Chapter 152 Run
Chapter 152: Run
Damon's Pov
Run!!!!
That's all I could think of. Run away. Run from Milo's eyes. Run from it all, from what I had become.
My wolf screamed inside me to turn back, it pained him to be far from his mate, especially now that the bond was stronger than before. It hurts to be far away from Milo.
Don't leave mate! my wolf cried. Need mate! Want mate!
But I didn't listen. I couldn't.
As I ran out of the cave,
And that's when I saw it. The true state of my pack, Really saw the truth that James had tried to hide from me.
Tents made of scraps littered the forest ground. Wounded wolves everywhere. Children crying. My people were hungry.
This wasn't a pack. This was what was left of a pack.
We hadn't won. We barely survived.
And it was my fault. I was supposed to protect them. I was supposed to be the strong alpha…like my father had wished i would become,
But I had failed woefully,
I have failed him, I have failed my people.
My father's voice echoed in my head, "Weak. Always weak. You'll never be the alpha this pack needs."
A bitter smile crossed my beast face. The urge to disappear became even stronger than ever before. Maybe if I just... disappeared... they could find a better alpha. Someone whole,
Someone… human.
I didn't know for how long I ran, but I suddenly heard moving water,
A river.
My throat was burning from dehydration, and without wasting time, I headed towards the direction of the river and sat by the edge. The water showed my reflection.
A monster looked back at me.
Red eyes that glowed like fire, Black fur darker than night. Teeth too big, sticking out even when my mouth was closed. Claws too sharp for a normal wolf.
No wonder children cried when they saw me. No wonder mothers pulled their babies close. I was the thing from their worst nightmares. The monster under the bed.
This was me now. This was what I was now.
I heard the leaves rustle. Followed by footsteps behind me.
Shit!!
Of course he followed me, like a stubborn fly.
I started to rise again, getting ready to run again, but then…
"Don't!"
I froze, more like my body stopped, like someone had pressed pause on me.
My whole muscles refused to listen to my command, to move, no matter how hard I urged it to,
I couldn't move.
But despite my predicament, my body shook more from shock than surprise, as the Alpha command rolled through my body…
When did he learn that?
Milo's POV
I followed his footprints. They were huge. Impossible to miss.
Each print was as big as my whole chest. Deep in the mud. He wasn't trying to hide. Part of him wanted me to find him. I knew it. I could feel it through our bond… the part of him that needed me, even as the other part tried to run.
The bond led me to the river like a rope tied around my heart. He sat there, looking at his reflection like it was his enemy.
When he heard me, his massive body tensed. He tried to run again.
"Don't!" I shouted. I was angry now. Really angry. The word came out with power I didn't know I had.
He stopped. Frozen.
"Stop running from me!" I said, walking closer. My voice was shaking, but not from fear. From frustration. From hurt. "I'm tired of chasing you, Damon!"
He turned his huge head to look at me but wouldn't meet my eyes. Even as a beast, I could see the shame in how he held himself. Shoulders hunched. Head low.
"You think you're a monster," I said. "You think you failed everyone."
He flinched. His whole giant body shuddered uncontrollably.
"They're dying because of me," his voice whispered in my mind through our bond. Broken. Scared. "I couldn't protect them. I'm supposed to be strong, and I couldn't even..."
"Stop," I said out loud, "Just stop."
I walked closer. "I saw the camp. I know we lost. I know people died. But that's not your fault!"
He made a sad sound, like a whine but deeper. It rumbled through his chest.
"Look at me, Milo. Look at what I've become. I'm exactly what my father said I was. Weak. A failure. And now I'm not even human anymore."
"The Queen did this. Not you," I said firmly. "You fought for us. You almost died for us! Seven days, Damon. Seven days you were unconscious because you pushed yourself past every limit to save us!"
I was right in front of him now. This beast was five times my size. I had to look up to see his face.
"You want to know what I see?" I asked.
He shook his massive head. 'Don't. Please don't lie to make me feel better.'
"Too bad. I'm telling you anyway."
I reached up and touched his face. His fur was rough but warm. I could feel him trembling under my hand.
"I see someone who gave up everything to save others. I see someone who became something he hates just to protect people he loves."
His red eyes finally met mine. They were wet.
For a second, I wondered if beasts could cry?
'I'm a monster, Milo, Look at me, Really look at me.'
"I am looking," I said softly. "I see a brave mate, my brave stupid, self hating mate…, even if it's a little new to me, but might be new to this.”
“How can you even stand to look at me? I'm hideous. I'm everything that is wrong, everything that is broken…'
And then I did something crazy.
I hugged him, and that shut him up even through the mind link.
His whole body tensed, becoming stuff but I didn't care.
My arms couldn't even go around his neck… he was too big. But I hugged him anyway, pressing my face into his dark, surprisingly soft fur.
"I'm not scared of you," I whispered. "I never will be."
He was shaking. This giant beast was shaking like a scared puppy. I could feel everything through our bond… his fear, his self-hatred, his desperate need to be held, and his terror or rejection.
'Milo, I... I can't change back. What if I'm stuck like this forever? What if…'
Shhhh, we will find a way, Daphne is already preparing a medicine she believes will help you change back.”
Slowly, carefully, like he was afraid he'd hurt me, he lowered his huge head to rest on my shoulder. I could feel his warm breath, could feel his tears soaking my shirt.
We stayed like that for a long time. Just holding each other by the river. His giant form curled around me, like he was trying to make himself smaller, trying to fit into my arms.
'I'm so scared, Milo. I'm scared of what I am. I'm scared I'll hurt someone. I'm scared they willl all leave…
"Never," I said firmly. "And you know what? They won't leave either. Your pack needs you."
He made a sound that was question and doubt all at once.
'How? How can I lead them like this? I can't even speak to them. I'm just a beast now.'
"How can you lead them like this?" I repeated his thoughts out loud. "We do it together. You and me. Together."
He pulled back to look at me, those red eyes so full of fear and hope.
"They're scared," I said honestly. "They lost their homes. Lost friends. Lost family. But they still have their Alpha. They still have you."
He looked toward the camp. I could feel his terror through our bond, sharp and cold.
'They'll run. They'll scream. The children will have nightmares about me.'
"Some might," I admitted. "At first. But they need to see you. Need to know you're alive. Even like this."
He shook his head hard. 'I can't. Milo, I can't face them like this. Please don't make me…”
"Yes," I said firmly, stomping my foot to the ground. "Tomorrow morning. We gather everyone. And we show them their Alpha."
He made a scary sound, a small sound that I didn't know that such a big creature should be able to make.
'What if they reject me? What if they want a new alpha? What if…”
"I'll be right there with you," I promised, taking his huge paw in both my hands. "Every step. And if anyone has a problem with you, they'll have to deal with me."
That actually made him huff, almost like a laugh. “You're going to protect me? You're half my size even when I'm human.”
"Size doesn't matter when you're protecting someone you love…" I said suddenly, before I could realise what I had just said.
“What did you say?”
But he heard me, his wide eyes burned bright like it wanted to stare right into my soul.
My face exploded with heat, I suddenly wanted to disappear into thin air.