Chapter 148 Part 148
Asher
The loud crack from the lightning was what woke him. Asher lay in his bed for a few seconds when another flash lit up his room, and another crack sounded like it was splitting the earth in two.
He was up in an instant, pulling on clothes, and stumbling against the wall in his haste to get his shoes on. He rushed down the stairs and started rummaging in the foyer closet.
“Where’s the fire?” Joel asked from behind him.
“There’s a storm. I have to get to Emerson.”
Joel didn’t say anything, but he grabbed Asher’s backpack, and held it open as he stuffed the rechargeable lanterns in the bag. Asher grabbed his keys and ran into the storm.
The rain pelted down on him hard, and by the time he reached his truck, his clothes were wet, and the water was streaming down his face. He wiped the water away, and slowly drove to Emerson’s house. The dirt road was slippery, and he could feel the traction of his tires as it pulled the truck through the mud.
Her house was pitch black and he gritted his teeth as he ran from the truck to her porch. He quickly unlocked the door and took a step inside. He turned back and took his shoes off.
“Emerson?” he called out.
The house was eerily quiet, but he could hear her crying when he neared her bedroom. A faint light shone from the cupboard, and Emerson screamed loudly when he opened the door. She had the torchlight app on her phone shining brightly while she clutched Henri to her chest.
“Hey, it’s just me. You’re okay,” he said, softly.
“Asher?” She looked confused and scared.
“Give Henri to me, I’ll get him back in his crib. Stay here,” he said, and pulled one of the lanterns from his bag, and switched it on. She nodded her head frantically, and clutched the lantern when he took Henri from her arms.
Asher closed the cupboard’s door, and placed the baby back in his crib. He left another lantern in Henri’s room, and padded back to where Emerson was still hiding in her cupboard.
“I’m going to open the door, Emerson. It’s just me.” He opened the door slowly, and Emerson flinched away from him. “Take my hand.”
She looked at him for a few seconds before taking his hand, and he helped her to her feet. He placed the lantern on her nightstand, and turned toward the bathroom. Her hand clutched his shirt tightly and he moved slower. In the bathroom, he left another lantern, the light reflecting from the large mirror against the wall.
Asher turned and gripped her hand tightly. She was shaking, and he wrapped his arms around her. “You’re okay. It’s just a storm.”
She didn’t say anything so Asher led her back to her bed. They stood facing each other, and Emerson seemed much calmer with the lanterns chasing away the shadows.
“Why are you here?” She wrapped her arms around herself as she looked at him.
“I know how scared of the dark you are,” he said, feeling the awkwardness between them.
“I don’t get you, Asher,” she said.
“What?”
“You don’t want to talk about the past. You don’t want to move forward, and you don’t want me to love you, but you drive to my house in the middle of a storm because you know I’m afraid. I don’t get it.”
Asher shook his head. “I never said I didn’t care about you, and I never said I didn’t want you to love me.”
“By changing the subject, and not talking about it, you are saying that!”
“It’s complicated,” he said, and looked down.
“Because you want me to hate you instead?”
His head snapped up and his eyes narrowed. “Where the hell did you hear that?”
“Is it true? Do you want me to hate you?”
Asher’s breath was ragged now, and he could feel the walls closing in on him. “Yes! I want you to hate me!”
“Why?” Emerson yelled at him.
He shook his head, and turned his back on her. “You read the journal. You know what I did.”
“No, Asher! I don’t know what you did. I know what they made you do! If you want me to hate you, then fine, I’ll hate you!”
He turned to look at her. The pain in her eyes was evident. “You don’t hate me, Emerson. You never hated me.”
“If you kill yourself, I’ll hate you forever! I’ll hate you so much that I’ll tell Henri what a coward his father was. I’ll hate you so much that I won’t tell him any of the good stuff! Is that what you want?”
His eyes kept searching hers and he stepped closer to her. She slapped both of her hands against his chest, and pushed him away. Asher didn’t budge, and his hands landed on her shoulders.
“Don’t touch me, you asshole! Why are you even here? You don’t care enough to want to fight, so why bother at all?” She pushed him away again, as her tears started falling. “Are you happy now? I hate you, Asher Fitzgerald!”
“Stop, Emerson.” He pulled her against him, and his arms tightened around her. Her shoulders shook as she cried, and he lowered his head to hers. “I’m not going to kill myself.”
She just cried harder, not saying a word. Asher’s hand rubbed up and down her back, and they stood like that for a long time, until she was finally cried out. Asher kissed the top of her head, and slowly released his arms.
“Look at me, Emerson. I’m not going to kill myself.”
She nodded her head, and Asher sighed. She didn’t believe him. He scooped her into his arms, and lowered her onto the bed. He shifted against her, pulling her back against his chest.
“Don’t leave us, Asher,” Emerson whispered.
“I won’t. My mind is all screwed up, and I did think about it—”
“You thought about killing yourself?”
“I did, but at the end of the day, I don’t want to miss Henri’s life. I want to see him grow up and be part of it. I want to teach him how to ride, and how to shoot a rifle. So…even though I did think about it, I don’t want to do it.”