Chapter 7: The Morning After

Danton made us run till my knee stopped screaming and started begging.

He made us bag skates, ran us through suicide drills and line rushes till everyone’s tongues hung out in harsh pants. It was a brutal punishment for a loss like last night’s. Only that last night’s loss wasn’t everyone’s fault, it was one guy’s; and that guy took it personally.

I watched Cassian through every drill.

He skated harder and faster than anyone else, when everyone lagged behind, he pushed forward; when others slowed down, he accelerated. His face was stony with pure determination; set jaw, and focused eyes.

It was like he was trying to burn the bad game out of his system; out of his memory.

I knew before I’d been there, I’d skated till my legs threatened to give out, then I skated some more. I tried to exhaust myself past the point of feeling, but it never worked. The bad games stayed in your mind no matter how much you try to get rid of them.

Practice ended and the guys dragged themselves off the rink to shower, get food and rest.

I stayed behind, sitting on the bench as I watched Cassian.

He skated alone, lap after lap, with no particular drilll or puck; he just skated hard and fast, like he was punishing himself. His breath came out in visible puffs, and his jersey was soaked, but he still didn’t stop.

I stood up and walked towards the boards, stepping onto the ice.

The cold bit into my soaked jersey, and my knee ached in protest, but I ignored it.

I skated towards him, everywhere was so quiet I could hear my blades cut through the ice and the sound of Cassian’s ragged breathing.

He didn’t stop to look at me, he kept skating.

“You’re going to wear yourself out.”

He still didn’t stop. “I’m going to get better.”

I matched his pace, skating beside him as I tried to talk sense into him. “You’re going to hurt yourself at this rate.”

He skidded to a halt, and turned to face me.

His face was flushed; his hair plastered to his forehead, his eyes were wild and bright with something I couldn’t name, sweat dripped down his temples as his chest heaved.

He looked so breathtaking it made my heart clench.

“Why do you care?” He asked.

I thought about my answer carefully.

“I care because I’m your Captain.” My voice came out softly. “I care because you have more talent than anyone I’d ever seen, and because if you destroy yourself, we’ll all lose.”

I paused, letting the words hang.

“And I care because I can’t help it.”

He stared at me.

The wildness in his eyes shifted and softened into something raw and open.

“No one has ever said that before.” He said. “The talent part.”

My chest ached.

“Not everyone recognizes talent when they see it, but I do.”

I held his gaze for a minute, then two, then five; long enough to feel the pull between us, the attraction I kept trying to ignore.

I turned and skated towards the bench.

“Get something to eat, and then get adequate rest; we play Montreal tomorrow.”

I stepped off the ice, grabbed my bottle and didn’t look back.

“That reminds me, a media crew is coming in tomorrow to shoot a documentary on our team, so be prepared for that.”

I didn’t see his smile; but somehow, I felt it.

————

I made it to the tunnel before I stopped to catch my breath.

‘I care because you have more talent than anyone I’d ever seen….’

I should not have said that, it seemed too personal; too close to the point I’ve been trying to run from.

But it was the truth.

And he looked at me like no one had ever told him that before.

My phone buzzed.

Unknown number: Did you mean what you said about me having talent?

I stared at the screen, I should save his number; but then, saving his number was a way of me taking a step towards admitting I had feelings for him.

I shouldn’t do it.

I did it anyway.

Me: I don’t say things I do not mean.

Cassian: What else do you mean?

This was a dangerous question to answer.

Me: Get off the ice, Pike; and get something to eat.

Cassian: Come with me, let’s eat together.

My breath hitched as I thought of how that would go down. Cassian having some ketchup on the corner of his lips; I lean in to wipe it off with my thumb, bringing my thumb to my lips as I suck on it while maintaining eye contact with him.

Fuck!

Me: That’s not a good idea.

Cassian: Why not?

Because I want to eat with you so bad, because I want to eat you instead, because every moment I spend with you makes it hard to remember why I should stay away from you; because every time I look at you, I forget how to breathe.

But instead, I typed back—

Me: Because I have film to review.

Cassian: You’re such a liar.

I smiled.

Me: Go get some food, Pike.

Cassian: Only if you promise you’ll get something to eat too.

Me: I promise.

Cassian: Good.

I put my phone away and walked towards the locker room.

My knee throbbed, my head hurt, my body ached; but underneath all that, something dangerous simmered.

I ignored it.

Or tried to.

——-

The locker room was empty when I got there, all I met was the smell of sweat and the lingering ghost of last night's loss.

I sat in my stall, staring at nothing.

Few minutes later, the door to the locker room opened.

Cassian walked in, he’d already showered and changed; his hair was still damp, curling against his forehead. He wore joggers and a t-shirt that clung to his chest.

He stopped in his tracks when he saw me.

“You’re still here?”

“I’m doing a film review.”

He walked closer, stopping in front of my stall.

“I thought you said you had film to review.”

“I do.” I replied.

He raised an eyebrow as he looked at the tablet on my lap.

I looked down; the screen was black.

He didn’t say anything, he just looked at me with a knowing smile on his lips.

I grabbed my bag as I stood up. “I was just about to leave.”

“Of course you were.”

I walked towards the door, he didn’t move; I had to stop to keep from walking into him.

We stood face to face, and up close, I could see the gold flecks in his eyes and the little freckles scattered across his smooth face.

“You should get some food.” I said, trying to fill the silence.

“You should come with me.” He replied.

“I can’t.”

“Why?”

Because I’m a Captain and you’re a rookie, because if I spend one more minute alone with you, I’ll do things I won’t be able to take back.

“Because I have a lot to do.”

He smiled mischievously like he could read my mind.

“Lying doesn’t suit you.”

He took a few steps forward, then stopped to look back at me.

“No one has ever stayed before, but you’re different, Torin; you’re making it really hard for me to keep my distance from you.”

Then he left.

I stood alone in the locker room, stunned as my heart threatened to beat out of my chest.

I didn’t eat dinner like Cassian asked me to; I worked instead.

But I thought about him the whole time.