Chapter 34 Chapter 34
Amber
The airport was bustling with movement, voices blending into an overwhelming hum around me. People hurried past with rolling suitcases, flight announcements crackled over the intercom, and the air smelled of coffee, metal, and distant jet fuel. But I barely noticed any of it.
All I could focus on was the weight in my chest.
I gripped Evalie tighter in my arms, pressing my lips against the soft tufts of blonde hair atop her tiny head. She smelled like baby powder and warmth, like home.
My home.
I wasn't ready to say goodbye.
"Amber," Ichika’s voice was gentle but firm. "You need to board soon."
I shook my head, holding Evalie closer. "I don’t know if I can do this."
Ken sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Sweetheart, you’ve worked so hard for this moment. We know it’s hard, but you’re doing this for her too."
I swallowed the lump in my throat and looked down at my daughter. Evalie blinked up at me with those striking green eyes—Rayne’s eyes—but they were softer on her, innocent.
She cooed, gripping the fabric of my sweater in her tiny fist.
Tears burned my eyes. "She’s so small," I whispered. "What if she forgets me?"
"She won’t," Ichika assured me, reaching out to gently stroke Evalie’s cheek. "She’ll hear your voice every day, see your face on video calls. And when you come back, she’ll know exactly who you are."
I sucked in a shaky breath. My arms refused to let go.
Ichika stepped forward, carefully wrapping her hands around Evalie. My grip tightened instinctively.
"Amber," Ichika murmured, her eyes filled with understanding. "I promise, I will take care of her. She will be loved, protected, and given everything she needs. You’re not leaving her forever. You’re just going away to build a future for both of you."
My throat closed up, but I forced myself to nod.
Slowly, I let Ichika take Evalie from my arms.
The moment she was no longer in my grasp, an unbearable ache settled in my chest, like a piece of me had been ripped away.
Evalie squirmed in Ichika’s hold, her small lips puckering as if she sensed something was wrong.
She started to fuss.
I stepped forward on instinct, but Ken caught my shoulders. "Amber," he said softly. "It’s okay."
Evalie let out a tiny whimper, reaching her hands toward me.
My resolve cracked. "Maybe I should stay," I said suddenly. "Just for a little while longer. Just until she—"
"Amber," Ichika cut me off, her tone gentle but firm. "You’ve made your decision. And it was the right one. Don’t second-guess yourself now."
But I was second-guessing myself.
What kind of mother leaves her baby behind?
“You’re not leaving her forever,” Irma reminded me softly in my mind.
I clenched my fists. "She needs me," I whispered.
Irma’s presence swelled inside me, her voice warm and steady. “And she will have you. Just not right now. But when you come back, you’ll be everything she deserves. This is for her, remember?”
I closed my eyes, inhaling deeply.
Yes. This was for her.
For Evalie.
For our future.
I opened my eyes and met Ichika’s gaze. "You’ll send me pictures every day?"
"Every single day," she promised.
Ken stepped forward, wrapping me in a tight hug. "We’re so proud of you, kiddo."
I gripped his back, blinking rapidly to keep the tears from falling. "Thank you. For everything."
Ichika joined the hug, squeezing me tightly. "You’ve got this, Amber. You’re going to do amazing things."
The final boarding call for my flight echoed through the airport speakers.
My stomach twisted painfully.
This was it.
I turned back to Evalie one last time. She was settled in Ichika’s arms now, sucking on her tiny fingers, blissfully unaware of how much my heart was breaking.
I kissed her forehead, my lips lingering against her warm skin.
"I love you, baby," I whispered. "Mommy will be back before you know it."
I forced myself to step back.
Ichika gave me a reassuring nod. Ken shot me a thumbs-up.
With trembling hands, I grabbed my suitcase and turned toward the gate.
I didn’t look back.
I couldn’t.
I hurried through the gate and into the plane.
The hum of the aircraft engines filled the cabin as I settled into my seat.
Around me, passengers chatted quietly, flipping through magazines or adjusting their seatbelts. The air hostess’s voice came over the intercom, instructing everyone to fasten their seatbelts and prepare for takeoff.
I barely heard her.
My chest ached.
I stared out the window, my fingers gripping the armrest. The airport runway blurred as the plane began to move.
Tears welled in my eyes, and this time, I didn’t stop them.
I had made the right choice. I knew I had.
But that didn’t make it hurt any less.
I wiped my eyes and took a shaky breath.
"I’ll make you proud, Evalie," I whispered.
I had left the people I loved behind but I would make them proud. I swear it.
Finally, the plane lifted off the ground, carrying me towards my future.