Chapter 101 Dark obsession!
|| KILLIAN’S POV ||
It was night.
I stood by the window of my room, letting the cool night air brush against my skin as I exhaled smoke from my lips, curling like clouds. My mind is a storm, every thought circling back to her.
My rabbit.
I don’t even know what to call her, ‘girlfriend’ sounds laughably small for what she is to me. That word is too harmless. She’s my possession. My addiction. My beautiful curse.
Every inch of her, her breath, her tears, her heartbeat, exists for me.
And the moment I imagine her walking away, my chest tightens–my blood runs hot, and I know, I’d burn this entire world to the ground before I let her go.
The thought of her leaving me feels like death itself.
I finally understood the kind of terror I’d carved into that soul. But what choice did I have?
The truth was a venom I’d tried to bury alive. I was foolish to forget that truth never rots in the dark. It claws its way back to the surface. And when she learned it, she became my ruin.
I glanced out of the window. Beyond the estate, the forest stretched endlessly. The view was calm, almost beautiful, at least, to a devil like me. But for her, my delicate one, it would be nothing but a maze of nightmares.
I heard a faint rustle behind me and turned my head. Smoke drifted lazily from my lips, blurring the edges of my vision but not the sight of her.
My gaze, cold, I know. It’s always cold, locked on her. She was sitting up, swallowed in the blanket, eyes heavy with sleep yet fixed on me. Probably woke up because of the smokes.
She had woken. My rabbit had woken. My fragile little thing.
She must feel disgusted by the smell. I was intense with my stare. She was staring at me timidly. Her eyes were round.
She so damn adorable!
After she’d fallen asleep in front of the basement door, I carried her into my room because I can’t seem to breathe unless she’s close.
She cries all day. Whenever I see her–her eyes are teary. It bothers me.
I didn’t look away. I wanted to make eye contact with her. With those magical eyes. I wanted her eyes on me, needed it like air. It felt like an eternity since she last dared to meet my gaze.
And now, with those half-lidded sleepy eyes, she looked straight at me like she didn’t know she was staring into the devil’s own.
One thought gnawed at me again, how could I ever let her go?
My father was a bastard! His recklessness stole her family. She became an orphan because of him. An accident. Nothing to do with me.
It wasn’t my fault. I wasn’t the one who tore her world apart.
Then came my truth that she can’t accept.
I chose a violent world. I carved darkness into my own shadow. Those with power can take anything, do anything. They can punish, destroy and avenge. So I became one of them.
So what if I kill people?
Is it really unacceptable for her?
Why? Does she not understand I’ll never hurt her? Well... I did hurt her. But only to keep her.
Do I regret taking her by force?
No.
She was already mine. So I did whatever I wanted to. I had the rights! She gave me the rights! I claimed what was owed to me.
She made me greedy for her. She asked for love, I gave her obsession instead. Something far more dangerous.
She fed my hunger until it turned into madness. Now she wants to escape but I’m drowning in it–in her. And I have no intention of coming up for air.
And now she’s too stubborn and afraid.
I caused this myself. I watched my rabbit stiffen under my gaze. She doesn’t look me in the eyes anymore. That soft innocent gaze she once gave me, I’ve stolen it. And I’m never giving it back.
I just want her. At any cost.
She’s all I have. She’s all I need. All I want!
Crazily. My only claim in this rotten world. The only thing that’s truly mine!
I know I’ve shattered her. I’ve seen the way she flinches, the way her eyes dart like a trapped animal searching for a way out.
I put that fear in her.
I made sure she understood there’s no escape from me. I killed without hesitation in front of her, I didn’t want to but... I’d do it again if it meant keeping her here. To make her stay with me... even with fear.
I can’t let her go!
Not after her lips spoke those vows to me. Not after she claimed me as hers and I branded her as mine. The moment she did, something inside me snapped.
I stopped caring about boundaries, about right or wrong.
Everything I do to her feels right. Nothing feels wrong because she’s so fucking mine! All mine!
Call it what it is, vicious obsession. And I’ll feed it until the day I die.
Because it had turned aggressively darker.
Let her go? What the fuck does she mean by that? She wants me to open my hands and watch some other bastard touch her the way I own her? She wants me to see her in the arms of someone else? Watch someone else claim the piece of her soul that belongs only to me?
Fuck!
That thought explodes in my skull like a loaded gun. Every nerve in my body screams. I can’t—won’t let it happen!
I realized I’d been staring at her like a predator. My eyes were cold as stone as I gazed at her intensely. Her body stiffened. Fear flickering across her soft features before she twisted away, turning her back to me and hiding herself under the blanket.
I’d be lying if I said it didn’t sting. It stung and it’s painful.
Chris’s words about Grandpa’s concern kept echoing in my mind. I can’t think straight now.
Grandpa entrusted me with his power. I owe him that. His world has rules–innocents aren’t to be harmed, only the guilty punished. I walk that line but I am guilty too. For hurting her. I wield that power and it’s intoxicating.
