Chapter 2: Chapter Two

The rest of the day went by pretty quickly considering I didn’t actually do much. Ryan came home about half an hour ago. I made him dinner and he left me alone. So far, so good. I made an excuse to go to my room and he didn’t ask any questions. I decided to just watch some TV until it was late enough to go to bed. This was literally my life and it fucking sucked. I turned on Netflix and found a random documentary to keep myself busy.

It was only about 20 minutes in when I heard Ryan come up the stairs. I paused the TV and froze, silently praying and begging that he wasn’t going to come in. I listened carefully, trying to work out where his footsteps were going. I hadn’t realized I was holding my breath until I heard his bedroom door close, and I let out the biggest gasp.

Christ, I nearly suffocated myself!

I un-paused the show and snuggled down, getting comfortable. I knew Ryan. Once he was in his room, that was it; he was in for the night and now I could really relax. As I laid there, getting snuggly, I found my eyes glancing over at the open computer.

I had managed to forget all about those emails all day, but now I noticed the computer again. It was all I could think about. I shook my head, telling myself to have some god damn self-control.

But the more I tried not to think about it, the more I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

No, I refused to go over there and read the rest of the emails. None of them were from Alexander so what was the point? I turned over onto my stomach and pulled my pillow under my body so that I could be more comfortable.

Staring at the TV, I could feel my eyes getting heavy and I smiled. I was getting sleepy and that was good because the sooner I went to sleep.the sooner another day was over.

And right now, life was all about just surviving day-to-day.

I felt myself roll over in my sleep and it woke me up. Sure enough, when I opened my eyes, I was staring at the ceiling and instantly closed my eyes again. I was wrong. I wasn’t safe.

I felt the familiar tug and pull as Ryan removed my clothes and it was like my body went into automatic mode. I became numb and only moved when I knew I had to. I had learned over the years to just “cooperate” and it would be over sooner.

I turned my head and looked at the wall. Every time, my eyes went to the same spot, and they didn’t move until he finished.

I laid in bed; I hadn’t gone back to sleep after Ryan left. I never did after. I wasn’t afraid, I just.couldn’t. It was like my body wouldn’t let me. I heard him leave and still didn’t move for another half an hour or so, but when I eventually did, I stripped my bed and put clean sheets on before heading to the bathroom for my daily morning shower.

I hissed in pain as I climbed in, but as soon as the water hit me, it was like everything instantly washed away. It still surprised me sometimes how I could ache and hurt for the whole day afterwards. You’d think my body was used to it all by now.

I washed my body and hair, and then it was time to get out. Much like yesterday, I found myself wrapped in a towel, sitting in front of my computer. But this time, even though I was so curious what Jemma or Dad needed to say, I just couldn’t bring myself to turn it on.

I sat there for a good 20 minutes before getting up again and getting dressed. I was bounding down the stairs just as the postman slipped some letters through the door. I picked them up and dumped them on the table before heading into the kitchen to make myself something to eat. I hadn't even had time to look for anything before the phone started ringing. I grabbed it quickly and answered it before checking to see who it was.

“Hello?” I tucked the phone between my ear and shoulder and set about making myself a sandwich.

“Harley? Oh, thank god, listen, we need you to come in and cover a shift. We are completely swamped, and David phoned in sick!” I rolled my eyes, annoyed. Something David did often, and I was always the one asked to cover his shift. I suppose it's more money at the end of the month, though.

“Yeah, okay, but I can’t get there for an hour or so.”

“Ok, Ok, Just hurry!” My boss hung up before I could say anything else. I finished making something to eat and headed back upstairs to find my uniform.

I wasn’t all that annoyed. It kept me busy, but a bit of notice other than “just hurry” would have been nice. But I suppose that wasn’t work’s fault.

Once I had eaten and put on my uniform, I headed to work, hoping it would only be for a few hours, but you never know. You could be rotated to work 4 hours and end up staying all day.

I just had to tell myself “money, money, money” and that’s what I kept repeating in my head over and over again on my way to work.