Chapter 38: the burst bubble

Long after Ian was gone on his two-day trip, his words and thoughts played on my mind. The weight of uncertainty and heavier emotions kicked in as I tossed and turned on the bed, trying to catch up on some sleep.

Ian being Ian, kept me awake until dawn when it was time for him to leave. The sandalwood and citrus notes of his perfume lingered in the air and on my body. The way those stormy grey eyes looked at me one last time, sucking me in before he kissed goodbye.

He was a completely different person with me as opposed to the rest of the world. I watched him put his mask of indifference back on that gorgeous face as he walked out of my room and nodded to the guards. That tender, vulnerable side of him was instantly replaced with dominance and confidence. His strong voice was void of any emotion except for the firm authority that had taken over.

It took all of my willpower to not call his name and hold him from the back to stop him from leaving. The desperation to be with him was unbearable. If someone had told me right now that this separation was not just for a couple of days or months, I would have probably called them jealous or insane.

"So you guys just fucked, ate a ton of food, fucked some more, had some deep conversations that led to more fucking?"

Julia summarized the most fantastic days of my life in the worst way possible.

"You could put it that way, I guess." I shrugged.

I was beyond happy but not really in a mood to share my happiness because she wouldn't understand. She might get annoyed with my nonstop yapping or burst my bubble with her pessimism. After all, she was Ian's favorite, and my existence these days directly affected her earnings.

Come to think of it, Ian actually had a type. Julia and Caty both had medium length wavy blonde hair, porcelain skin, high cheekbones, and a slender figure. Even Bella! They were all bold and sophisticated, with attractive personalities in and out.

I was the opposite in looks. I had a long dark mane that looked wild most of the time, a curvy body, and tanned skin. Ian said I was strong-willed like it was a good thing. But I got shit from my mother all my life for the same quality. 'Setting myself up for failure' was the phrase she used most often about me.

Ian didn't just make me feel loved. He made me feel more confident about myself and embracing my quirks. Usually, in his absence, I had no desire to dress up or eat. But after spending a week with him, I picked a quality from him, to always take care of myself and feel good about myself.

Julia and I walked to the courtesan quarters once I showered and dressed up. It was a lovely sunny day, and I was clueless about the impending doom.

As we neared the common room to eat, a gut-wrenching cry baffled me and Julia.

"Lydia?"

We ran toward my old room. What was she doing here? Her wedding date was set for the first day of summer, and she had been having the time of her life eating out, going on dates with Mason, and doing everything a lady of noble birth was forbidden to do before getting married.

My mother and aunt were trying to hold Lydia in place as she screamed and thrashed. Her condition brought tears into my eyes even before I found out what happened. Lydia was one of the most positive and cheerful people I ever saw.

She freed herself from their hold the minute she saw me and ran into my arms crying.

"They killed him. I saw him die right in front of my eyes."

"Who killed who?"

My heart sank to the floor.

"Mason got shot early this morning when he was returning to Lydia's place with her." My aunt explained. My mother pressed on her eyebrows with her fingers.

"Who shot him?"

"Some drunken muggers, we think."

I was speechless. Even a million words of comfort would not bring him back. Lydia has been so strong for so many years. We both cried when I failed to console her.

"The Queen wants to see you." Holly was at the door to get me.

"Please send my apologies to---" My mother interrupted me and talked to Holly.

"She will be right there."

"What are you doing? Go meet her, now! You cannot make her wait."

"I will be right back." I kissed Lydia's forehead and wiped my tears.

The Queen and Prince Stephen's Mistress, Charlotte, were seated in a secluded garden area having brunch. Did she meet with all the mistresses regularly or what? I had a bad feeling about this, although the Queen feigned a smile when she looked at me approaching them.

I did a small curtsy to her, and she offered me her hand for a brief, gentle handshake, which was very suspicious.

"Hello, Your Majesty. I am honored to be summoned."

I took a seat next to Charlotte after she signaled me to.

"I assume that you two have met already," she asked.

"A couple of times," Charlotte spoke while I was wondering what this was about.

"I would like you two to become friends. It will greatly help you with the transition, Nadia."

