The sounds of our cutlery occasionally clinking against our plates kept cutting through the deafening silence, echoing so painfully loud into our small and crammy dining room.
I took another piece of the cooked meat and shoved it in my mouth, slowly chewing whilst my gaze rose from my plate and strolled around for the millionth time that night, stealthily peeking at each member of my family.
The twins, auntie Mary and uncle John, my cousins Archie and Leia, and lastly, my parents.
They hadn't uttered a single word all evening. *Zero.* Nada. Not even my baby sisters, CeeCee and Bryn who were usually so annoyingly vocal.
They could smell them on me again. Of that I was a hundred percent sure. The future king's warriors, Zara and Brie. They've been following me around at school all day, now that they were slowly starting to warm up to us, the future luna's best friends.
They hadn't even met my wolf yet. But for some reason, that didn't seem to bother them at all, the future king's little clique.
They had arrived -or more like returned- to our quiet small town just a few weeks ago when the future king decided that he should meet his betrothed, which happened to be one of my best friends from school, a human girl named Carrie.
He didn't really treat her too nice at first, because she was human and all that, but after he'd found out that she was actually his true soulmate all that changed. He started pursuing her, especially after noticing that his own beta had taken it upon himself to try and woo her instead, almost succeeding on stealing her from right under his nose.
He wasn't such a bad guy actually, our future king. Sure, maybe he liked too much putting up that whole heartless asshole façade but in reality, he wasn't all bad.
I've noticed the way he's been treating his second and third in command and his warriors, even when away from any prying eyes.
He wasn't treating them like they were his subjects but rather his...*friends.* Which was very odd to me at least, a wolf coming from a family of lone wolves.
I've spent all my childhood listening to my family's dark tales and warnings about the pack wolves' severe rules and cruelty. Especially the royal pack. They were the worst of them all, according to my family's belief.
They were vicious and unforgiving, and they hated our kind with a passion. They considered us useless and weak. A glitch in the Moon Goddess' creation, only deserving of death or mockery.
*And yet*...Here I was. Here we were. All safe and sound, and having our dinner like every other night.
The future king knew of our clan. Our existence. They all did. *Obviously.*
He knew what I was. Who my family was and even where we lived. He knew everything about me. About us. And that only made everything all the more confusing.
Well, at least for me since my family was still so hell-bent on believing that it was only a matter of time until he'd come barging through our front door with his clique of savages in tow and destroy our lives, one by one.
I was scared at first too. Hell, I was fucking scared shitless, the day they'd set foot in our school, acting all cold and bitchy as they went straight for my friend's throat. They pounced on her like a pack of hungry hyenas. They were evil and merciless, but she was smarter. And brave. She didn't let any of them mock her or bully her into submission. She fought with everything she had and met them at every cruel word or sneer, showing them that she didn't fear them. Even after finding out what they truly were.
*Maybe that's why the Moon Goddess chose her to be our future luna queen, regardless of the fact that she was human.*
I lightly smiled to myself at that thought, feeling so honoured to have her as a friend.
She did deserve to be queen. She was kind and protective, exactly like a true mother. She was made for this. Even my wolf seemed to agree, seeing as she was the only one who'd unknowingly made her want to resurface. She was the only one my wolf reacted to nowadays.
She'd buried herself so deep within me, that day when the royal pack arrived to our school, leaving me completely powerless and almost...human. Yeah, that's how much they managed to frighten her.
They scared us so bad that she went into defense mode and hid herself at the very back of my mind and soul, erasing any trace of my wolf scent or traits. She left me practically human, knowing that they wouldn't hurt me or even bother throwing a second glance in my direction for being just that. Human.
*Goddess, I miss her so much.*
I couldn't stop that small sigh that went past my lips after another swallowed piece of food, unconsciously placing my hand against the middle of my chest as that all-too-familiar hollow sensation returned within me, suddenly making me lose all appetite.
"I'm feeling full. May I be excused?" I didn't wait for ma or pa to answer as I already knew that they wouldn't bother, my chair scraping against the hard-wooden floor as I quickly got up from my seat, not failing to also notice the way their emotionless gazes shifted between my face and that hand plastered against my chest as they watched me move.
"Thank you for this meal, ma. It was delicious," I hurriedly said in my haste to get away from that table, almost missing my ma's toneless reply,
"I didn't cook it. Your cousin Leia did,"
I abruptly stopped mid-stride as if being zapped by a jolt of electricity, blinking a few times from the utter shock. I wasn't even sure if she'd actually talked to me or if it'd all been just in my imagination.
