “this. Royal stuff. A palace and-and, what if I do something I shouldn’t? I don’t know how to have friends. What are the dynamics of family? How-how do I do what I should do if I don’t know what that is? You-you all give me choices. I don’t know what to choose. You ask my opinion like-like it matters. I don’t want to let anyone down.”

He gave me a soft look. “Even at my age, I’m still learning. No one expects you to know everything,” he smirked, “we leave that up to Crissy.” He kissed a tear rolling down my cheek with such tenderness I hiccupped and tried to breathe. “If you make mistakes, so what. You think we haven’t?” His eyes reflected the most powerful thing I’d ever seen. Love. Understanding. “If you knew how epically we’ve screwed up in the last hundred or so years, you’d run the other way.” Another feather light kiss to my face. “We don’t expect perfection.” This kiss was placed on one damp eyelid, “I don’t care what you do, I will always see you the same,” the other eyelid with a loving a touch, “even when I was pissed that you sunk an arrow in my ass, I still thought you were the bravest, most beautiful woman I’d ever seen.” He smirked, “I wasn’t happy about it in that moment either, but the more you revealed who you are, the more my anger was filled with something else.” His lips gently brushed over mine, “pride.”

Taking a deep breath, he backed up and looked at me with such compassion I had to take a breath so I wouldn’t start bawling again. “I have a lot to learn in this life and I would like to do it with someone.” Blowing out a quick breath, he gave me a nervous look. “I have never not known what to say to a woman, but with you I can’t seem to speak, or I babble like a moron.” He blew out a slower breath, then looked at my eyes and didn’t blink. “Karalene Coffey I’d like you to be my mate, in all ways—officially bonded, tattoos and all.” He visibly swallowed then inhaled deeply, “I know we don’t know each other, but I feel like we’ve known each other forever. I think you’re the answer to my prayers, If I prayed— the solution to my problems and the only thing I need to succeed in life and everything it throws at me.” He gave me a nervous smile. “I’m sure I will piss you off and make you want to shoot me again, many, many times in the next few centuries, but I promise I will always listen to you, I will always support what you need and always, always be there so you’re not alone.” He squeezed my hands gently, a vulnerable look in his eyes, “you don’t have to answer me now, but please think about it.”

I felt like someone poured cold water over my head. I opened my mouth to tell him I would think about it and I thought he was crazy. Me? Why would he want someone like me? I had issues. A lot of issues. Probably more issues than even I knew I had. “Yes.” My mouth said with great conviction. No explanation, no thought, just that one word.

He gave me a hesitant look. “Yes, you’ll think about it?”

I shook my head. “No, I won’t think about it.” I wasn’t lying. If I thought about it, I’d run away. All I needed to think about was how he made me feel. Even the small things like holding my hand when I was nervous or scared mattered more than anything I’d ever known in my life.

His brows drew together.

“Yes. I will be your mate.” Was I insane? Maybe. Did I care if I was? No. Nothing had ever just fit like this did. He wasn’t perfect and it did seem like he had as much baggage as I did, but I felt safe with him. Always.

Rafael leaned back, still holding my hands and studied my face, I think he thought I was joking. “You will be my life, not just my mate.” His smile went beyond one of the charming ones I’d witnessed before. I felt like my bones might be melting. He grasped my face and kissed me. Not brief, not teasing, but so passionate I was sure my soul was being fused to his at the very moment our tongues touched.

Lifting his head, he looked at me with red eyes. “Now?” he nodded quickly. “Please say now.”

I blinked, “I-I don’t know how…”

He gave me a grin, a complete player’s grin, “your body will know what you want. Do what feels good for you.”

I felt my cheeks heat.

Standing, he gently pulled me to my feet. I got lost in his smile he. He helped me take off my jacket, and dropped it on the floor. My nerves caught up to my spring-loaded mouth. “I don’t know how this bond happens.” I blushed, “I mean other than that what I’m assuming happens, happens.”

Rafael kissed my mouth briefly. “Yes, that happens. Fate does the rest.” He took off one of my gloves, then the other one. With his eyes locked on mine, he shrugged out of his coat and dropped it on the floor.

I stood there as if my feet were cemented in place, staring as he took off his shirt and tossed it aside.

Reaching over, he took the earbud out of my ear and tucked it in his pocket before undoing his jeans.

I swallowed while trying to remember how to breathe.

Without a word, he lifted my arm and took off my bracelet. Kissing my hand, he placed my palm against his chest.

I glanced at the warm flesh under my hand, then looked back to see he held a knife.

“We need to do a blood exchange.” His voice was deeper, barely more than a whisper.

I nodded unable to speak through the sexual tension taking a hold of my body and the lust seeping into my brain.

…honey, you keep looking at me like that and this is going to go way too fast…

My face felt hot. I looked back into his eyes; they weren’t blue but weren’t red yet. “I’m nervous.”

Leaning down, he kissed my mouth softly.

