My throat felt scratchy and sore after crying for so long, only managing to let out small and strangled sounds now as I sat there alone in a bathroom stall, letting those tears run free.
Did I say that I hate Mondays? Well I fucking loathe them now.
I had no idea how much time had passed yet I couldn't care less. I didn't care about school, I didn't care about what my parents would say, I didn't care about anything anymore. I was fucking devastated. My life was destroyed.
One look. That was all it took for my life to get utterly and irreparably fucked. Gone. Done deal.
No longer I was Jess, the lone wolf free as a bird. In her stead was Jess, the Royal Beta's mate now. And there was no escaping that. No matter what I did. Because like I said before, there was absolutely no way you could break the mate bond. Even if you died.
I could try and run away, leave the town with my family but that would only result in hurting my wolf. And I just got her back! I didn't want to break her spirit like that. Because as much as she was afraid of this too, I knew that she had already started to feel that invisible pull tugging at her. It was inevitable. She'd already seen him, felt him. And it will only get worse if we don't-
She sound of the bathroom door swinging open had me swallowing that sob that was about to get out, slapping a hand over my mouth as I sat there as still as a statue, closely listening to those light steps.
"Relax, it's just me," I immediately recognized Carrie's unmistakable voice as she announced out loud, making me blow out a relieved sigh before the waterworks turned on again, feeling way too emotional to even try and stop myself.
I bawled my eyes out for another few good minutes, sniffling and sobbing until I felt like I could no more, so I grabbed some toilet paper and dabbed it at my wet cheeks, blowing out my stuffy nose before I finally got out of that stall.
My gaze fell on Carrie's form as she sat with her back against the wall, her tiny skirt doing such a poor job to protect her ass from the dirty bathroom floor.
"That's gross,"
"Get your ass away from there before you get a freaking yeast infection or something,"
I listened to her snort as I approached one of the sinks and gave myself a quick glance in the mirror.
Eugh. I looked like shit. My face was so blotchy and my eyes were very red, making me look like a freaking nightmare.
I turned on the water and splashed some on my face, blowing out a sigh at the mildly refreshing feel of it against my heated skin.
I could notice her through the mirror, arms crossed and standing right next to me as she watched me.
"Come on, let's get out of this shit-hole,"
I didn't even get to protest as she immediately took my hand and started dragging me after her.
"Where are we going?"
"Anywhere but here,"
"But we still have classes," I weakly tried to reason with her, not really putting much effort into it as I was obviously feeling way too drained for that.
"So? Who the fuck cares, we can make up some excuses along the way," She casually said with a shrug then whirled around and pulled the door open, carefully peering into the hallway for any intruders first before we stepped out.
"All clear," She quietly said after another look then tugged at my hand, coaxing me to fall in step with her as we rapidly made our way to our lockers. And with fast moves we grabbed our stuff and ran away before anyone could catch us, pushing past those double doors of our school's entrance like we did so many times before.
It wasn't our first time ditching school. We've done it so many times in the past, whenever we felt like having some fun instead of just idling around in the classroom.
So we took my car as she didn't want to leave her little sis stranded at school, then we made a quick stop to her place first, snatching a bottle of gin from her mom's cabinet before driving off to our special secret place.
**
I took the bottle of gin and bag of snacks with me after getting out of the car, Carrie following me as I went to take a seat over one of the three large boulders forming an U shape at the very top of the hill overlooking our entire town, our presence here concealed by the few old trees scattered around.
She took a seat next to me as I placed the bag of snacks between us, not wasting a single moment longer as I rather greedily opened the bottle of gin and took a very hearty swig.
Gods. I really needed this.
"Whoah, dude slow down, you're gonna throw up,"
I threw her a flat look, receiving a small and amused chuckle in response before she snatched the bottle and took a few small sips herself, letting out a disgusted groan after swallowing it.
Yep. It really tasted that awful.
I blew out a tired sigh, mindlessly watching the quiet town below us as I lastly decided to explain to her why I reacted the way I did upon finding out that David was my mate. I was really feeling the need to. Letting it all out.
"There are...rules and protocols, a lone wolf must follow, should this type of issue ever arise..."
She immediately turned her head to look at me, watching me with interest.
"He's a pack wolf, a very high-ranked one and I..." Fuck.
I could already feel myself wanting to cry again after saying it out loud, forcibly swallowing that lump forming in my throat.
"The protocol states that if a lone wolf finds their mate in a pack, they must immediately leave their family, their home to join their mate's," My voice trembled, swallowing again as I fought those damned tears with all I had.
"Can't he do it instead, like join your family or whatever?"
*If only.*
I shook my head in response and took another encouraging swig from the bottle.
"He wouldn't be allowed to, he's way too important for the pack to let him go and live as a lone wolf. If he was an omega, maybe, but not as a beta,"
"He's kinda like the king's general, to put it simple," I said and threw her a glance, earning myself a quick nod from her.
"Even if he'd be willing to give up his title, his status and everything to be with me the pack wouldn't allow it,"
"He was born from Beta blood, born to command. It's his birthright and in pack society, you don't get to renounce your birth duties that easily,"
"Especially someone of his importance,"
"And because I'm just a puny and unimportant lone wolf it would be only natural for me to be the one to give up MY life, MY family and MY home to join his pack and everything that comes with it," A small whimper escaped me by the end of that sentence, feeling so bitter at the thought of what I just said. Leaving my family. My life.
My wolf whined too, torn by sadness and pain at the idea of having to separate from our family so that we could be with our mate, curling up herself into a grieving ball within me.
*Fuck.* I quickly wiped another stray tear that had fallen over my cheek before taking another quick and hearty gulp.
"But I don't want that, I don't want to leave my family! I don't want to give up my peace and freedom for that stupid pack life and those idiotic rules!" I cried out with anger and rebuttal, carelessly slamming the bottle on the stone slab we were sitting on.
I wasn't against the idea of having a mate. I really wasn't. I wanted to discover what it felt like. I wanted to feel those magical sparks and everything that came with the mating bond. But at the same time, I didn't want to do it. I've lived all my life completely free and able to do whatever I pleased and whenever I pleased to, happy and content with my small family and our simple ways. I was afraid to give all that away just so that I could discover what a mate bond felt like. It was too much of a price to pay.
"So...don't," She quickly said in reply from right next to me.
"What's stopping you?
If you don't want to be with him then don't,"
I blew out a sigh, expressing a humorless smile before lightly shaking my head.
*If only.*
"It's not that easy.
We have a bond, now that we've found each other,"
"Our wolves will start yearning to be together. They will drive us crazy if we don't..." mate soon.
I could feel my cheeks heating up at the thought of that, forcefully trying to push away all those unwanted mental images of David and I together, completely naked and doing what every mated couple normally did.
My wolf immediately reacted, purring at the idea.
No! We can't be with him like that. He's a pack wolf, remember? I quickly reminded her, feeling her huff with annoyance and retreat. I knew that she'd react like this. That she was going to be difficult to reason with. She was already starting to feel that pressing need, that innate instinct to offer herself to him. She was his after all, no matter how hard we tried to deny it. His destined one.
"I'm sorry,"
My head snapped in Carrie's direction as soon as she uttered those two simple words, immediately realizing why she'd said them.
She was feeling guilty. For helping me get my wolf out, and thus getting me in this impossible situation.
"No don't be," I offered her a reassuring smile.
"I've missed feeling her and having her communicating with me. She's been gone for so long, she almost had me worried,"
"I'm so happy that she's back, even though her resurfacing made me discover that my mate's the fucking royal commander," I lastly added with an overly-exaggerated eye-roll, earning myself an amused laugh from her.