Slowly and hesitantly, I turned back around to face the table, noticing my ma's conflicted expression as she stared at her plate, confusing me even more before I averted my attention to my cousin Leia, meeting her uneasy and timid smile.
"Thank you," I awkwardly said with a mild stutter then turned around and headed straight for my room, still a little shook after whatever that was.
**
Softly humming a calming tune to myself, I absently stared at the ceiling whilst lost within my own mind, waiting to fall asleep.
Various random thoughts about school, my friends and those six royal pack wolves currently residing in our little town kept drifting around in my head, my eyes on the verge of closing as my hand kept soothingly rubbing over that area in the middle of my chest.
I was still feeling it. The hollowness. That empty spot where my wolf was supposed to be, eating at me like a black hole. There were days when I could sometimes sense faint traces of her presence, whenever I was close to my friend Carrie, the future luna. But that usually happened only when there was just the two of us. Which was almost never. Especially now that there was always at least one of Nathan's-the future king's gang members following us around like faithful little puppies.
I could understand why. They were naturally drawn to her. Their future queen. But that didn't stop me from feeling so tired already. So fed up with their presence. I just wanted them gone. Out of our town, out of our lives for good. I wanted my wolf back. I wanted her presence inside of me again. I wanted to shift. I wanted to be able to feel like I did before.
Sadly, I knew that if they did decide to leave they would take her too with them, seeing as she was the future king's destined one.
I knew how important mates were. At least for our kind. I could see it in any mated pair. I knew the tales. The power of this magical blessing bestowed upon us by the Moon Goddess.
I myself sometimes wondered what it would be like; that moment when I'd find my mate. What it would feel like.
Would I instantly fall in love with him or her? Would I feel that maddening attraction? Or would it start slower, making us fall for each other little by little like a human couple?
Either way, I had no way of finding out. At least not right now, as long as my wolf was still absent and I had no way of feeling or smelling our mate without her help.
I was powerless. Helpless, like a frail little human being.
The sound of my bedroom door opening had me snapping one eye open, the light peeking from the hallway outlining Leia's lithe form as she stepped inside, followed by Archie.
She paused upon noticing that hand still pressing against my chest whilst her brother went to rummage through his travelling backpack, fishing out some sleeping clothes before going to my en-suite bathroom to prepare for the night.
They had come to visit us, them and their parents, my auntie Mary and uncle John. And since there was such little space to share in our crammy house my parents decided that it would be only natural for me to share my bedroom with my cousins just like we used to back when we were little since it was the bigger one between the twins' and mine, leaving my uncle and auntie free to occupy the only available guest bedroom in our house.
"How is it? Can you feel her?" She quietly asked, her sweet voice lined with a twinge of hope.
At least she was kind enough to care. That's what I liked about her. Even though my entire family was currently treating me like an outcast, she refused to do the same.
Mustering up a small and lifeless smile, I lightly shook my head in response.
"I'm so sorry, Jess," She came closer to the bed and sat next to me, gently placing a comforting hand on my arm.
I only looked up at her, the sound of the bathroom door being flung open swiftly putting an end to that moment as she averted her attention to her brother, giving him a casual look before she got up and went to retrieve her pyjamas, taking her turn to use the bathroom.
Archie's foldable bed let out a loud creak as his massive weight dipped in it, hearing him shuffle and then sigh before mumbling a quiet "goodnight".
"Goodnight," My weak response was barely audible, keeping my gaze trained to the ceiling as my mind was still revolving around thoughts about my wolf.
I just wished she would stop feeling so scared and come back to me. I needed a fighting chance. We needed to let them meet us. Maybe if she did allow herself to feel them and let them feel her too in return then she would stop hiding.
*It would be so much easier, for all of us.*
I heard them bathroom door being pulled open once again, followed by Leia's soft steps over the carpeted floor.
The side of my bed dipped as she climbed in it and laid herself down next to me, noticing her face in my peripheral vision as she placed her head on her arm and looked at me.
"I wish we could help you somehow," She quietly whispered, making me close my eyes.
*Yeah, I kinda wish that too.*
"I've tried reaching out for a few times now but she wouldn't let me. It's like she created this impenetrable wall around her,"
She definitely did. Even I can't feel her anymore.
"We can't even smell her anymore. Not even the faintest trace,"
"I know. I-"
"Would you two shut up already? I'm trying to sleep here," Archie's grumbling tone suddenly interrupted us, making me roll my eyes in annoyance.
"More like trying to make yourself a cocoon out of those poor sheets. I can hear you-" I paused to raise myself into a sitting position and throw a pillow at him,
"tossing and turning like a damn squirming worm in that stupid creaky bed from all the way here," I finished, watching him throw me a murderous look back, mere moments before the pillow war started.