Chapter 116 Part 116
Asher
“You’re going to adopt the Crowley boys? Why?” Dylan asked.
“It doesn’t matter why,” Blair said, and turned to Asher. “Let us know if there’s anything we can do to help.”
Winchester, who had remained quiet throughout the entire conversation, cleared his throat. “Everybody makes mistakes, Asher. I’m sure Emerson never meant to hurt you.”
“I know, McRoy, but she still did.”
“In other news, we found out the gender of the baby,” Eden said, her eyes softening as she looked at Asher. “It’s a girl.”
Asher smiled, and he stood up from his seat. His hand went to Eden’s bulging stomach, and he kissed the top of her head. “She’ll be perfect, Eden. I’m really happy for you. She’s one lucky little lady having you for her mother.”
Eden sniffed as tears welled up in her eyes. “Stop making me so emotional before we’ve even eaten.”
Asher chuckled, and sat down in his seat. “I also bought The Lansing House a few months ago. I’m thinking it’ll take enough time renovating the old place to clear my mind again.”
“That place is a dump,” Winchester said.
“It’s got potential. Why don’t you help me fix her up? It’s not like you’re employed at the moment,” Asher said, and Winchester gave him a look.
“Yeah, I might as well do that before I get accused of sitting on my ass again.”
They all laughed at the look Eden gave him. “I never said that. You do chores with Colt and Dylan every day. I just said you should find something for you that you love to do, and try to make a business out of that.”
Nobody asked him any more questions, not about the Crowley boys, and not about The Lansing House. Breakfast was eaten swiftly because chores waited for no man. Within 20 minutes, they had all left the house, and Asher headed to his own barn to take care of his horses.
Later that afternoon, when he returned from the hardware store, Blair was sitting on his porch, clearly waiting for him. Asher unloaded the bags of brushes, tape and paint cans from his truck.
“Hey,” Blair said, with a worried look in his eyes.
“I’m fine, Blair.”
He went back to the truck, took the tarp off the back, and followed him into the house. The downstairs bedroom had been emptied and cleaned, and Asher let the roller brushes lean against the wall.
“Tell me what happened, Asher.”
He sighed, and started opening the tarp to cover the floor area. “Bear Claw told me that Joel and Oscar would need help, that they’d somehow end up living with me again.”
“Bear Claw? How the hell does he know that?” Blair looked confused.
“He even thanked me for finding him in the cave, even though he knows it never happened. It was weird, Blair, but he said he had to give me that message.”
“And Maggie?” Blair stood with his hands on his hips.
“What about Maggie? She’s married, and she’s not a part of my life. I’m doing this for me, Blair. I’m not trying to recreate that life. If those boys need help, then I want to help them. They’re meant to live here, they’re meant to be my sons. How else do you explain the vision and message Bear Claw had with his vision quest?”
“I can’t explain it, Asher, that’s the whole point.” Blair shook his head.
“He even knew about the wolf I killed,” Asher said, and sighed.
“I just don’t want you to retreat again. We can’t lose you, Asher.”
“Blair…I won’t. I’m past that. I’m not suicidal anymore. I’ve made peace with everything that happened. Let me do this, let me help those boys.”
“What about Emerson? I realize what she did was terrible, but I really thought you’d found your forever,” Blair said.
“I don’t know what she knows. I burned that damn journal, and I’m angry she read it. If she read everything, she knows what they made me do, what I did to survive. It’s bleak, Blair. I remember the look on your face when you read it.”
“Those actions don’t define you, Asher! You came back stronger, and you’re the same man as you were before all that. Those things in that book, that was you surviving, nothing else! I refuse to lose you to that madness. I refuse to let you believe that you’re not worthy!”
“I’m not, Blair. She’s better off without me, and we both know it.”
“So, that’s your plan? You’re going to sit here, paint this room, and not be happy? Ever? What the hell is wrong with you? You’re our brother, Asher! You need to get a grip, and pull your head out of your ass. I can only do so much to help you, but the rest is up to you. If you want to sit here, day in and day out, and be alone, so be it. I will always support you, no matter what it is, but when it comes to selling yourself short? I won’t stand by and watch.”
Blair turned on his heel and slammed the front door behind him. Asher stood there in disbelief, Blair’s words still haunting him. Was he punishing himself for something he had no control over? He felt like he didn’t know anything anymore.
He sighed as he grabbed the tape and started prepping the room to be painted. The busier he kept himself during the day might help him to sleep at night. Emerson was still everywhere he went, he couldn’t escape her.
Asher didn’t stop until the walls were covered in paint and his back ached. His muscles burned, but he smiled when he looked at the room. The silvery green made the room feel peaceful, and he exhaled slowly. Spring started in three months, but the room would be ready long before then.
That night, Asher slept like the dead. His body was exhausted, and he wondered how long he’d be able to keep that pace up, just so he could sleep without her.