Chapter 17: Chapter Seventeen

As promised, it doesn’t take Ascian too long to finish up outside with our unwelcome visitors. I can hardly bring myself to lift my head when he finally walks into the bedroom. His shirt is stained with dark liquid in one area on his sleeve, though he seems to be without injury, so I safely assume that the Fae blood belongs to another.

Ascian’s eyes lock onto mine and sigh, discarding his sword onto the table on his way to me. The battle doesn’t seem to have caused his mood to be dampened too much, though when he sees the pitiful state that I’m in, his eyes have a knowing shine to them. It’s not the first time that my monthly bleeding has taken me out like this, making me feel immobilized by pain.

Ascian strides over to me effortlessly, peeling his soiled shirt off and discarding it on the floor. “My poor Bela,” He coos, reaching to pick me up from beneath the covers. He slides into my spot and settles me beside him so that he can see my face, making sure that the bedding is tucked in nicely around my body. “What timing she has this cycle.”

The light hurts my head too much, so I keep them closed and bury my head into the crook of Ascian’s elbow. I moan pathetically. “Did you win?”

He chuckles into my hair, reaching to pat my head with a gentle stroke. “Of course, we did.”

“Who was it?” I mumble against his cool skin, relishing the way it feels on my forehead.

His voice rumbles in my ear that I have pressed against his chest, bringing me comfort. “My brother’s men. Even though he lost the throne, he does still have some loyal Fae that are angry at us for costing Vespertine his position.”

I move my head enough to look at him. “Vespertine has followers still?”

Ascian presses his lips into a line as he gazes out the window as if he could see the bodies that litter the grass below. “Yes. I have a feeling that these four will not be the last angry mob at our door.”

I was under the impression that everyone despised the previous prince as much as Ascian and I did, considering how quickly the party turned into a massacre at the air of weakness. I suppose that anyone with power will have some people willing to fight for them, and last night’s savages were mostly circumstantial. If the prince hadn’t lost his wits about me teasing him, then no one would have attacked him for his crown. At the thought of the bloodbath, the thought of Cosimo rises again, bringing anger and guilt with it. I never should have trusted him with my wishes, yes, though I know that he was also just doing what he needed to in order to survive.

I wonder what comes of a human that is left without a Master in this place. I can imagine nothing good.

Another cramp hits me, making me suck in a breath with a whimper. “What will you do?”

“What else is there to do?” He ponders, adjusting the blankets around me as I snuggle deeper for warmth. The heat from the hot water bottle that Aita brought me helps, though the pain is still immobilizing. “My wife is ill. All that I can do is wait for you to feel well again before taking action. For the time being, I will defend my home.”

I groan, clinging to the water bottle beneath the blanket. “I wish this didn’t happen. If I only had some medicine, I would be fine. I don’t want to hold you back.”

Ascian presses his lips against my head as he speaks, reaching to lightly drag his nails across my back, making bumps rise on my skin. “I can either guard you and our home or fetch you some medication. I cannot do both, my love.”

That’s right; Ascian is the only one on this estate who has the ability to travel between realms. There are certain Fae who will do it for money, but they have to be called upon by the head of the house. If Ascian is preoccupied with tending to me and fending off attackers, then he cannot do both, as he stated. Even if he left my care to Aita, there would be no one strong enough to protect the estate from invaders, and Ascian would not trust anyone to watch over me, anyway.

“However,” he suggests, his lips brushing against my ear as he speaks. “There is another way to relieve your pain.”

I swallow, getting the feeling that I already know what he is about to say. His saliva is formulated with healing properties, similar to a wolf, but it works immediately rather than taking weeks or months to be effective. It is only effective on humans, I’ve realized, and not other Fae or animals.

“Uh, no thanks,” I say, my voice coming out more urgent than I would have liked, attesting to my discomfort at the insinuation of what he would be putting in his mouth. “That’s disgusting. And dirty.”

Ascian shrugs his shoulder as if he was suggesting nothing more than an embrace. “We will have to christen our marriage at some point, Bela.”

I feel my face heat at the mention of it, having hoped that I would be able to forget about that for a little while longer. “I know,” I squeak, pressing my face even further into his armpit. The thought of Ascian holding me in that way makes me cringe internally. If his chest is this solid, I can’t imagine how other parts of him would feel. It makes my insides twitch painfully.

“We will take it slowly, do not worry. I can hear your heartbeat, my dear. It sounds lovely,” He purrs. I have to resist the urge to shove him away from me, though I know that I lack the strength to do that on a good day.

I ball my hands into fists around the comforter, gritting my teeth together as I try and fail to turn my mind towards something else. “How- how does that even work?” I ask quietly, hating how small my voice sounds in my ears.

Ascian chuckles, raising my blood pressure by the millisecond. “The same way as humans do it, I suppose. You do know how babies are conceived, right?”

“How would I know that?” I snap, pulling away just enough to look at him. “It isn’t as if I had anyone to teach me these things. Any information that I got as a seven-year-old in the human realm wasn’t exactly trustworthy.” I know that my tone comes out defensive, but Ascian doesn’t seem to take offense.

“That is true. Fret not, I will teach you everything first-hand,” He says this so unabashedly and matter of factly that I could scream in frustration. I take back what I thought about him showing signs of emotional intelligence earlier. He clearly does not care or even acknowledge how embarrassing this topic is to discuss.

Ascian lifts my chin, forcing me to look at him. His eyes scan my face with curiosity, like a raven analyzing a crumb. “Why is your face so red? You are my wife. This is not an embarrassing topic to discuss together.”

I press my lips together and jut my chin out. “I know. Until this point, though, I’ve never looked at you in such a way. You have always been my caregiver, as a parent figure. It will take some time for me to grow used to this,” I admit, finding it hard to hold his gaze.

He seems to have no trouble with it, however, peering into my very soul. “Is that so? I have never looked at you as my child.”

I furrow my brow. “How have you viewed me then?”

Now my confusion is reflected in his features. It seems like he senses that he has already said too much on the topic, so he makes an attempt to bring the conversation to a close. “You have always been my precious girl. I would never see you as anything else.”

Of course, his response leaves me feeling as unsatisfied as ever. I am about to open my mouth to say so, when another series of cramps stabs at my abdomen, spreading sharp pain throughout my lower half. This time, there is no concealing my pain as I suck in my breath with a groan, curling into a tight ball again. It takes so long for this one to pass, that by the end of it I think I might throw up.

Ascian watches silently, examining me closely. As a creature that is so used to pain, I have no doubt that this looks incredible to him. Agony is the same as breathing for someone like him, so whenever it is inflicted upon him, he hardly notices. Seeing me struggle to breathe over something that happens to my body naturally must be fascinating through his eyes.

Once I’m able to form a sentence again, I don’t hesitate. I don’t want t to be the one holding us back from progressing without a plan. “Take my pain away.”