I nodded in confusion. What transition? It has already been over a fortnight that Ian made me his mistress.

"Charlotte also had trouble at first, but she never gave us any trouble. I hope the same with you."

"Er..."

"If my sons want to keep you lovely ladies close by, who are we to object?"

When the hell was she going to cut to the chase? As an answer, Bella appeared, looking all disappointed.

"Nothing?" The Queen asked her in frustration.

Bella sighed and sat down after shaking her head in despair. These two acted pretty close, more like close friends who didn't need words to communicate.

"How was the joy trip, Nadia?" Bella asked me once she put on her usual fake smile she did every time she saw me.

I probably turned red with blush despite not wanting to. Ian's mention, direct or indirect, did this to me.

All traces of smile were removed from her face for a couple of beats before she composed herself. She looked at the Queen as if she did not want to do the talking. But there was something they wanted to say to me.

Charlotte looked at me with indifference when I gazed at her for a clue. Well, I was starving. If they were going to carry on with their pretensions, I might as well eat those mouthwateringly good peach tartlets while they were at it.

I made myself some tea and bit into the sugary goodness, ignoring their existence. The Queen cleared her throat impatiently and finally spoke.

"Bella here wants to make a request to you but is hesitant. So let me do it for her. I am sure Ian told you about his time with Bella."

I froze. As a matter of fact, we never brought it up when we were together. I deliberately pushed her thoughts away, and he never mentioned her name even once.

I looked at them in puzzlement, bracing myself for the news of an upcoming betrothal.

"It appears that he didn't muster the courage to break it to you. He is not perfect. He is anything but perfect."

"Break... it? To me?"

Bella spoke with bitterness in her voice, "Ian loves you, Nadia. As hard as it is for me to share him with you, I have made peace with the fact. I have been very accommodating so far whenever he wanted to spend time with you instead of me. But I cannot give him an heir if you keep all of him to yourself."

"An heir?" Does she mean an illegitimate child? How could she give him an heir when they weren't related?

"I gather that my son did not care to tell you about the quiet wedding either?"

My entire world came crashing down along with the teacup I was holding. I looked at their faces in absolute horror and disbelief.

"W-what?" I stood up from the chair as waves of fury rolled off my body.

"You heard it right, Nadia. You are sitting with the Duchess."

"This can't be." I tried to blink away my tears.

"It would have been much easier if he broke it to you, of course. But I guess he wanted to protect you from the truth and hurt." The Queen spoke with a hint of sarcasm.

"I wouldn't have bothered with the truth either if you weren't coming in my way," Bella's words spat venom.

So Bella was still here because she was married to him? That old man at Mountbatten thought I was the Duchess because Ian went through a secret wedding that these venomous women were claiming about?

I struggled to focus. My head went spinning and throbbing with the onslaught of so many churning thoughts and emotions. My knees turned weak, and I plopped back into the chair.

"Ian would never lie to me about something so big," I spoke in a weak voice. I wasn't sure about it anymore.

"You are right, my dear. He wouldn't. Hiding the truth to protect you is not the same as lying though. Besides, he has to keep it a secret for his own safety as well. If Damian catches a whiff of how Stephen and Ian are getting more and more powerful with their holdings, he would get insecure before the time is right."

I knew from old nana that no one in the royal family wanted Damian to be the king. They all were afraid of his twisted nature. If they had to choose, they would always choose Stephen or Ian over him in a heartbeat. But were Stephen and Ian in this together?

"Stephen loves Charlotte as much as Ian loves you. He gave in to every whim of hers. And Charlotte let him sire a child with his wife without causing trouble. Coming to the point, Ian could spend only four nights with Bella, and apparently, she is not pregnan--."

Bella cut her off in an angry voice, "It is too early to say that!"

"Ian slept with you?" That's bullshit!

"How else are babies made?" All three women laughed at the Queen's joke.

"We will let you mull this information while he is away, and we expect you to be cooperative without keeping him all to yourself."

"We better move indoors. Rain clouds are here." Bella got up once she decided her job was done.

Words failed me when I tried to stop them and argue. Black spots clouded my vision and a bout of nausea took over.

I remained frozen in the chair long after everyone left.