Chapter 22 Chapter 22
Chapter 22: I hope your world forgives me..
~ Ignas
He said nothing, and somehow, that silence hurt more than if he had screamed.
I stared at him, feeling my heart racing, my lungs dragging in the cold night air like it would steady me, like it could protect me from the weight and gravity of what I had seen. The burns on his back. The marred, angry skin that told me more than any words ever could. He didn’t need to explain. I already knew what he had done. I felt it deep in my bones, like a truth I’d always known but had prayed never to see.
He had gone to that pack alone and he had burned it down. For me. Because they had hurt me and he…I knew it. The look on his eyes that night. I was drowsy and weak and sick, but I had grasped that look in his eyes.
“Lykon,” I said again, softer this time.
His eyes that was still glowing faintly gold, flicked to mine. There was so much buried behind them. I saw anger, confusion, betrayal. But under all of it… pain. Not from the wounds.
From me.
“I didn’t ask you to do that,” I whispered. “You could’ve been killed.”
He stepped back like the words had struck him. “But I wasn’t,” he said, voice low and sharp. “I’m still here. Still breathing. Still wondering why the hell you keep running from me.”
My lips parted, but he didn’t let me speak.
“You were in my room. Why?” he demanded. “Why did you come if you were just going to run?”
I swallowed, hating how exposed I felt. “I—”
“You what?” His voice cracked, not loud but full. “Want to make sure I’m still alive? Want to see what’s left of me? Or were you just looking for something to hate?”
“That’s not fair,” I snapped.
He laughed, bitter and breathless. “None of this is fair, Ignas. I don’t even know who the hell I am, but I know you. I remember you. You were the first thing I saw when I woke up in that damned bed. You were the only thing that felt real.”
I froze.
“I remember your voice,” he said, stepping closer. “I remember the way your hand shook when you touched mine. And I remember you pulling away like I was poison. Like I did something so terrible you couldn’t even look at me.”
“Stop.” My voice cracked.
“No,” he hissed. “Tell me the truth. What was I to you before all this? A monster? A mistake?”
He was breathing hard, chest rising and falling like he’d just run another mile chasing me down. His words were barbed, raw with need and desperation, and I could barely stand the weight of it.
“I’m not asking you to lie,” he continued, softer now. “I just need to know… Did I hurt you?”
Yes.
No.
You saved me. You destroyed me.
I couldn’t say any of it.
Instead, I turned away, gripping the edge of the stone fountain like it would keep me upright. “You were the best thing that ever happened to me, Lykon.”
The words came out hollow. Cracked at the edges.
I felt him behind me, his heat ghosting over my skin like a fire too close.
“But…” he said quietly.
“But you were betrayed,” I whispered. “By someone close. And I don’t want you to remember that pain.”
Silence again. A heavy, brutal thing. Then a sharp inhale behind me.
“So, you’ll just keep lying?” His voice was quieter now. Not angry. Just… tired.
I turned, meeting his gaze. “I’m trying to protect you.”
He stepped closer. “And what if I don’t want to be protected? What if I want the truth, even if it ruins me?”
My throat ached. I looked away. “Then I would still lie. Because I care for you enough to carry that ruin myself.”
Something in his expression shifted. His face softened. His lips parted, but no words came out.
I moved then, wordless, pulling him gently by the hand toward the garden bench. He didn’t fight me. Just followed, quiet and burning.
Once he sat, I knelt behind him, fingers trembling as I reached for the hem of his shirt.
“Let me clean the burns,” I whispered.
He tensed under my touch. “You don’t have to—”
“I want to.”
I lifted the shirt, and the wounds made my breath hitch. Red, angry flesh stretched across his back, twisted and raw. He had done this. For me. And I had let him believe he was nothing more than a ghost of a past he didn’t deserve.
I soaked a cloth and began to dab at the skin gently. He didn’t flinch. He didn’t even speak. But I saw his hands curled into fists on his knees.
“You were always reckless,” I murmured, voice shaking as I worked. “Always the first to throw yourself into danger. But you never let anyone see how much it hurts.”
His voice was low. “I didn’t care if it hurt.”
“You should have.”
The cloth slipped in my grip, and I pressed my forehead against his shoulder, unable to stop the tears anymore. “You don’t remember what we were… and maybe that’s for the best. But I do. I remember everything. And every time I look at you, I see the man who saved me, even when I didn’t want to be saved.”
His hand reached back blindly, fingers brushing mine.
I held onto him, just for a moment. Just to feel something other than guilt.
“Why him?” he asked suddenly. “Roy. Why do you let him so close?”
I froze. Then answered honestly. “Because he remembers everything. He has been there for me for a very long time. And for a while, that made it easier. Pretending none of this existed. Roy is my best friend, Lykon.”
“And now?”
I pulled away, finishing the cleaning with soft strokes. “Now it just makes everything worse.”
He stood slowly, turning to face me. “You can keep hiding from the past if you want. But I’m not hiding from you.”
His hand came up, brushing a tear from my cheek. “You are my world, Ignas. Even if I don’t know what that means y
et.”
I closed my eyes.
And whispered, “Then I hope your world forgives me. For everything I can’t say.”