Chapter 34 She deserves to d*e
Ruel’s POV
I pull back sharply, keeping my hands beside me.
This isn't you, Ruel. Control yourself. The bond is under your authority, it shouldn't control you.
Standing slightly bent, I slide my arms under her, lifting her easily. Ira breathes out, unconsciously leaning closer, her head resting softly against my shoulder.
Her hair smells damp, drawing my attention to the dye with which she has coated her hair.
What is she hiding? I wonder what she'll look like if she were to wash this off.
What if she's a stray?
What if she's just not like everyone else?
It wouldn't make a difference if she were a stray because I would take her out like I've taken out the rest.
I hold her tighter than I should as I carry her through the small connecting hallway, down to her room.
Maybe I reduce my pace so as to lengthen the feeling of her against me, maybe I stare at her angelic face more than I do the road.
But for my own peace of mind I don't dwell on my actions for now.
Entering her room, I quietly close the door, balancing her perfectly in one arm.
I turn around and her bed is just there but my chest feels… strange. Almost like it hurts to let her go.
This is insane. I need more of that brown powder.
Why did I even carry her in the first place?
I should have just woken her up.
Quickly, yet gently I lay her down on the bed. She immediately curls slightly, clutching the blanket with her small pale hands. Her lips move, murmuring sleepily, her voice tender and incoherent.
“Mm… don’t touch… Ruel… stupid commander…”
My lips tilt upwards in amusement. She looks ridiculously cute like this.
Dear goddess! When did she start looking cute? Get a grip of yourself Ruel.
I turn to leave but the air suddenly shifts, forcing my feet to stay rooted.
I turn as the wind roars, slipping through cracks in the closed windows. The light curtains hung over the windows sway helplessly.
I guess we might be expecting a storm tonight then.
A chair in the corner shakes, catching my attention. The hairs on my arms rise as an eerie feeling takes over the space.
“What the…”
The wind rushes in, bursting the weak windows open with a loud woosh. The chair crashes to the ground.
The desk lamp on a table at the corner crashes to the ground.
I step back, my brows furrowed. “What's going on?” I whisper to myself, certain the lamp hadn't been pushed by the wind.
The room suddenly grows so cold that my breath fogs slightly.
And Ira…
My eyes widen the moment they fall on her. She's… glowing.
Her hair isn't just glowing. No, cause those red strands lift up as though suspended in space, floating, swaying. And at the roots…
My hand reaches for the sharp dagger on my belt. With one swift drag I unsheathe it, my shocked gaze fixed on those shimmering white strands of hair shining at the base of her hair.
I step closer and what I see confirms that it's not a reflection… it's not a trick of light.
That's a true glow. That's what she's been hiding!
It's not just white hair, it's… glowing white. Only sempyrs glow like this.
She's a deceiver, a killer… she deserves to die.
I know what I should do, SO WHY AM I NOT DOING IT?!
My breathing changes as I fume, fury surging through every part of me.
I lift the weapon.
It's what she deserves. It's best to strike now that she's asleep.
Her lips move again… she looks distressed as though trying to escape something. Maybe she can sense her end is near.
My heart slams against my ribs.
I don't even notice when my hand falls back to my side but I don't lift it back up.
“Ira?” I whisper, my voice trembling as I'm torn between performing duty and…protecting her.
This is the weakness I never wanted. This is the madness I should have rejected from the start. I should have sent her away a long time ago.
Telling her to spy for me just so I could have her close at all times… stupid.
That's truly what I am.
She turns, her blanket shifting with her.
“Ruel,” Krist growls.
I step back, securing the dagger in my belt.
I may not be able to carry out justice but someone else can.
Without looking back, I storm out of the room, locking it up to ensure she doesn't escape. At least every window has a burglary. There's no way she's getting out of this.
It's not until dawn that I call for Elric. I stop my pacing in my study, drop into the chair, and rub a shaky hand down my face.
“I need to kill her,” I whisper brokenly to myself.
“No you don't. Ruel, she belongs to us.” Krist murmurs.
I don't shut him out this time because I know this affects the both of us. But what I don't understand is why it hurts so bad.
It's not like I ever intended to seal our bond so why do I feel so pained.
“She can never be ours. Krist she’s a sempyr.” I grit out, my heart beating faster in anger.
“She's never used her power against us. Not even… not even when I lost control, Ruel.”
I think on his words and truly, she's never used her power on me. She almost acts like she doesn't have any.
That's because she's a fucking snake.
I stand up immediately I hear a soft knock. Knowing it's Elric, I stand to my feet just as he walks in.
“You called for me.” Elric says, sitting without waiting for permission.
I shut the door behind him, not wanting anyone else to hear about this.
“You look traumatized. What? You seen a ghost?” He jokes, but his eyes are warm as he watches me closely.
“A ghost would have been better.” I answer honestly and Elric sits up.
“So, what exactly is wrong?” Elric asks, sounding worried.
Ira is a sempyr.
It's so easy to say yet the words don't come out.
“Okay, now I know it must be bad if it's this hard for you to say.” he adds.
I inhale deeply. “Last night…” I begin,
“Commander Ruel,” a voice from outside cut through, quickly followed by a knock on the door.
“Come in.” I order, watching as Scarface steps through the door.
“Yes?” Elric frowns, unable to hide his hate for the man. He'd seen the letter too.
“Alpha King Andre just arrived at the base.” He announces.