Chapter 40

She sucked in breath, shocked at what he had just told her now. The remorse just came in like a wave. She looked away from him to avoid him from seeing her tears falling. All this time she has been nothing but unkind and cruel to this sad man that wanted nothing but to be loved in return. She hated him for something he didn’t do. She misjudged him and didn’t even give him the chance to explain himself at the first place. He has been through shit and she had just made his life even worser with her unkind manners.

She hears his soft chuckle and it echoed in her head down to her stomach. She clenched her tummy when it churned with a new feeling she has never felt before. She wiped away the tears and looked at him. He smiled at her—through the pain.

“I act like I don’t care. Like nothing can hurt me. I put up this big wall of toughness and pretend everything is fine. Like I don’t need somebody’s ‘affection’ but in reality, I think I’m just too scared. Scared of not being good enough. Scared of not finding someone as half good as she was. Scared of getting hurt. Or maybe afraid. Afraid of the possibility of being loved by someone that I fear they’ll eventually let me down. Afraid that my heart would break into a million pieces because I gave my all to someone who promised they wouldn’t hurt me.”

She took her eyes off him for a moment and looked down to her feet. She had never been so embarrassed and felt guilt in her life like she felt now. She couldn’t even look him in the eye anymore. It made her hate herself more for the way he still sticked with her despite how she shunned him too many times. The way she felt about him now had completely changed but she doubts if it could ever beat the way she felt for Ethan.

She felt his strong hands against her shoulders. He drew her close to him, making her to look into his brown eyes—she got completely lost in them. He’s staring at her with a level of need that she didn’t know she was capable of producing in someone. He cups her face in his warm palms and she couldn’t resist how soft his hands were. She closed her eyes for a second and opened it. Releasing some of the agony she was feeling.

“I didn’t tell you all this just so could feel sorry for me. And it also doesn’t mean that I’m trying to manipulate you into saying yes to me. I told you everything because it’s high time I tell you my story… I’m a broken man, Elise. I’ve been broken ever since I lost them. I didn’t know Alpha Burton had a daughter till after the incident. It wasn’t love at first sight when I first saw you. My love for you gradually formed, your personality, your voice, your hair, your eyes, you humor, how strong and independent you are—gradually, it all came clear to me you were exactly what I was looking for after so long of being with nobody.”  His deep voice was magnetic to the core of who she was, as if he’s able to resonate with all of her when others can barely achieve a fraction of it.

She closed her eyes relishing the feeling of his soft palms against her cheeks. She breathes out softly as thoughts raced through her head. Thoughts of what it would be like being with him. Thoughts of how he’d hug her in his arms and protect her…

It felt so right at the wrong time. She shakes her head adamantly and he knew what it meant. He gently let go of her face and stepped back. “I still love him,” she murmured under her breath but he heard her.

She saw the pain and disappointment in his eyes when she told him that. He smiled through it and nod his head.

Before things got more awkward, he offered to take her home. They walked most of the way to her pack in complete silence. Not an uncomfortable silence in any way. They were both quiet because neither of them was ready to say goodbye despite what she had told him.

They arrived at the gates and he halts to face her. She looks at him, waiting to hear what he has to say.

He lets out a shaky breath as he shoved his hands in his pocket. He was nervous. Why was he nervous? She has never seen this side of Hunter. It all felt surreal.

“Thank you… for listening to me,” he said softly, his eyes searching hers. She smiled and slightly nodded.

“I think I hate you less now.”