Chapter 141 Anya
The forest was endless.
I walked for hours. Then days. I had no idea which direction I was going. The trees all looked the same. Tall. Dark. Stretching forever.
I had no food. No water. No shelter. Just the torn black dress and my bleeding feet and the cold night air.
During the day I walked, searching for a road or a house or anything. But there was nothing. Just trees and more trees and the occasional animal cry. During the night I huddled against tree trunks and tried to stay warm. But the cold seeped into my bones, made my teeth chatter, made my body shake until I thought I would break apart.
I thought about the person who had taken me. Who had put the bag over my head and dragged me into the forest. Then disappeared. Left me alone to die. Why? Why take me from the burning estate just to abandon me here? It made no sense. Unless they wanted me to suffer. Wanted me to die slowly instead of quickly. Wanted me to know what it felt like to have hope and then lose it.
Maybe it was Alexei. Maybe he had survived and had one last cruel trick to play. Or maybe it was someone else. Someone I did not know. Someone with their own agenda.
It did not matter anymore. Whoever they were, they had succeeded. I was going to die here. Alone. Lost. Forgotten.
On the second day I found a stream. The water was cold and clear. I drank until my stomach hurt. Washed my face and hands. For a moment I felt stronger. Like maybe I could survive. But the stream led nowhere. It wound through the forest without direction. I followed it for hours and it just led deeper into the woods.
On the third day I stopped finding the stream. I must have wandered away from it somehow. Now I had no water. No direction. Nothing. My throat became dry. My lips cracked and bled. My tongue felt like leather in my mouth.
I kept walking because what else could I do? Sit down and wait to die? I had survived too much to give up now. I had survived Volkov. Survived the basement. Survived the attack. I would survive this too.
But my body was betraying me. My legs grew weaker. My vision blurred. Every step became harder than the last. I stumbled over roots. Walked into branches. Fell and had to drag myself back up.
On the fourth day I could not remember why I was walking. Could not remember what I was looking for. My mind was foggy and confused. I saw things that were not there. Nikolai standing in the distance, calling my name. I ran toward him but he disappeared. Just shadows and trees and my dying brain playing tricks.
On the fifth day I stopped counting. Time lost all meaning. Day and night blurred together. I walked when I could. Crawled when I could not walk. Lay still when I could not crawl.
The hunger was the worst. It gnawed at my insides like a living thing, made my stomach twist and burn. I tried eating leaves and bark and anything. But my body rejected it all. I vomited what little I consumed and felt weaker than before.
The thirst was almost as bad. My throat was so dry I could barely swallow. My lips were cracked and bleeding. My tongue was swollen. I dreamed of water and rain and the stream I had lost.
I thought about Nikolai constantly. Wondered if he was looking for me. If he knew I was alive. If he cared anymore. Maybe he thought I was dead. Maybe he had given up. Maybe he had moved on.
The thought hurt worse than the hunger. Worse than the thirst. Worse than the cold. But I pushed it away. Focused on surviving. On taking the next step. And the next. And the next.
I do not know how many days passed. Six. Seven. Ten. Time became meaningless. There was only the walking, the falling, the getting back up. The endless trees and the fading hope.
My body was shutting down. I could feel it. My heart beat too slowly. My breathing was shallow. My vision was going dark at the edges. This was what dying felt like. Not sudden. Not dramatic. Just a slow fading. Like a candle burning out.
I thought about my life. About my parents who had died when I was young. About the choices I had made. About Nikolai. About our love and our fights and our failures. Maybe this was how it was supposed to end. Maybe I was supposed to die alone in the forest. Payment for all the sins I had committed. All the lies I had told. All the people who had died because of me.
I collapsed against a tree and slid down to the ground. I could not walk anymore. Could not move. This was it. This was where I would die.
I closed my eyes. Let the darkness take me. Let the cold seep in. Let everything fade away.
I am sorry, Nikolai. I am sorry I could not be stronger. I am sorry I could not find my way back to you. I am sorry for everything.
The darkness pulled at me. Deeper. Deeper. I let it. Because fighting was too hard. Surviving was too hard. Everything was too hard.
I felt myself slipping away. My heart slowing. My breathing stopping. The cold becoming warmth. The pain becoming nothing.
And then I felt something.
Strong arms lifting me from the ground. Holding me. Carrying me.
I tried to open my eyes but I could not. I tried to speak but no words came out. I was too far gone. Too close to death.
But the arms were real. Warm. Solid. They held me gently. Carefully. Like I was something precious. Something worth saving.
I felt movement. The arms carrying me through the forest. Away from the tree where I had been dying.
Toward something. Somewhere.