Chapter 20
Sophie had kissed Alexander a thousand times before.
Soft, lingering kisses in the dim glow of his old apartment, the scent of coffee and ambition wrapped around them. Breathless, desperate kisses in the backseat of cabs, in elevators, in the quiet corners of offices where they shouldn’t have been. Slow, teasing kisses that turned into something deeper, something dangerous, something that had always felt inevitable.
But this—this was different.
Because this wasn’t a kiss stolen between late-night meetings.
This wasn’t the promise of a future they had once believed was certain.
This was three years of longing, of pain, of love buried so deep it was only now clawing its way back to the surface.
Alexander’s hands tightened around her waist, holding her like he was afraid she might disappear again. Like if he let go, she would slip between his fingers, and he wouldn’t survive it a second time.
And maybe he wouldn’t.
Maybe she wouldn’t.
Sophie’s fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him closer, needing him closer.
His lips moved against hers with something hungry, something reckless, something that told her he was done pretending, done holding back.
He kissed her like he was trying to erase every second of the last three years.
And for the first time in a long time, she let herself believe that maybe—just maybe—they could.
Maybe this was how it was always meant to be.
Maybe this was home.
Then—
A soft sound broke through the moment.
A sleepy little sigh.
Sophie froze.
Alexander went still, his forehead still resting against hers, their breaths mingling.
Then—
A tiny voice.
“Mama?”
Sophie’s heart stopped beating altogether.
She turned her head slowly, her pulse roaring in her ears.
Ethan stood in the hallway, his tiny feet bare against the wooden floor, his T-Rex clutched tightly in one hand. His curls were tousled, his little face still flushed with sleep.
And he was watching them.
Sophie’s breath hitched.
Alexander tensed against her, his entire body locking up.
Because this was it.
This was the moment.
The one that changed everything.
Sophie forced herself to breathe, to push away the whirlwind of emotions, to remember that no matter what had just happened—Ethan came first.
Always.
She stepped forward carefully, crouching to Ethan’s level. “Hey, sweetheart. Did we wake you?”
Ethan rubbed his eyes, shaking his head. “No.”
Then—
With pure, innocent curiosity—
“Why were you kissing Xander?”
Sophie stopped breathing.
Behind her, she felt Alexander’s entire body go rigid.
She opened her mouth—then closed it again.
Because what could she possibly say?
How could she explain something she barely understood herself?
Sophie swallowed hard, searching for the right words. “Sometimes… grown-ups—”
“I like it,” Ethan interrupted.
Sophie blinked.
“What?”
Ethan beamed. “I like it when you and Xander are happy.”
Sophie’s heart shattered into a thousand tiny pieces.
She wasn’t sure if it was the sweetness in his voice.
Or the certainty.
Or the fact that, in his little world, things were that simple.
That love was just… love.
Ethan yawned, rubbing his eyes again. “Can I sleep with you, Mama?”
Sophie let out a slow, shaky breath. “Of course, sweetheart.”
She scooped him up, his tiny arms wrapping around her neck, his weight sinking into her like he belonged there.
Like he had been waiting for this moment, too.
Sophie turned, hesitating only briefly before glancing at Alexander.
His green eyes burned into hers, unreadable, unspoken words tangled between them.
Then, softly—
“I’ll see you in the morning.”
Sophie nodded once, then disappeared down the hallway, Ethan’s quiet breaths warm against her skin.
She didn’t look back.
Because if she did—
If she saw the way Alexander was still watching her, still feeling her—
She might never make it to the bedroom at all.
—
Sophie barely slept that night.
She lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, Ethan curled up beside her, his small fingers still clutching his dinosaur.
But all she could think about was Alexander.
The way he had kissed her.
The way he had looked at her when she pulled away.
The way he had let her go—just for tonight.
She didn’t know what came next.
Didn’t know how to fix the past.
Didn’t know if they could ever be whole again.
But she knew one thing.
She wasn’t running this time.
She wasn’t hiding.
And that was the most terrifying thing of all.
—
The next morning, Sophie woke to the sound of laughter.
Deep, warm laughter.
She blinked, groggy, her mind still caught somewhere between sleep and reality.
Then—
Ethan’s voice.
“Xander, do it again!”
Sophie sat up too quickly, her heart pounding.
She turned her head just in time to see Alexander standing in the kitchen, flipping pancakes with one hand while balancing Ethan on his hip with the other.
And Ethan—
Ethan was beaming.
Sophie’s breath caught in her throat.
Because this—this wasn’t supposed to happen so easily.
But it had.
Like Alexander had always belonged there.
Like he had never left at all.
Ethan giggled as Alexander made a dramatic show of flipping another pancake. “You’re funny, Xander.”
Alexander smirked. “You just figured that out?”
Ethan nodded. “Yeah. I think I like you.”
Sophie felt Alexander stop breathing.
His back straightened, his grip on Ethan tightening slightly.
Then—
With a voice so soft Sophie barely heard it—
“You do?”
Ethan nodded, his little arms wrapping around Alexander’s neck. “Yeah.”
Alexander’s eyes burned, his jaw tightening.
Then, slowly—
He pressed a gentle kiss to Ethan’s curls. “I think I like you too, buddy.”
Sophie’s chest ached.
She swallowed against the lump in her throat, stepping into the kitchen.
Alexander’s gaze snapped to hers immediately, something raw and undeniable in his expression.
She tried to ignore the way it made her feel.
The way it made her want him.
Want this.
Want everything.
She cleared her throat, forcing herself to keep it light. “Since when do you know how to make pancakes?”
Alexander smirked, still holding Ethan effortlessly. “Since about twenty minutes ago.”
Sophie raised an eyebrow. “You’re improvising?”
Alexander shrugged, flipping another pancake. “You taught me well.”
Her heart skipped a beat.
Because she had.
Years ago.
When they had still been them.
She swallowed hard. “Is that so?”
Alexander’s gaze burned into hers, something dangerous flickering in his eyes.
“Yeah,” he murmured. “I learn fast.”
Sophie’s breath hitched.