Chapter 4 Of Demons and Hangovers
Kael's POV
Déjà vu is a pretty nasty bastard.
He fainted.
Again.
I stared down at the human sprawled across the floor, gripping my locks so tightly they might loosen. He looked like a crime-scene outline that forgot to finish itself.
“Fantastic,” I muttered, nudging him lightly with my boot just in case. “Three minutes into our glorious partnership, and my summoner’s already out cold. Truly, a symbol of strength and durability. Hell must be so proud.”
No response.
Obviously.
I sighed, loudly, and straightened, rubbing the back of my neck. Leftover pact energy still buzzed in the air, warm and sharp. The kind of power that flattened temples back in the old days.
Now it made the lights flicker.
Pathetic.
Oh, how the mighty have fallen. I suddenly understood the walls of Jericho on a spiritual level.
I glanced around the room. Same boring four walls. Same depressing human aesthetic. Dull colors. Broken furniture. Plants that looked like they wanted to die but were too polite to do it.
How comforting.
If that human didn’t move soon, I was going to redecorate this place like a blind, possessed three-year-old did it.
“Alright,” I said to no one, “what does a freshly summoned, newly freelanced demon do first?”
Silence.
Then something hummed in the kitchen.
I walked over, yanked open the glowing ice box -the famous fridge- and let the cold air hit my face.
“Well, well, well. Humans really are lazy magicians now.” I chuckled.
I picked up a can, squinting at the label. “Beer. Oh, this’ll end wonderfully.”
One flick, a crack, and I took a sip.
Bitter.
Foul.
I grimaced. “Ah yes, truely delightful. I see why humanity’s circling the drain.”
Tossing it aside, I looked back at the human, whose name I still did not know -embarrassingly- still unconscious, still breathing, still painfully fragile.
I crouched down and poked his cheek. “Hey. Summoner. You gonna stay like this all day, or do I need to draw a mustache on you?”
Still nothing.
I smirked. “I’ll take that as permission.”
Behind me, a glass rattled, pact energy crackling again, tiny sparks dancing in the air. I glanced back, narrowed my eyes, then shrugged.
“Right. Nothing ominous about that at all. Perfect. Now where was I?”
I stretched, wandered toward the large chair, and flopped onto it like I owned the place.
“Guess I’ll wait till Sleeping Beauty wakes up. Maybe then he can tell me what humans do for fun these days.”
As if on cue, he stirred, right where I dumped him. I wasn’t dragging him anywhere. Laziness is a lifestyle.
And finally, the corpse — stay with me here — moved.
Noah's POV
The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was the deadpan stare of the demon sitting comfortably on my couch while I lay on the floor.
My ears rang. My muscles ached. And he just watched, looking mildly entertained.
“You can help me, you know?” I muttered, struggling to sit up. My annoyance building.
“Nah.” He grinned. “I’d rather just sit here.”
I scoffed and finally dragged myself upright. I limped to the fridge for something to drink only to pause at the beer can on the floor, its contents spilled everywhere.
I glared at him and started slowly making my way over to him. “So, how do we do this? When will you heal my brother? How long will it take?”
“Woah, woah. Slow down.” He gestured lazily from the couch. “I’ll get to the healing right away, but I need to be in physical contact with your brother. And it’ll take a month or two for a full recovery.”
I froze. Then a smile broke across my face. Excitement building. Hope blooming. “Then let’s go.”
I grabbed my phone, already dialing. “I can call and ask if I can visit him…”
Silence.
I looked up. He was staring at me with an unreadable expression before shaking his head.
“We can’t go just yet.”
“Why?” I nearly screamed.
“Remember we have other issues.”
“And what would that be?”
“You’re supposed to be my guide. And you haven’t given me an identity or decided where I’m staying.”
I opened my mouth to argue… then shut it again.
He wasn’t wrong. I’d been too focused on Jamie. On saving my brother.
“Okay… you’ll stay here, with me. And your identity…” I paused. “Wait, I don’t even know your name.”
“Just call me Kael,” he said, still annoyingly relaxed.
“Okay, Kael. I’m Noah, you probably knew that already, being a demon and all.” I started pacing. “I can’t say you’re an ex-classmate. Jamie would scream bullshit. A friend might work. So you’re a foreign friend I met online who’s crashing here during vacation.”
“Sounds good to me.” Kael bounced off the couch, confident grin plastered across his face. “Let’s go heal that brother of yours.”
“You’re definitely not going anywhere dressed like that.” I deadpanned, looking him up and down.
He spread his arms wide. Confusion written across his face “What’s wrong with my drip?”
I stared at him. “First of all, drip? Seriously? don’t ever say that again. Second, you look like you stepped straight off Interview with the Vampire. You’re not blending in anywhere looking like that.” I said, giving him a very slow, very judgmental once-over.
Kael looked down at himself as if seeing his clothes for the first time. “Humans wore this last time I checked.”
“When was the last time you checked?”
“Uh… the 1800s?”
I blinked. “Right. So we’re getting you new clothes.”
He smirked like he’d just won something. “So we’re going shopping? With money you don’t have?”
“Don’t start,” I groaned.
“Oh, trust me,” he said, stepping closer, grin widening, “I fully intend to start.”
I rubbed my face. Hard. “ Remember if anyone asks you’re staying here and you’re my foreign friend visiting for… whatever.”
“Vacation,” he said proudly. “Yes. I am here to vacation. Heal your brother. Eat pizza. Learn slang.”
“God, please don’t learn slang.”
“Too late. Drip.”
I visibly died a little inside.
Kael clapped his hands together. “Alright, Noah! My dear summoner. My fragile companion. My fashion-challenged guide. Let us embark.”
“Embark where?”
He pointed dramatically at the door. “To fix my hideous human disguise. Obviously.”
I stared at him.
He stared back.
We both stood there in silence, the air somehow heavier with stupidity.
Finally, I sighed. “I can’t believe I’m about to take a demon to a clothing store.”
Kael beamed like I’d just handed him the keys to Earth. “Correct! And if anyone asks, I’m your mysterious hot friend.”
“Absolutely not.”
“Too late,” he said, already strutting toward the door like he’d been waiting centuries to annoy someone this consistently. “I’ve decided that’s my backstory.”
I grabbed my keys, my sanity hanging on by a thread.
Never in my wildest dreams did I think I’d be doing dress-up with a demon.
But here I am.
Such is life.
Such is my life.
And judging by the smug look Kael shot me over his shoulder,
this was only the beginning of my suffering.