Chapter 12 She is not my business.
Dahlia.
Just as I took another step up, heading towards my room, my father called out, and my movements faltered.
What now? He had already said so much. He had already disappointed me, what more was there to say?
" Sofia is pregnant " He revealed, and out of reflex, I turned, a little too fast that I nearly fell. Luckily, the staircase railings held me in place, the icy steel biting into my skin, but that sensation wasn't enough to jolt my heart.
For a moment, my heart went still, not beating, not humming, just cold and unfeeling.
Whether it was from disappointment or surprise, I honestly couldn't tell. I felt a lot of things, from anger, to disbelief and humiliation, all burned within me in fierce intensity and I couldn't identify one.
" Sofia is pregnant. " In my dazed state, I repeated those words, over and over, and each time, a bitter taste rose to my throat.
Yes. I was already over Jason, and in my heart, he no longer held a candle, but the news of Sofia's pregnancy had caught me by surprise, shoving me into a place worse than where his betrayal had landed me.
It felt like forever when I finally came back to my senses and a sneer found its way to my lips.
Jason. He really knew how to humiliate me even without investing effort, didn't he?
I had loved him for ten years. In those ten years, I had actively fantasised about the day I became his woman.
In those years, I had dreamed about him, about the day that he finally took my first.
I had preserved myself, for him. I had wanted my first to be claimed by him. And when he finally proposed, I had been so thrilled that I lost my senses.
It was on his birthday, and on that particular day, unlike the other years when I used to carefully buy him a birthday gift, I had opted not to.
I had been the birthday gift, after all, and my virginity had been the prize, wrapped in quiet desperation, in years of yearning, of dreaming.
I had googled online, gone for a full body waxing, enduring the soul-wrenching pain as if I was being paid to. I had bought clothes from a popular online store. A matching lingerie set, and a hot red dress, seductive and inviting.
I had been so ready to offer myself to him. I had waited for everyone to go to bed before I sneaked into his room, my heart pulsating with anticipation, my nerves frying, and yet, something intense burned through me, the need to be taken by the man I had loved for so long.
Heavens, I couldn't even count the number of times I had fantasised about him, touching me, kissing, and now that we were officially a couple, I hadn't seen the need to wait.
When I opened the door, multiple scenarios were playing in my mind... I imagined him stunned silly, too enchanted to react, and too impatient to wait.
I had, in my thoughts, seen him tear my red dress into shreds with impatience. I had seen him spanking my back as he ordered me to stay in position, and I had imagined how my body would react, in quiet submission, in total surrender, and yet, nothing had prepared me for the actual reality.
' Jason. ' I had called, softly, my voice trembling with anticipation, but in the next second, his stern gaze had me freezing in space, too embarrassed to take another step forward.
'Why are you dressed so scantily?' He had asked, his nose crouched up in disapproval.
' That dress is too revealing. What are you, a whore?' He had questioned, angrily. My face had burned with shame, with humiliation.
' There is something called self-respect, Dahlia. Maybe you should do your research, because it seems to lack in you. Don't dress like that again if you still want to be Mrs Riggs in the future.' He had added, dismissively.
' You didn't give me a birthday present. What's up with you?' As if he had just recalled, he had asked, his brows furrowed in confusion.
' I am the birthday present. ' I had wanted to say, but after his earlier outburst, I had lacked the courage to say it.
But I was already there. So, I had bitten my lower lip, so hard that I tasted metal as I expressed.
' We grew up with you. When did you become so brazen?'
' Do you know something called dignity, Dahlia? Why are you offering yourself to me? We aren't even married yet, and you can't wait to spread your legs for me. You are such a disappointment.' He had berated, his tone coated with disbelief.
My whole body had been hot with shame as I stood under his stare... My carefully crafted surprise had turned into a bitter exchange.
'Some things are done after the wedding. We will do it on our first night. If there is nothing else, go to sleep.' He had added, dismissively.
Back then, everything had felt wrong, his words, his attitude, but the fool in me had interpreted his words as care.
He didn't want to take me before he fully committed. He didn't want to turn me into a plaything... I had consoled myself, and the next day itself, I had worn a ridiculously long dress as I apologised for my previous actions. I had even prepared another birthday gift for him.
He had then nodded his head in approval.
Mentally, I had praised him for his morality, integrity, and decency.
And now, to hear that Sofia was pregnant, and that too, Jason was the father? To say I was humiliated was actually an understatement.
My skin crawled, and my eyes burned with unshed tear.
I felt like air had been punched out of my lungs, and I struggled to breathe.
It turned out that dignity was part of the equation when it came to the woman he tolerated, the woman he didn't love.
As for the woman he loved? He would cross all the lines with her, and even impregnate her.
" Some good daughter she is. Getting pregnant before wedlock? She will surely bring honour to your family ." I mocked, the bitterness in my voice hardly concealed.
" She can't take my room."
" If she needs space, let her look for the child's father."
" She is not my business. "