Chapter 20: Broken

Maya's POV

The drive home was silent.

You know, there was some silence that was comfortable, you just feeling yourself and finding comfort and satisfaction just by being together without talking but this ... .this was the silence of a tomb.

Justin kept glancing at me. I could feel his eyes on the side of my face. Once, twice, three times.

But I didn't look back at him. Nah, I wasn't going to do that.

My eyes were fixed on the window, on the streetlights passing, on the darkness between them, on anything that wasn't him. And I tried my best not to cry.

Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't give him the satisfaction.

A tear slipped down my cheek.

It's the wind. That's what I'll tell him if he asks.

It's just the wind.

Another tear. Then another.

Who is he, really? Who is Cynthia? What were they to each other?

What ring? Were they engaged?

Did he leave her? Did she leave him? Are they still together?

Why didn't he tell me?

God. I feel like an idiot.

I pressed my forehead against the cold glass. The tears kept falling and I didn't even have the strength to wipe them away.

You're such a fool, Maya. Such a stupid, naive fool.

You actually thought…

You actually believed…

He said he saw you like a little sister. He said that.

And you still…You still…

I don't even know what hurts me more, whether it's the idea of him having a girlfriend and not telling me or the fact that I was…I was already….

Oh my God.

Stop crying. Don't cry.

You've survived worse than this. Sarah destroyed your reputation, the whole school turned against you and you survived all of that.

You can survive a broken heart. You can survive him.

The car stopped.

I looked up. We were in front of my apartment building. The lights were on in the living room. My father must be awake.

Please don't come outside.

Please don't see me like this.

I reached for the door handle but Justin's hand caught mine.

"Are you going to keep silent on me?" His voice was quiet. "Was that part of the agreement?"

The agreement.

The fake relationship agreement. The one where he pretends to care and where I pretend not to fall in love with him.

I yanked my hand back and turned to face him. The tears were falling faster now. I couldn't stop them.

"What agreement, Justin?" My voice cracked and broke. "Tell me what agreement. Is it the one where you don't tell me you have a fiancée?"

He flinched.

Good.

Feel something. Feel what I'm feeling.

"What do you think people will say?" I wiped my face with the back of my hand. The tears kept coming. "What do you think they'll say when they find out? Huh? Does it not prove them right? Does it not prove that I'm exactly what they said I am?"

"Maya…."

"A manipulator, a seductress, a girl who spreads her legs for anyone who can help her." My voice was shaking. My whole body was shaking. "That's what they'll say. That's what everyone will say."

"Oh for God's sake, stop it."

"Does it not prove Sarah right? Does it not prove that I'm exactly the kind of girl who…"

"MAYA, STOP IT."

His voice was loud and sharp. He never raised his voice at me. Never.

I stopped.

The silence rushed back in. It was thicker and heavier this time.

"I'm tired," I whispered. "I'm so tired, Justin. I'm tired of everything. I'm tired of people playing with my emotions like I'm a toy, like I don't have blood running through my veins, like I don't have a heart that can break or like I'm not even real to you people."

He reached for me but I pulled back.

"Don't."

"Maya, please… just listen…"

"Listen? Listen to what? More lies? More secrets? More things you conveniently forgot to tell me?"

He ran a hand through his hair. Frustrated.

"You are not even giving me any chance to talk.”

"What the hell do you want to say?” I raised my voice. “Do you admit it?" My voice was barely a whisper. "You admit you have a girlfriend?"

He looked down and didn't say anything and that was answer enough.

The silence was louder than any scream.

Oh my God. He has a girlfriend. That beautiful lady is truly his girlfriend.

He never broke up with her, he's been with her this whole time, while pretending to be with me and kissing me.

While looking at me like I was the only person in the world.

I've been the other woman.

I've been….

"I must have been such a fool," I said.

"Maya….You’re deciding everything before I say a word.”

"Please. Just let me go."

I opened the door, got out and didn't look back.

The cold air hit my face. My legs were shaking and my heart was shattered.

Don't look back. Don't look back. Don't look back.

I heard his car door open.

"Maya…"

I walked faster.

The door slammed behind me. The engine didn't start. He was still sitting there and watching.

Go home, Justin. Go back to your fiancée and to your real life and leave me in mine.

The apartment was quiet. Way too quiet.

Ohh God. My papa. Please don't be home.

Please let me sneak in, let me crawl into my bed and disappear.

I opened the door.

My father was standing by the dining table. His arms were crossed and his face was hard. His eyes…. his eyes were wounded. Like someone had stabbed him and he couldn't figure out who.

I froze.

"Maya Valentina Delgado."

My full name. I can't remember the last time he called me that. He almost never calls me that and when he does…

When he does, it's never good.

"Papa..." My voice was small and scared. A little girl's voice. "Si?"

He held up his hand.

In it were printed photos. The same ones from the hallway and from the locker. Me, unconscious and the boy on top of me.

How? No. No. No.

How did it get here? How did it get to him?

I'm finished.

Did he go to my school?

Or…or someone must have shown him. Someone must have….

"Maya….What is the meaning of this?"