Chapter 50: two options

I didn't realise I was holding my breath till I stepped into the office.

“Good morning miss issa” I said trying to act like I just didn't have a back and forth with Ethan in the hallways.

Miss issa sat behind her desk, hair tied in a messy bun and her glasses rested on her nose and she was flipping through the pages of a file.

My files.

Amazing.

She looked up for a brief moment. “Ah, tessa sit”

My jaw tightened. No teacher says you should sit if it's good news.

Right?

I swallowed then slowly sat on the hot seat.

Before she looked up again, the door opened again and walked in.

I didn't turn– I didn't need to.

“Good you're both here” she said, closing the file gently “this won't take long” She took off her glasses and placed them on the table, folded her arms and leaned back on her chair.

“Tessa” she started “i have been watching you and your performance have been improving”

I sucked in a breath. That is a good thing right?

Improvement equals good, right?  I’m literally losing my shit right now.

“These past months have been your best so far, i mean your submission, participation” she paused “your transformation and confidence”

Credit goes to Klaus for the confidence part. I was now smiling, maybe this wasn’t so bad afterall.

“Thank you miss issa”

“But–”

There it was, the inevitable ‘but’. It has to be the most unwanted and hated English word to exist. My  smile dropped.

She  lowered her voice “your improvement is good but we don’t need gradual progress, we need something significant that will reflect on your academic records”

She withdrew and brought out two papers from her desk.

“Because I see your determination and I'm also determined to make sure you get in–” she pushed the papers towards my direction "I have been able to accumulate two possible solutions for you”

I stared at the papers but didn't dare pick them up.

“First option which is my favourite” she started tapping on the paper on my right “its a three-day interschool academic trip” i looked down at the sheet “it involves practical observation and collaboration with other schools including international schools”

That sounded fun and terrifying at the same time. Go on a trip with a bunch of people I have never seen before. Lets hope the next option is good.

“Just your attendance and a three page report will significantly boost your grades, you might not even need the school play anymore”

Tempting but–

“There is a fee included”

As expected. It was looking too good to be true.

“A hundred dollars, however–” she added almost immediately “ i have covered half of it”

“You what?!” I almost screamed.

“It's an opportunity that I believe you can make good use of,” she said “and the fact that I paid half of it doesn’t mean you can’t take the second option… no pressure”

Yeah right.

NO PRESSURE!!

That was plenty of pressure.

I almost turned to see if I was the only one that got the very pressurizing message but nope. Ethan and I aren't exactly friends at the moment.

I felt him shift behind me. That was enough.

She tapped on the other paper. “Option two” she looked at me “a double examination programme”

What the fuck was that?

“Its a new initiative for students who did not start the academic year on a stable ground, health issues,personal issues, loss of a loved one?”

My chest tightened. Guess I fall into that category. Kind of?

“If you qualify you’ll seat for an advanced set of exams that's more intense and demanding" she stared at me “this option is something i would run from if i were you”

“How demanding is this… exam” i asked quietly

“More demanding than the SATs”  she answered without blinking once. It was clear she had already accessed my chances with his option and the results ain’t pretty.

Great.

“You’l need to put in extra work than you ever have in your entire life” she held my hands “tessa people go mad whilst seating for this exams”

That sent a shiver down my spin.

So trip or torture.

“Do… I have to choose now?”

“Oh definitely not immediately” she said and i heaved a sigh of relief a little too quickly “but the deadline is in three days”

There goes my peace of mind. Bye bye sanity.

I looked at the two papers.

One of them required me to leave with random people, i could get kidnapped, killed, lost or rape and the location had to be somewhere so far away– ecuador.

I took the paper. It was something about a study on animals that has been doomed to extinction in the next hundred years or so but why the fuck does it have to be half way across the world.

I signed and dropped it, picking the other paper.

And this one meant saying goodbye to my already damaged mental health and my sanity. I’m going to need more than one tutor for this one.

Whatever choice I was going to make wasn’t just going to affect my grades, it was going to affect a lot more.

I glanced at maya as she carelessly munch on some peppered chips. I never understood why she liked those.

“How are you so calm?”

“Well I'm not the one with the life-altering academic decision to make,” she said, licking her salty fingers.

I rolled my eyes

“Just go for the trip”

I stopped “maya i can’t just leave everything and go to ecuador”

She looked at me like i was spongebob questioning why he had to stay in the water.

“It’s three days”

“I’ve never been away from home for three whole days”

“Well there’s a first time for everything”

I let out a loud frustrated breath.

“I’m thinking of taking the exam instead”

She stopped munching and walking then faced me.”girl i don;t think you can”

I blinked

“Well that was rude” I folded my arms.

“I wasn’t trying to be rude” she said and tossed the empty chip bag in the bin “i’m just being realistic”

I let out a dry laugh “realistic?”

“Yes, realistic” she repeated “look this exam isn't joke stuff”

“And?”

“And it's not exactly in your capacity” she added bluntly

I snapped.

“Not in my capacity?” i stepped forward “”it wasn’t in my capacity to loose like a thousand pounds in two months either” i said my voice rising”or to stand up to veronica and julie”

She looked at me differently.

“But here i am” i added

“tessa , that's not what i–”

“It also wasn’t in my capacity to even have a normal conversation with klaus” i cut in sharply “yet here i am”

She went quiet.

I took a step closer. “I am not weak maya”

“I didn’t say you were” she replied

“But you implied it” I shot back.

I didn’t wait for her response. I turned and walked off.

No one was going to make me feel smaller than I made myself feel a few months ago because guess what…i’ve changed.