Chapter 31: Chapter 31

Misty

I could tell how deeply Alley’s loss had wounded Beck; there was a strain in his voice as he spoke, like it was the first time in decades he was speaking about her life since she died. It was apparent that the topic was a heavy weight in his heart.

“She sounds like someone I wish I got to know,” I said quietly.

Beck just nodded, his mind obviously reminiscing, and that would soon set him into a spiral. I sat with him for a while like that, just thinking. Trying to imagine a bond so immense, a love so great that it tore this mountain of a man apart. I came up short. It was something I could never understand, just like this tie Adelaide had with Creedon that was slowly trying to kill her. I patted his arm before I untangled my own. Beck stirred from his memories and looked at me.

“I need to do more research on the cameras. The Sheriff agrees it would be a good idea,” I told him. I got up and went to my computer. Beck followed, pulling up a chair after collecting us each a beer, and a normal evening commenced. However, I found my mind wondering about what this woman looked like, what her favorite food was, and if she loved Beck as deeply as he loved her. I had only grazed the surface of what I wanted to know, and I couldn’t fathom why the topic mattered so much. Maybe because it was the first raw glimpse into this man who had inserted himself as not just Adelaide’s protector but mine and Cricket’s as well. There was a depth to this man he didn’t let anyone touch, and I found I wanted to hold it and bring it back into the light. It was a stupid notion; I didn’t save men from themselves. I stayed far away from anything complicated when it came to the opposite sex. But he deserved a life beyond the servitude he had placed upon himself in his grief. I wanted to see this man truly live, and when I was sure he could, I would let him be the guide Cricket so desperately needed. That was my measure, I decided, because a man looking forward to death, one who wallowed in grief, couldn’t be a light to shine in the way my daughter needed him to. When he wanted more from his life than saving everyone for the errors he made in his past, I would relent. Until then, I had to wear away at that stony exterior of his, until I could properly see him. So that I knew exactly who he was and that he could be trusted with Cricket’s wellbeing, not just her safety. That’s when I realized I was now making a plan B since my bestie was a wild card in the surviving sense. If something happened to me, Adelaide had always been the next in line to care for my daughter, if she didn’t make it, Beck was the only person I could trust, my sisters didn’t know what she was. And I refused to subjugate her to my parents. They would raise her just like they raised me; hell would freeze over first.

Monday came and the car didn’t come on time from Negan,  my texts to him received no answer. I was a mounting pit of anxiety when Beck came up behind me, placing his hand on my shoulder in reassurance and surprising me by kissing the top of my head and telling me.

“I’ve got her, go down to Valentina,” he rumbled. “We will deal with the car situation later. I have a few wannabes that I’d like to knock their skulls together,” he said, grabbing his keys and I followed him downstairs as he held her helmet under the crook of his arm. The last hour I worked as I stressed about it all.

I obeyed only because I didn’t have another choice. I had called the school and put her on the bus as Beck had instructed. I had added him to everything this morning while running an errand for Valentina. I realized that if something happened to me he was the only one who could save her, so I had relented. My greatest fear was that as her mother, I had chosen wrong. I was pacing the kitchen as I worked. A ball of stress churning in the pit of my stomach. My eyes kept darting to my phone. I was so distracted I cut my finger pretty deep, chopping onions. I gripped a hand towel around the digit and slid to my ass against the counter, down to the floor. I didn’t think he would, but he had the power to just take her and I would be powerless to get her back. Just then my phone dinged with an incoming message and I reached up, fumbling for it and brought it to eye level.

Beck: mini backpack engaged.

I sighed in relief

Me: bring her back to mama

I didn’t fully know what his agenda was, but I figured it had something to do with making the wolf pups respect the bear cub they had banded together to torment.

Valentina chose that moment to walk in. She peered shrewdly down at me. “I thought I smelled blood,” she said, shaking her head. She grabbed the first aid kit off where it hung on the wall and walked over to me, dragging a chair with her.

“Let me see,” I gave her my hand, and she carefully took it in her wrinkled one, unwrapping the dish towel to inspect it. “I would tell you that you need stitches, but you wouldn’t listen to me anyway,” she said with a sigh. She poured a disinfectant solution over my hand, and I jerked at the pain it caused as I cursed. She wrapped up my finger and we stared at each other.

“Nina, I’m going to tell you this once,” she said, tucking the supplies away. “He’s one you don’t have to worry about,” she said with a sigh.

“How do you know?” I blurted and she cocked her head looking at me as if I were dumb.

“Even humans have instincts, what do yours tell you about him?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t trusted mine since Cricket’s father,” I admitted.

Valentina gave me a hard,disappointing look.

“Don’t confuse your willingness to respond to his instincts as your own. Find your own, learn to trust them, and things like this won’t happen,” she said, raising my bandaged hand to my eyelevel. Her words had me utterly confused as she stood and walked away.

The door to the back kitchen burst opened as Beck strode in with Cricket’s hand in his. Beck’s nostrils flared and Cricket mimicked the motion.

“You’re bleeding,” he stated, his posture rigid as he let go of Cricket and his free hand flexed.

“It was an accident," I said.

“Are you okay, Mom?” Cricket asked as she rushed me, his arms circling my neck.

“I’m fine sweetheart,” I said, pulling her tight to me for a long moment and mouthing a thank you to Beck. He just nodded as Cricket began to chatter.

“Beck showed up right when Ethan tried to get me to come at him,” Cricket giggled. “He peed himself when he saw Beck.”

I couldn’t help the snort I released.

“Easy ‘little bear,’” Beck said, crouching down and pulling her back to give me space. She looked between us as he studied me as if he saw every thought that crossed my mind when he left me alone. “Maybe now you will have more faith in me,” he murmured lowly. I just nodded and the next thing I knew he was helping me up. “I’m going to go ask Valentina to watch Cricket, and you are going to go do that thing you do to get this dipshit’s attention. We are going to get your car and knock a few skulls together,” he promised. I nodded and called to Cricket who was peaking out of the kitchen into the shop.

“Cricket, let’s go get you fed, I have to change,” I let her know.