Chapter 33 Anya
They took me back to the servants' wing like I was nothing. Just a borrowed item that was no longer needed.
Like the past weeks had not happened. Like Nikolai had not held me, jissed me and told me I mattered.
But I guess none of that was real.
None of it meant anything.
The walk of shame through the grand halls felt longer than it ever had. Every guard averted their gaze, every maid his their smirk.
The guards dumped my belongings in a small room at the end of the hall. It was tiny, dark and cold. It was nothing like the room I had before.
"Welcome back," one of the maids sneered as I walked past. Her voice was sharp with triumph. "You thought you were special, didn't you?"
"You thought you were better than us?" Another one laughed.
"Look at her. All dressed still in her fancy shame," another, Olga, chimed in with a cruel laugh. "The color doesn’t suit you down here, miss.”
"Turns out you were just a warm body. Nothing more." Another one spat at my feet. her words hit me right in the center of my chest. "A temporary distraction.”
I kept my head down, my vision blurred. I found my door, shut it behind me, and slid to the floor. The tears came, hot and silent, full of a pain that was worse than any slap.
Nikolai had built something fragile in me, made me feel a flicker of worth, and then he had handed the wrecking ball to Katya
Vera found me an hour later. Sitting on my bed. Crying.
Vera found me an hour later. I was on the thin mattress, curled into a ball. I had stopped crying but my body still shaking. She didn’t knock. She just entered, sat on the edge of the bed, and pulled me into her bony, strong arms. "Oh, my child," she whispered. "I am so sorry.”
"It was stupid of me," I hiccupped against her shoulder, the scent of laundry soap on her dress was a pathetic comfort. "So stupid to think I mattered. To think he… cared.”
"He does care. I saw it. Everyone saw it."
"Then why am I here?" I pulled back, wiping my nose on my sleeve. "Why am I back in this room? Why is she in the estate?"
Vera sighed. "Because he is a man. And men always choose power over love. Always. Love is a luxury. Power is a necessity.”
"I hate him," I whispered. The word tasted like ash in my mouth.
"No, you do not." She said softly, brushing my hair from my damp forehead.
"I do. I hate him for making me believe. For making me hope."
"I know." Vera stroked my hair. "I know."
The other maids continued to mock me throughout the day.
"Look who is back."
"The Pakhan's whore."
"Did you really think he would choose you?"
"You are nothing. Just a slave."
I ignored them and focused on my work, trying to forget.
But I could not forget. I could not stop seeing his face. I could not stop earing his voice.
He had said he would choose me.
But he had let them chase me away like I was nothing.
What was I to think he would choose me anyway?
I was the daughter of his enemy. And he was the monster who had made my life in the first place.
Our proximity was cursed from the beginning.
Night came. I lay in my small bed, staring at the ceiling.
I would never see Nikolai again. I would never feel his arms around me. I would never hear him whisper my name.
That part of my life was over.
Tears hurt my eyes but I fought them back.
Just as I was drifting off to sleep, someone knocked on my door.
I opened it. A guard stood there.
"Miss Katya requests your presence. Immediately."
My stomach dropped. "Why?"
"She did not say. She just said I should bring you."
I followed him through the hallways. My bare feet was cold on the stone floor. We went to Katya's room. The room that used to be mine.
She was there, perched on the edge of the bed I used to share with Nikolai, wearing a lace nightgown that probably cost more than my life. She was smiling.
"Anya. Come in. Close the door."
I did, leaning against it as if it could protect me. "You asked for me?"
"Yes. I need you to do something for me." Her voice was sweet like honey over poison.
"What?"
"I seem to have left my favorite necklace at my father's estate. A diamond pendantm It was my mother's. I feel naked without it. I need you to go get it for me."
I stared. "Now? It's midnight."
"Yes, now. Is that a problem?" She blinked.
"The Morozov estate is an hour's drive away. It's the middle of the night." I said.
"Then you better hurry, hadn't you?" The sweetness vanished, replaced by cold steel. "Take a car from the garage. A guard will drive you. But you will go in, and you will fetch it from my dressing table. I've already called ahead; they'll let you in.”
"But..."
"Are you refusing?" She tilted her head, her eyes glinting. "Because I can always go and tell Nikolai that you were disrespectful and disobedient to his fiancée. I wonder how he'd punish you now. The shed, perhaps?"
I bit my tongue. "No. I will do it."
"Good. Now, hurry up." She waved a dismissive hand. "And when you return, it shouldn't be much past 2 AM, I will need you to press all the dresses in my wardrobe. They've gotten wrinkled in transit. Then, clean my collection of evening shoes. And organize my jewelry box. That should keep you useful until breakfast.”
I turned to leave.
"Oh, and Anya?" She called as my hand touched the doorknob.
I stopped. "Yes?"
"Just so you know, this is just the beginning. Your real suffering starts now. I am going to make every hour your life a living hell. Every single day. Until you break. Until you beg to leave." She smiled. "Welcome to your new life."
I walked out. The guard led me to a car. The drive was long. I retrieved the necklace from a sleepy, scornful Morozov servant. I returned as the clock neared three in the morning.
I pressed dresses until my arms ached. I polished shoes until the fumes made my head spin. I sorted jewels with trembling fingers. I finished as the sky began to lighten, just in time to start the kitchen's morning chores.
I was very tired, but there was no rest. As I helped set the staff breakfast table, Irina, one of the maids, nudged me. "You're wanted by the future lady of the house.”
I dragged my feet to her room. I was sleepy
and hungry.
“Ah, Anya. Good," Katya said. "You will prepare breakfast for me and my husband-to-be.”
My stomach twisted. “What?”