Chapter 20: Chapter 20

Misty

“I know exactly what she is capable of with a knife.”

Beck’s eyes stared back unconvinced. He didn’t know what I did.

“When did you meet her?” he asked

“She showed up at a party I went to because she overheard a group of guys saying they were going to roofie somebody. They succeeded but she intercepted me at the bathroom and took me out of there before they could do anything. She stayed with me all night. I vomited all over her bed and we have been besties ever since. Parties weren't her scene but she chose to rescue me anyway.” I explained.

“She’s a true friend,” he observed.

“The realest,” I admitted. “I don’t think I would be alive today if it wasn’t for her. She has done more for me than I will admit to anyone. I will hold those secrets till I die.” I left him realizing he wouldn’t get more out of me on the subject. The next singer, clearly trying too hard as they tried to put on a show, but it gave me an idea I’d save for later.

We ordered food, and I got a coffee inspired cocktail while Beck chose to nurse a short whiskey.

“So, tell me about yourself, the good, the bad, the ugly. I don’t care which, you’ve been sleeping on my couch for weeks and I barely know you,” I prompted. The waitress brought us our drinks at that moment and a bowl of caramel coated peanuts to munch on. I popped one into my mouth as I raised my eyebrow at Beck, letting him know he hadn’t gotten off without answering me. I sucked on the delicious sweet and salty treat, savorig it. His eyes zeroed in on my mouth as I swirled the peanut around in my mouth.

“Yeah, I suck balls the same way. Your turn!” I let him know as his eyes bugged out of his head and he let out a cough. “Listen, you wanted to go out. So you are getting the unfiltered version. I have to mind my swearing and my filthy innuendo 24/7, deal with it.” Beck tried to stifle the laugh that refused to be silenced and soon gave up, letting it rip out..

“Sorry, it's just that, that was unexpected,” he said, recovering.

“It’s my goal in life to disarm people, gotta keep them on their toes, make them feel more comfortable by making them uncomfortable first. Now come on Mr. saves women in distress, tell me about you,” I said. I watched him sigh as he leaned back in his chair, hands behind his head as he stared up at a beam in the ceiling.

“I’m not much for talking about myself, most of the people I come in contact with don’t bother, there are those I help and those I hurt, neither one is in a mindset to chat, well until you, I suppose we are helping each other, I know in order for you to solidify trust in me I need to tell you more about myself but the reality is that since I lost my mate, I have been on this journey in her name, I don’t know why I keep doing it, it's become a compulsion. Maybe it's some hopeless way to redeem myself for the guilt of not being there to protect Alley when it mattered.” He lifted his glass and  took a drink then and I found myself mirroring him as if we were toasting his dead mate.

“I think she would be proud of you,” I said softly. He looked at me then.

“I don’t know that she could ever forgive me for not being there. The things she went through because I had to save face and not listen to her beg me to stay because my sleuth brothers wanted to go on a long run to fuck some shit up over meaningless petty bullshit. She never told me about the one stalking her, now I’ll never know why,” he said, emotions flitting across his grey eyes as he fell into a memory.

“I know it’s stupid, but I like to think the dead forgive everything in this life before crossing over. Spending the afterlife in regret and anger seems like a waste,” I found myself telling him.

“I don’t think it's stupid, deep down I guess, it's a matter of learning to forgive myself,” he said, his eyes looked me over as if something was revealed to him.

“You said Adelaide helped you with Cricket’s dad?”

“Yeah, like I said before, she sent me off to her mom’s, it was the only time I ever met Jake. I don’t know what happened but I never saw him again after that,” I told him trying to think of a way to veer him into a different subject as I lied out of my teeth..

“She didn’t stay there with you?”

“No,” I found I couldn’t lie further..

“She’s tougher than I gave her credit for,” he admitted.

“Well, when you grow up being the outcast in a small town you have to be. She only kept going back to that place for her mother. The few interactions I saw weren’t pleasant ones,” I explained.

“That’s why I worry so much about Cricket, I know this place can’t be endgame. I save as much as I can, because though I know I can have a good life here, Cricket needs more. I’m not blind to that. I just don’t know how to guide her through everything that's to come,” I told him, honestly.

He reached across and squeezed my hand.

“If you will allow me to be, I’ll be her guardian. Teach her all the things she needs to know about being a shifter in today's world. It just means I’ll be her guild in that aspect. Kinda like a godfather in the human sense,” I offered. The little girl needed somebody.

I took a long drink from my cocktail thinking about it. Cricket needed someone’s support in a way I would never be able to be. Adelaide came to mind, but she wasn’t a bear from what we could tell, not to mention the hard fact that she may not survive this. My heart clenched at that thought and I pushed it aside. She’d get through this, she had to. However, I wasn’t there with Beck just yet. So instead I said, “I’ll consider it.” Then I thought to move the conversation to lighter things. I wanted to see who he was outside of his burdens.

“What’s the stupidest thing you did as a kid?” I asked out of the blue.

He laughed. “I did a lot of stupid shit as a heathen child,” he said.

“You?” he asked, purposefully not answering my question. This wouldn’t do, so I  I decided to implement my earlier plan.