If Grandpa ever found out I’d caged her, he wouldn’t stand idle. He wouldn’t let an innocent soul suffer.
I let my gaze drift out the window. The cigar burning hot between my lips. I can’t afford to lose her. She lives in every cell of my veins.
If some higher or divine power exists, let it understand: no one will take her from me.
I am nothing without her!
Maybe?
I hadn’t realized how dark my obsession had grown until she tried to escape that night.
That moment shattered me, my mind, my control, my sanity, all lost in the fever of my desire to claim her existence entirely. Even if it meant forcing her.
That body endured a lot that night. And in the end, she surrendered, begging, crying, apologizing to stop me and now she fell silent. Completely silent.
Part of me...a part I can’t admit, regrets it! Regrets that I broke her.
I want to know what holds her back from accepting me fully. Maybe, maybe I already know–
It’s my real face.
How do I even explain this storm inside me? My obsession isn’t just desire, it’s fire, a hunger that devours logic and reason. I don’t care about anything but her.
I feel like tearing myself apart, burning every shred of me just to stop thinking about the unbearable thought of letting her go.
She belongs to me. Every shiver, every tear, every heartbeat–I crave it all like a madman.
And the more I crave, the more I feel the darkness tightening around me, twisting me, making me hers in ways no one could understand.
What am I even feeling right now?
I don’t know. My chest feels tight. Too tight.
My eyes flicked back to her, curling herself into a cute ball. That fragile soul. She makes me feel as if my soul is entwined with hers.
I glanced down at the locket. The black skull glinted darkly like a vampire. Her blood is with me. That means, she’s with me. Always.
The smoke was intense. I heard a soft cough from behind.
I’m selfish. I truly am. I turned this way. For her. How can I bring the old her back? I want those beautiful eyes on me for fucks sake. Now it feels unbearable.
I don’t care if I deserve her or not. Her life is already tangled with mine.
I’ve caged her once, and I’ll do it a thousand times if I must. Not just to protect her but to possess her. To own her in every sense.
If obsession had a name, it would be her and if obsession has no limits, then neither do I.
I am the storm, the shadow, the chains that wrap around her soul. And I will never let go. I want her to understand how I truly feel.
It’s crazy.
I crushed the cigar into the metal ashtray and flicked it out. I took off my t-shirt. I must reek of cigarettes because I puffed a few without pause because of frustration. I was lost in my thoughts for I don’t know how long.
Then I felt the need of her. Whenever I think about her. I know I’m hard down there. Only for her. Ever.
I feel the need to fuck her! To feel her deepest part. I want to feel her repeatedly like a craze. Over and over until I’m truly dead.
Because I can’t get enough of her no matter what. Just like she told me on Velaris island. She told me to kill her because she couldn’t get enough of me. I feel her!
But what changed her? My truth!
My cock was barely holding itself back. It was pressed against the denim so hard. Trying it’s best to control. It might explode.
I want her. I want to collect her soul inside of my chest. Deep inside me. Somewhere she’ll only remain mine.
Brushing my hair back with my fingers, I eased onto the bed. Her stillness told me she was asleep again. I slid beside her before gently pulling her against my chest.
My hands tangled into her silky hair and I breathed in her scent. A low groan escaped me. My dick was twitching painfully.
“Fuck.” I cursed in a low tone.
I pressed a light kiss to her cheek. My innocent one looked so peaceful like an angel. I stayed there, tracing her cheek softly with my lips, careful not to startle her because my hunger for her is so ferocious.
Once I feel her against me, I lose control. I can’t stop until she’s in the verge of passing out. I let her inhale between the hungry kisses just enough to survive, only so I can claim her again and again until the world narrows down to just us.
I rested my face against her hair, holding her close. It feels nice. Her warmth, her presence. My gaze drifted to those pouty lips and I tugged her closer as if she might vanish if I didn’t.
“How can someone be this beautiful?”
I muttered. It escaped my lips automatically. Her lips came in touch with my naked chest and fuck-!
I felt my dick pulsing with need. Hardening like a stone. I hissed and closed my eyes at the painful sensation before pressing my lips on her smooth forehead. My hand tangled in her hair.
Every inch of me ached to feel her, to bury myself inside her. I wanted to dominate her in ways that would leave no doubt her soul was mine to fuck!
Mine to cherish.
I exhaled deeply. And suddenly everything feels blank. With her in my arms. I can’t think about anything else.
“Every shiver, every breath you take, I feel it. I’m in the shadows behind your eyes, tracing your pulse, tasting your fear. You can’t hide, you can’t run because I’m already inside you, haunting every corner of your mind. Even in your dreams, I’m there, dragging you back to me. You belong to the darkness I’ve made. and I will follow you until there’s nothing left but the echo of me in your soul.”
I whispered “Do you hear me?” I inhaled her sweet scent “Do you hear the echo of my stoned heart?” I chuckled, eyeing at her squishy lips.