…me too. I don’t want to screw this up with you…

I gave him a surprised look. “I’m pretty sure you know what you’re doing.”

“My past. Anyone in my past doesn’t matter. There’s only you from now on.” He looked at my neck, then to my mouth. Taking my hand, he turned to sit on the bed. With a gentle tug I was sitting across his lap.

…only you…

My heart had never beat this fast before. I dragged air into my body and tried to blow it out slowly but couldn’t manage that.

…don’t overthink it, just feel…

I nodded, afraid to speak and say the wrong thing.

…after the blood exchange, you’ll be able to feel what I feel…

Eyes wide, I looked into his eyes, to see he was telling the truth. “Do-do you have to cut me too?”

He shook his head, then his eyes went completely red. He smiled, making his fangs visible, then winked at me. “No cutting required.”

I’d forgot he had fangs. How someone could forget something like that I wasn’t sure.

Watching me, he cut into his chest above his heart. I heard the knife clunk on the floor, then he cupped the back of my head and gently guided me toward him.

Licking the trail of blood, I wasted no time closing my mouth over the cut. Rafael sucked in a sharp breath, his hands clenching in my hair. The gash in his skin closed quickly. I lifted my head to see his red eyes focused on me.

Still holding my hair, he pulled my head gently to the side and lowered his. I felt his breath brush over the skin in my throat. Without warning, he bit me then lifted his head, his hot breath feathering over where he’d bitten. When his mouth closed around the bite and he sucked, my whole body flushed, completely aware of him.

As he lifted his head, I turned mine and kissed him for the first time without him initiating. Feeling what I could only describe as lust ran through me. Breaking the kiss, I stood up, then gave him a gentle push so he lay back on the bed. I had no idea what I was doing, only knew what I wanted. Him. Kneeling over him, I leaned down and licked over his chest. He made a guttural sound that echoed through his chest as my mouth moved up.

…too much of that and I’ll embarrass myself…

He grasped the back of my head and gently pulled so I would move up to his mouth. I may have been on top of him, but he was in control of everything from that point on. He kissed me in a way that made my head light, my body hot and my mind go blank. I reached down and undid his jeans, then let out a frustrated sound when I realized there was no way I could get them off of him.

Rafael sat up, me sitting on top of him. He broke the kiss and pushed my shirt up to expose my waist.

I pulled it over my head and tossed it aside. He undid my bra and pulled it off my shoulders just as fast. I gasped and hugged his head when his mouth moved over me.

…so beautiful…

When he lifted his head, I leaned down and kissed his neck as he had done mine, he lifted his chin giving me access. I attacked his neck with my mouth and teeth, unable to stop the feelings rushing through me.

Grasping my waist, he stood up. As soon as my feet touched the floor, he bent down and started undoing my boots.

I wasn’t even sure where they landed when I kicked them off. Lifting the cuffs, he pulled the knives out and tossed them out of the way. I took over when he was trying to undo my belt and jeans, and pulled them off quickly. As soon as they hit the floor, he grasped my hips and bent, kissing the sensitive flesh of my stomach. I sucked in a breath and held onto his shoulders as my knees threatened to give out.

Feelings of lust, need, and about ten others I didn’t recognize flooded me. Panting, trying to breathe, I looked at his expression as he stood in front of me.

…so consumed with you I can’t think, only feel…

Even his thought echo was raspy with need. I reached for the waist of his jeans and shoved at them. He pushed them past his hips and down, then sat to untie his boots, and push them off each foot.

I leaned over and pulled the jeans from his legs. As I straightened, he grasped my hips again and leaned back, pulling both of us onto the bed.

Crawling up his body, until my mouth was level with his, I hesitated, not sure what to do next.

“You set the pace, honey.”

…it’s all you. Only you…

I nodded and wanted to ask what I should do when his feelings washed over me again. Urgency, and need so deep it hurt. Gasping, I raised up on my knees and was glad he helped me. As I lowered myself onto him, I forgot how to breathe. There was moaning and I didn’t know if it was from my throat, his, or simply a thought. Everything else faded and no longer mattered.

I looked down to see the intensity, his red eyes heavy with lust, his chest rising and falling in an uneven rhythm. I looked at my hand, wondering if it mattered which one…

…left…

I held out my left hand, he closed his left hand around mine, locking our fingers together.

…honey you need to move now…

The urgency of his thoughts were accented with a blast of passion through our bond. I used our clasped hands as leverage to keep my balance so I could move, after a moment I didn’t need to think, my body took over.

The noises, I realized were coming from my throat, echoed by his own. Tugging on my hand, he put his above his head, forcing me to stretch out over him. The friction from our flesh contacting only enhanced the feelings that consumed me. My body was reaching, but I didn’t know what for.

