Tuesday, January 23
I fall from my bed as I violently fight against the blankets that I have wrapped around me. My ass hitting the floor jars my back badly sending waves of sharp pain through my back and legs, knocking the breath right out of me in the process. I immediately start into dry heaves as my body starts trying to rid itself of what little I managed to eat yesterday. I scramble on all fours, never making it to my feet, as I push myself to the bathroom before heaving dinner into the toilet. As I sit back against the tub I realize that not only am I in a serious panic attack but I’m starting into a bad asthma attack as well. I’m gasping for breath as my panic consumes me. It takes everything I have to keep myself sitting up but I know it’s not going to last as black spots litter my vision. I manage to check my watch and register in my mind that it’s midnight.
‘Great,’ I think to myself ‘still seven hours before someone finds me’ as I collapse into unconsciousness.
I wake gasping for breath two more times before I can get enough air into my lungs to move my body off the floor and into my bed. I stack the pillows against the wall so that I’m elevated as I wrap a blanket around my shoulders. I’m shivering hard from both fear and cold and for once I find myself longing for the patient kindness of the alpha I just met.
Never have I wished so hard for a phone and the number to someone so powerful yet I’m also terrified. Terrified that this will send me home early destroying any chances I have at getting into this pack. My first impression of every place I’ve gone is a powerful one. Despite my constant gasping for air and the painful throb in my chest I manage to drift to sleep again as it’s only 3am.
My alarm goes off at six and I know immediately that it’s going to be a rough day. My chest is painfully tight, barely letting me move any air through and I know that taking a shower is a no go. It takes all my energy just to walk to my closet for a clean shirt, then to my dresser for a pair of sweatpants, socks and boxers.
It’s a struggle to stay focused as my asthma attack has lowered my oxygen levels to a point where my mind is swimming with more negativity than usual. I would love nothing more than to stay in bed and pass back out.
I grab the key to my room as I stumble towards my shoes that are sitting beside my door. Steadying myself against the wall I open the door to my room and step out in time to see everyone starting to leave. Alpha Dominic must be leading the way as it’s Alpha Damian that spots me from the rear.
“Cole? Are you okay?”
As much as my brain is screaming at me to work through the attack, that it’s a weakness to admit that I can’t breathe, this attack is one of the worst that I’ve had in a while. I don’t believe that I can even talk right now.
I bow my head in submission towards him as I shake my head. I recognize that I’m in a dangerous cycle that only heavy sedation, steroids and nebulizer treatments will help with. In short, I need the hospital. I hear Damian’s footsteps before I feel his touch on my arm.
“Can you tell me what’s going on?”
Once again I shake my head as I physically can’t tell him.
“Come on.”
He encourages as he gently tugs at my arm. My anxiety is high enough that I yelp with the gentle gesture of help only it ends up coming out sounding more like a strangled dog.
“Okay, I may only be eighteen, but that doesn’t sound like a good thing.”
I shake my head, agreeing with his simple assessment.
“I need to get you to the pack house. You need to talk to dad and Dr. Pierce. I’m going to help you get there which means you’re going to feel me touching you. Is that ok?”
I nod my head this time as I know I would never be able to get there on my own. He takes my hand as I force myself off the wall and attempt to walk with him. He ends up slowing down quite a bit as I stumble repeatedly trying to keep up with him. We stop several times along the way but eventually we make it to the dining hall in time for Alpha Demetri to make his morning announcements.
“I see no one here seems to be ready for training today.”
He starts off sounding disappointed.
“This is your one time pass as it is a requirement that you show up to breakfast in a presentable manner ready for the day. It doesn’t matter what is scheduled for the day, whether it’s light training, heavy training, or your day off. I expect everyone in my pack, from my own four year old daughters to my omegas, to be dressed appropriately. Over half of you look like you just climbed out of bed.”
It’s as he speaks that I try to focus on the crowd and from what I can make out it does indeed look like most of them simply managed to throw a shirt and pair of pants on, not much better than what I’ve managed. Some even look exactly like they did when they got off the bus.
For a moment I make eye contact with the alpha but don’t keep it as I can feel that he’s studying me. I’m completely torn between begging for his help and running for the hills.
“After breakfast, Alpha Dominic and Alpha Damian will take you back to the training dorms where each of you will take a shower and get properly dressed. For the moment properly dressed will simply mean clean clothes, something Cole seems to have been able to achieve despite looking like complete hell.”
I look up to him again, causing him to smile gently when our eyes meet.
“You don’t look like you’re doing very well, are you?”
I shake my head as I drop it down again concentrating hard on my breathing.
“What’s wrong Cole? Meeting with the alpha got your asthma all screwed up. How the hell do you think you’re going to be a warrior if you can’t breathe right? No wonder he’s always in Alpha Redmen’s office.”
“Yeah, nothing but a weak link for the pack. Have you noticed how many times he goes into the training room for private lessons with his dad just to come out looking like hell. All bruised up like he didn't even try to fight.”
The entire group laughs as Dallas and Richard talk. If only they knew the truth I could only hope that it would no longer be a joking matter but dad tells everyone anything but the truth about me.
“Enough!”
Alpha Demetri bellows as I can feel his aura gaining strength causing me to whimper when it hits me.
“I do not tolerate bullying of any sort towards any member of any pack! Testing today will consist of running. Damian!”
“Yes sir?”
“Take these pups to the two mile track that surrounds the playground after breakfast.”
“Yes sir. Any specifics?”
“Yes. Grab a clipboard, pen and paper. Get Patrick, Parker and Celine to help. Number or color code the group, your choice. I want to know how quickly they can complete a ten mile run. Best out of four runs. Two after breakfast, Two after lunch. Make sure they stretch and get an hour break between each run for water and light snacks. I recommend eating lightly.”
The whole group groans in unison as Alpha Demetri gets a ‘yes sir’ from Alpha Damian confirming his order. Just as the alpha finishes an older lady starts walking towards the dining hall passing by Alpha Demetri.
“Good morning Kathy, may I borrow your stethoscope?”
I watch her reach into her scrubs and hand one to him.
“Everyone is dismissed” he calls as he jogs lightly over to me. I can’t help but tense up, whimpering lightly as he gets near. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this vulnerable. My chest is so tight I can barely walk so running or fighting is out of the question. When he gets to me he easily picks up on my reservations despite my desperate need for help. There is no way I can get out of this bad of an anxiety attack feeding my asthma attack cycle without medication.