Chapter 16: Chapter 16
Misty
I came home to an empty apartment. It felt weird due to the fact that Beck was usually here. I realized I had gotten used to his presence when I came home. I forced myself to shrug it off and opened the pastry bag as I sat at my kitchen counter and let my conversation with Adelaide sink in. Guilt, anger and an overwhelming doom of helplessness overwhelmed me. I bit into the pastry a little aggressively due to my mood. The chocolate and hazelnut filling burst over my tongue and I groaned as it mixed with the buttery flakiness of the exquisite pastry crust. I held onto the moment as if it were euphoric. Damn it was good and I opted to savor it unlike every meal I had rushed to finish so I could clean up, or the ones I barely tasted as my mind was too focused on other things. I could give myself five damn minutes to enjoy this fucking little bit of heaven. So I did as I sipped the lukewarm coffee that had notes of dark forests and warm summer days lacing into my senses. The bear knew his food it seemed. I let myself have a few moments as a momentary pause. I did however wonder where he was, as I ate, enjoying the peace as I savored the flavors. As the last of the coffee and pastry were consumed, doubt crept in. Maybe he had left, perhaps this was a parting gift and we were now on our own. I found that bothered me and I fell into what I could do—clean, whether the practically empty and already tidy apartment needed it or not. I went from top to bottom dusting with the music blaring from my computer speakers as all the counters and table tops were wiped down and organized. He walked in two hours later as I was furiously mopping a spot I knew wouldn’t come up. I just couldn’t help but attempt the effort every time to try to get it out. The tile was stained, it was fruitless. My movements frantic as my mind spiraled. What would I tell Cricket, she and Beck had become two peas in pod. I had thought that he had taken her under his wing. Just when I thought the universe had sent me help to deal with my ex’s family it was too good to be true, my burdens, my messy life choices. Why did I always have to be too much. Adelaide the only light in the endless tunnel of my despair; she wasn’t here to guide me out of it. She was broken, drownding in her own well of lament and I was too far beneath my own self inflicted waves to pull her out.
The lock clicked and the door opened, and I whirled around only to see Beck walking in with his arms full of bags. I huffed, annoyed he had caused me to venture down the stupid rabbit hole where I realized he mattered to us, that his absence would hurt not only Cricket, but me as well and that had been a freaking hard pill to swallow. I hated that I liked him, that I couldn’t help but try to force the stereotypes of the others I knew like him before onto him. I had given him the benefit of a doubt because of Adelaide. Watching him walk in the door after riding the waves of emotion that had coursed through me when I had expected the worst, just aggravated me to all hell.
I went back to what I was doing, trying to ignore his infuriating presence.
He set the bags on the couch, and I could feel his eyes on me, analysing as I kept scrubbing the same stupid spot on the floor and telling myself he hadn’t left, everything would be okay, I wasn’t alone in my situation. I zeroed in on the motion of the mop, ignoring everything else but when his heavy hands gently rested on my shoulders, the dam of my emotions fluctuated and wavered. I spun on him, sticking my finger into his chest.
“Don’t ever fucking do that again!”
“Do what, Misty?” His voice was laced with concern and confusion.