Chapter 32 Anything but at peace
Ira’s POV
The guard doesn’t look at me once as we walk down the quiet hallway. His heavy boots thud against the floor, making my softer footsteps sound too light.
My steps become slow as we get closer to commander Ruel’s room.
I don’t want to go.
But he moves past Ruel’s room, stopping in front of another room, the one right beside Commander Ruel’s room. My stomach drops.
“Wait, no,” I protest, quickly stepping back. “I’m not staying here.”
The buff guard ignores me completely.
“I.. I don’t want…Please take me back to the servants quarter.”
The man unlocks the door, pushes it open, and gestures for me to enter.
I don't move. He doesn't either.
He simply stands with a blank yet stiff expression like he couldn't care less.
My jaw tightens as the feeling of frustration sinks into my bones.
So you’re just going to pretend I didn’t speak, right? Great. Fantastic.
He waits. Not a word. Not even a frown.
I glare at him before marching inside because his silence scares me more than sleeping in the room next to that of the commander.
The moment I step past the doorway, he closes the door. And then the lock turns with a click.
“Of course he's gonna lock me in.” I mumble bitterly.
Cursing under my breath I move away from the door. Then slowly I take in the spacious room.
The first thing I notice is how clean it is. It's warm too. Probably too warm. It's only a few steps away from commander Ruel's room after all.
The memory alone of what just happened some minutes ago sends heat crawling up my neck.
Too much… too sudden.
I yank the white blanket off the bed and wrap it tight around myself, even though I’m already warm. Warm is an understatement. Actually my whole body feels like it’s been plugged into something full of life. Current, like that of the seas hums under my skin, pushing forth images… Things I absolutely, definitely don’t want to think about.
I crawl into the bigger bed than the one in the servants quarter and shut my eyes.
At least I try to.
But the moment my lashes touch my cheeks, his face appears… Ruel. Suddenly he's too close, so intense, like he's magically materialized right in front of me.
“I want…to taste your lips,” His voice shakes into my head.
I bury my face in a pillow. “Ugh! Pervert,” I hiss into the fabric.
Then why did you lean deeper the second he wrapped his arms around you?
I am not thinking about the way his chest felt against my back.
Or how his breath brushed my neck. If air alone could claim a person then I'm sold to him already.
Or how my first instinct wasn’t to run when he wrapped those strong arms around me, carrying me like a doll into his study.
The sheer hunger in his eyes….
My body tingles again. Heat spreads under my chest, down my stomach.
“This is so stupid,” I whisper, pushing the blanket off my body.
Sleep refuses to come. But that's not surprising. Rest doesn't come easy to me. I guess not being able to sleep is the only thing that is normal tonight.
My skin stays hot even as I lie still. Yet my mind is anything but at peace.
I don't know how to turn off the replay of Ruel’s domineering voice in my head.
His words, “taste your lips,” repeat endlessly in my head.
It's ridiculous.
“He’s a monster,” I groan, reminding myself how sick it is to think anything that happened there was… hot.
Those red streaks in his golden orbs looked so…
“A complete trash bag… that's what he is. Stop thinking about him!”
But my body… doesn’t listen. And my thoughts? They smirk back at me in the dark.
You liked it.
“I did NOT.”
Then why can’t you stop thinking about him?
Why is your heart racing, huh?
By the time rays of sun creep into the room, I’m on the floor, lying flat on my back. My eyes are fixed on the ceiling like it's the reason for my misery.
My brain feels overused, my dignity limping on a leg.
I jolt upright the moment a soft knock taps against the door.
The lock clicks and my heart jumps into my throat.
“Sia?” I mutter, sitting up fast.
She steps inside, her eyes worried. “You sound disappointed.” She mutters, watching me closely.
“Disappointed? Why would I be?” I ask, stepping closer to her.
Maybe because it isn't the person with the broad shoulders and intimidating height you thought of all through the night. Dang Ira, you need to get a grip.
Sia moves closer. “Are you fine? You look pale. Cortis sent me to get you. We've been assigned to the training ground again. I know your duties have changed but I asked Cortis to keep us as close as possible.” She smiles.
I drag my hands down my face.
“D..does that make you uncomfortable? I can… I can ask her to…”
“No,” I carefully cut her off. “Thank you, Sia. I'll also rather work with you than alone.” I say, relaxing when she smiles.
We hurry to the general bathroom. Sia brings a small bucket and I splash cold water on my body.
The chill soothes my heated body instantly, but the tight feeling in my chest stays.
We head to the training ground, both of us carrying our buckets filled with several bottles of drinking water. The morning breeze greets us with the smell of grass and sweating warriors.
”I prefer this task a million times to cloth duty.” Sia says with a smile, her eyes falling on the tall bronze skinned guy from the last time.
He catches her staring and sheepishly turns away, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.
Sia’s face falls. “Do you think my smile is ugly?”
“What?” I glance at her in confusion.
“Why doesn't he ever look at me?” she whines.
I shake my head, increasing my pace. I can't deal with her ignorance.
But then my steps slow down drastically as a scent sneaks up my nose.
It's so hard to place the exact aroma I'm perceiving but the moment my eyes find the source, I know it's him.
Commander Ruel. He's talking with an older warrior, his hand in his pocket, his biceps flexing as he gestures to a group of relaxing young men.
“What’s wrong?” Sia asks.
“Nothing,” I lie quickly, marching under the shade.
Warriors and guards are already swinging weapons, several are doing push-ups, a few are running drills.
Ruel stands there with an icy expression.
I’m not looking at him.
“He looks moodier today.” Sia whispers,
“Good,” I say. “Let him choke on his own mood.”
He's a jerk, an asshole, a pervert, a darn coward for attempting to do what he promised he won't do.
I don't care. I don't need him to look in my direction.
In fact, this is perfect.
Fucking perfect.