19
Amira.
“You are already strong, Jane. You have fought with the strongest pack warrior, and you have won,” I muttered. My voice cracked with how much I believed this. “You’ve proven yourself a hundred times over. Please take a break from this everyday training, and stop punishing yourself like this.”
“I don’t think so. What if I meet a stronger one? One that is stronger than my current self? Someone who can break me as easily as he did with words? Then what should I do? Should I wait and get myself killed? Should I let myself be destroyed again? I understand you, Amira,” she uttered.
“I know you’re looking out for me, Amira. But I want you to try to understand me as well. If I don’t train, I will get killed by a powerful enemy. If I don’t become unbreakable, the next person who wants to hurt me will win.”
Her reason was reasonable, but it was built on fear that broke my heart. I could see it now. She wasn’t training to become stronger. She was training to become immune to pain.
She was trying to turn herself into something that couldn’t be hurt, couldn’t be rejected, couldn’t be made to feel small ever again. I didn’t want to lose my sister and friend.
Ever since she came across her mate at the club, she had changed; she had changed into a new person, and I blamed myself for this. I had caused all this.
I was losing her in the process. The girl who used to make everything brighter just by being there was disappearing into the warrior she was creating, and I didn’t know how to bring her back.
I shouldn’t have forced her to go to the club. Something occurred to me. Yes, Jane had suddenly changed. Had that mate of hers said something more wrong to her at the club?
Had he insulted her again? She had only briefed me, not letting me in on all the details. What had he said to her? What poison had he poured into her ears that changed her?
“Jane, tell me the truth. What did he do to you the last time you saw your mate at the club?” I asked. “Did he say something hurtful? What did he say that you haven’t told me?”
Shock flashed instantly and raw across Jane’s face. She stood there, looking at me without uttering a single word. I could see her pulling away from me behind those walls again, even though neither of us moved.
“Amira, whatever my mate told me that day pushed me to be strong. It made me who I am now. I don’t want to talk about it,” she grumbled. “I don’t want to keep thinking about him. I’m sorry. Can we stop talking about him, please?”
The begging in her voice destroyed me. What could I do but accept her decision? What choice did I have but to watch her suffer in silence?
“Okay, Jane,” I said. “I respect your decision. I’m sorry for asking too much.”
“I didn’t mean it that way, Amira,” she replied. “You’re not pushing or asking too much. I just don’t want to keep remembering that asshole of a mate. I’m sorry if I sounded rude.”
She reached out as if to touch me but let her hand fall.
“You’re not pushing too much. I just... I can’t keep remembering that monster. I’m sorry if I sounded harsh.”
It had been a week since I had seen Jane. Since I had really seen her, not just caught quick glimpses of her hurrying between training and pack duties. She was always busy with her training and the pack stuff. Ella was always there with me. We talked and played together.
Ella tried to fill the silence with talking and laughter, and I loved her for it. But there was a Jane-shaped hole in everything we did. Nothing had been the same since Jane had stopped socializing with us, even though we had been friends before Jane had come into the picture.
“Amira, I think we should go see Jane,” Ella suggested. “I miss her.”
“Do you think she’s going to welcome us?” I implored. “You know, she is trying her best to be strong, and it would be better not to disturb her. She’s trying so hard to become this version of herself that she thinks will keep her safe. Let her be, and let’s support our friend by not disturbing her. Maybe the kindest thing we can do is give her space to figure it out.”
“Okay, I understand,” she muttered gently. “So baby girl, let’s hit the town.”
I liked Ella. She was always in a good mood and was a free-spirited girl. I watched Ella become her happy self again, and I was grateful for how strong she was. She could find joy even when our little group felt broken.
I wished everyone could be like her. She had zero worries. She was sunshine in human form, with no worries and endless hope. When I looked at her, I could almost believe that good things still happened to good people.
I prayed the Moon Goddess provided her with a good and caring mate. A mate who she would forever be happy with.
I hoped the Moon Goddess saw Ella’s pure heart and gave her a mate who deserved her light.
Someone who would treasure her laughter, protect her happiness, and never make her feel like she needed to become someone else to be loved.
Because if the Goddess couldn’t do that for Ella, if even someone as pure as Ella ended up broken and training herself into numbness, then maybe love really was just another word for pain that was coming.
And I didn’t think any of us could survive that truth.