Chapter 19: Not a second chance

Morning came faster than I expected it. Mainly because I spent half the night thinking about klaus.

Maya didn't make it any easier, She was either poking my face or trying to stick her toe in my mouth, unknowingly of course.

I quietly slipped out of the bed and walked to the window. It was finally the weekend and the best part about the weekends is that school stuff didn't matter now, well not until Monday.

I breathed the cool air and smiled. I glanced at my phone--it had been busting and blasting all night but I chose not to check it.

I knew it was either Klaus or Ethan. I didn't Have the emotional strength for that.

My phone rang , I checked and it was mom.

“Theresa Alexandria Marlowe” mom's voice echoed over the fun “where the hell have you been, I have been worried sick about you”

“Mom I…” I tried to speak but she cut in immediately

“do not speak when I'm talking young lady, your father and I called the school too but they said you already left and don't even lie about a rehearsal or training” she paused and I could hear dad calming her down in the background “be home in 10 minutes, if you're a second late you can kiss your play goodbye”

She hung up.

I immediately grabbed my bags planning to leave before maya wakes up and tell me to wait 5 more minutes For breakfast.

I was ready at the door when I heard footsteps behind me. I turned around.

“are you leaving?” Maya’s dad stood behind me, sitting on the wheelchair. He smiled “I'm so glad you settled Your differences” he added and drove to the other direction.

His words seemed normal but it meant alot coming from him. Maya’s lost his leg in an unfortunate car accident a few years ago, same accident that took Stella. It was hard on the both of us because her dad always take maya,Stella and I to watch stage plays, playgrounds , beaches together. We were like a family.

After what happened I avoided going to Maya’s house because I couldn't face her dad. Part of me strongly belived it wasn't his fault and a tiny part of me believed it was.

One thing was that he never lost his smile even when he couldn't walk anymore.

Immediately I got home, I was faced with two detectives of parents.

“I was at Maya’s” I said for what seemed to be the one millionth time

“You don't leave like that and go full ghost on us , you should've called” mom was enraged

“Your mother is right princess, anything could've happened. We were worried sick”

“I already told you I was at Maya’s what more do you want me to say”

“What is that attitude tessa?” Mom stood up

I kept quiet.

“I don't know what's going on with you lately , I don't know of its your body changes or new friends. I don't care but one thing you should take to mind is that you will not spend the entire night away and not text me or your dad about it”

“Why do you care?” I sighed

“I'm your mother tessa I was worried sick”

“Were you though?” My tone shifted

They both froze “Of course tessa, we were both worried”

“Yeah right” I let out a short laugh

“What's that supposed to mean”

“Nnothing mom, you dont have to worry about me, I won't be getting into a brutal car accident anytime soon”

Mom blinked, I could see the hurt in her eyes.

“How dare you tessa” her voice broke

“Dare I what? Huh” My voice increased

“Waych your tone Theresa” dad's expression hardened

“No” I suprised myself and shot back “someone has yo speak up in this house eventually”

“what?”

“You're not worried about me, youre worried you couldn’t keep Stella alive,” I said, my voice shaking now, anger and hurt tangled together. “So now you hover over me like I’m some fragile glass doll.”

“That's not fair” mom whispered

“But that’s the truth, isn’t it?” I pressed. “I’m not your daughter. I’m your second chance.”

Mom's eyes filled with tears

“That's enough” dad's voice echoed “go to your room now”

“But dad I….”

“And you'll be staying there for a week” his voice was firm.

My grip tightened on my bag as my feet pounded up the stairs.

A few moments later, I laid in my bed and covered my full Body with a blanket starring into space.

I heard a gentle knock on the door but ignored. The door opened anyway but I didn't move. I heard slow and careful footsteps before feeling The edge of my bed dip slightly.

Mom sat beside me and for a moment she was quiet and so was I.

Then–

“When I had Stella I was young” she started “in love but so young I didn't understand what being a mother meant”

I didn't move under the blanket

“I loved her so much but I was overwhelmed, frustrated even exhausted” she paused “I somehow did everything wrong, I was tired”

“But when I found out I was pregnant with you,it was entirely different”

I could feel her smile.

“The pregnancy had a lot of complications and the doctors said it might be impossible for me to survive the delivery and the best option was to … terminate the pregnancy”

My heart skipped.

“But after the first ultrasound, I saw you inside me, I felt like some kind of light had switched on inside me” her voice was soft “I was determined to keep you nl matter what”

I loweted the blanket but didn't turn.

“You were the baby I fought for,” she said quietly.

“And when I got the call about the incident that day, I was scared I was going to loose the two most amazing Things in my life so I prayed more than I've ever prayed in my life”

Her voice cracked. Tears slid slowly down my eyes.

“loosing Stella felt like loosing a part of my soul” she sniffed “I was guilty I didn't do Stella right, I felt like I led her to her death and she didn't stick around long enough for her to hear I was sorry but you…”

“You simply shined on your own, you were like a light to my very dark heart and I couldn't even hear the thought of loosing any part of you”

“You're not a second chance” she gently pat my back “you're not Stella's replacement tessa”

“You’re my daughter and I love you so much” she added and I could hear her cry softly.

The door clicked softly as she left.

I stayed under the blanket, staring into the darkness.

For the first time that night…

I didn’t know if what I felt was relief—

or guilt.