…let go and stop fighting it…

Grasping the back of my head, he pulled it to the side and lifted his. He bit into my neck without preamble and the pain mixed with the pleasure had me crying out his name as my body flew over the edge. I think I screamed, but couldn’t focus enough to know. My whole body spasmed and shattered into the most blissful feeling I’d even known.

Releasing my neck, Rafael, shifted and flipped me over onto my back without leaving my body or releasing my hand. He moved with sure thrusts and took my body back up for a second time. I squealed as he tensed.

I swore I was floating, actually floating. Sounds started to return and all I could hear was our breathing.

Rafael kissed my neck and rested his face on the bed beside mine.

…you’re amazing…

He kissed my neck again.

…as soon as I can breathe, we’ll do that again… slowly…

I smiled and turned my head to rest my cheek against his.

Lifting his weight onto his elbow, he pulled our still clasped hands up, so they were held in the air. I looked to see a tattoo that started at his shoulder, wound around his entire arm, through our entwined hands and all the way up to my shoulder.

“It’s beautiful.” I whispered.

“You’re beautiful.” He leaned down and kissed me, slow, lingering.

I felt him stir inside me and despite what we’d just done I blushed.

~

I had no idea what time it was or how long we’d been here. I didn’t care either. I lay there with my head resting on him as we lay on the bed, shaped like a T. “Do you think my name is pronounced Kara-lean or something else?” I turned my head and looked at him.

“What do I know? My name is Rafael,” he smirked at me, “could be worse though, could have a name like Eugene or Herman.”

“Gah, I said that, didn’t I?”

He chuckled. “You did, right after saying something about my buns of steel.”

I grinned, then lifted and eyebrow, “they are very nice buns.”

Music started playing.

“Ignore it.” He said quickly, then rolled and pulled me up to lay face to face with him. Brushing the hair back from my face, he kissed my nose. “I think Karalene is a beautiful name.”

“You say it like Caroline, only different.” I played with the dimple in his cheek as he smiled at me. “I like it.”

He kissed me softly.

“Can we go horseback riding again soon?”

Moving back, so he could see me clearly, he searched my face. “Yes. I’ll have to arrange guards and lookouts, but you can do whatever you want.” He gave me a serious look, “you know, that right? You’re now very officially,” He held up my tattooed arm, “a member of the royal family.”

I looked at my arm, then back to him. “Really? I wasn’t sure if I could do whatever I wanted.”

“Only thing you are not allowed to do is ignore me if your safety is in question.” His expression was serious.

I nodded. “Got it. You’re the security expert.”

He grinned. Turning, he looked at the little fridge in the corner. “What’s in the fridge? Tell me there’s water.”

I leaned up on my elbow. “Yes. Chocolate milk too and snacks for Tawny.”

Rolling he got up and went over to the fridge. I couldn’t help but admire the view of muscle as he moved with grace to the other side of the room. “Your tush doesn’t even have a mark on it.” I blushed when he gave me a look over his shoulder. “Which I’m thankful for.”

Coming back over, he handed me a bottle of water, then lay back down and took a drink from his own.

The music started playing again. With a loud sigh, he reached over the side of the bed, and rummaged around in his clothes and picked up his phone and looked at it. Heaving a sigh, he flopped onto his back and set the phone on his chest and tapped the screen. “Yeah?” Putting his arm under my shoulders, he pulled me closer.

“Ah, good, you answered finally.”

It was Chase.

“First, Kara is well?”

Rafael raised an eyebrow at me in question.

I blushed. “I am fine Chase.”

There was a pause. “I’m sure you are now.”

I could feel him smiling through the phone.

“Is there another reason you’re calling me?” Rafael asked.

“No, I just missed your sexy voice.” Chase chuckled. “Yes, and I’m now getting that ‘this is serious’ look, so dinner has been pushed back for a short bit because Prince Bastian is on his way over.”

Rafael picked up the phone and looked at it. “Where are we meeting?”

“Meeting room.” Chase said.

He tapped my arm so I would move, and we could sit up. “We’re bringing him to the palace?”

I sat up and looked around to see where my clothes might be.

“Yes. Fewer eyes on him here.” Chase said something else, but it was muffled.

Rafael nodded and swung his legs off the bed. “Yeah, staff is limited here, no chance of others finding out.” He stood up.

I sat there, clutching the sheet to my chest staring at him.

…don’t start thinking like that or we’ll never get out of this room…

My eyes snapped up to his face, my cheeks heated as he grinned at me. Smiling, I stood up, dropping the sheet. His gaze moved over me slowly.

“Brother?”

Rafael grimaced. “What?”

“I asked if you were on your way.” Chase sounded amused.

Rafael nodded. “Yes.” He tapped the phone and tossed it on the bed, then gave me a leering smile. “If it weren’t important, I’d have food sent here and skip dinner.”

“I’m starving now.” I told him, “and I have to feed Tawny…”

He picked up his pants. “Fine, but unless the realm is on fire, we’re coming right back here after dinner.”

My face felt hot again. “Okay.”