“Samantha! Oh my God Sam.. Sam please open your eyes! Sam please!” This familiar voice kept echoing in my ears but sounded far away.
My head was banging so hard.. the pestle hitting a mortar kind of bang. I tried to open my eyes but couldn't.. couldn't move.
What was happening? A dream maybe?..
Then I felt a soft grip on my hand, a sound like a sob?
I tried opening my eyes again and this time, they opened slightly.. It was blurry at first but gradually became clear, taking in the sight of the crystal white painting of the wall before me.
The atmosphere felt unusually bright and cold.. turning my head slightly, my gaze met Anna seated beside me.
Her eyes were filled with tears, she had obviously cried too much.
As our eyes met, there was a flicker of hope.. of relief.
“You stupid bitch! How dare you fuckin scare me like that!” Anna said, her voice a mixture of relief, happiness, pain, sadness. “I thought you were really gon’ die!.. Are you okay now? How are you feeling?”
I tried to respond but I couldn't.. wanted to smile but couldn't, I just kept staring, my expression blank.
I took my gaze away from her in an attempt to study the surroundings. Only then did my brain start making sense of it.
I noticed an antiseptic odor, overheard nurses and doctors speaking softly, and heard machines beeping repeatedly.
My brows were furrowed in confusion as I realized I was in a hospital uniform.. in a hospital.
Then my brain started picking up.
There was a quick flash back on what happened about three hours ago, the argument with Tyler, the divorce, how I angrily got in my car, didn't care and drove at full speed and the truck..
Wait, I didn't die. I made it!
My pulse quickened as a wave of happiness flowed through me.
“Sam, please talk to me. What's going on? Are you okay?” Anna's voice was calm and soothing.
Thank God I didn't die, I really am alive..
I could feel hot tears gathering in my eyes as I tightened my grip on Ann's hand trying to adjust myself on the bed, maybe my voice would come out that way but a sudden sharp pain in my lower abdomen held me back.
“Hey please take it easy..” Anna said, “do you need help with something? Should I get the doctor?”
Anna's questions weren't going to stop soon, I was sure of that, not until I at least gave a response.
I tightened my grip on her hands once again, attempting to adjust and this time, the pain came ten times more pushing a loud groan out of me.
I could see panic surge through Ann..
“Sam please hold on, I'll go get the doctor immediately”
She was about to rush out when I held her back, my pulse racing in my chest.
It had struck me.. the memory returned fresh and clear, My baby.
I hope it's still there.. my baby.
I turned a sharp gaze at Ann, trying to communicate with my eyes. I tried to talk but I couldn't.. the tears were flowing now, I couldn't hold them back.
My baby, please…
The idea of my baby, and the chance that it might not survive the accident, was like a blow in the stomach.
As tears flowed down my cheeks, I stared pleadingly at Ann, wanting to ask about my baby but unable to find the words.
I could see the confusion in her eyes, the knowledge that I was trying to tell her something important but she couldn't comprehend.
"Sam," she said quietly, her voice shaking as she massaged my fingers, "I understand you're in pain huh? But please if you need something, try to spit it out. It's not fun for me watching you in so much pain”
I took a big breath, trying to gather my thoughts well to speak. But the discomfort in my abdomen and the anxiety of what I could hear made it virtually difficult.
After what felt like a lifetime, I managed to mumble, "my... baby."
The ache in my belly intensified with each word.
Anna's look changed from panicking to confused, as if she had misheard me.
"I don't understand, baby?" she said, the word hanging in the air like a question mark.
I managed to cough out the words again. "Ann.. please my…y baby,"
Anna's eyes widened with shock. "Baby?" Sam, what do you mean, baby? You never mentioned..."
The tears that had threatened to flow suddenly spilled down my cheeks.
"Sam," Ann paused. “Wait, you were... pregnant?”
My heart fell even further.
The pain, both physical and mental, became intolerable.
"Tyler...” I croaked, my eyes begging Ann to understand what I couldn't put into words.
Ann swallowed, her expression turning from confusion to being calm. She placed a hand on my forehead, her touch gentle but firm.
"Sam, don't worry about Tyler right now.. don't even say his name, that bast@rd almost killed you. You need to rest. I'll take care of everything. Just focus on getting better huh.”
I was about to speak when the ward's door creaked open and a doctor in a white coat stepped into the room, his eyes concentrated on the clipboard in his hands.
Anna squeezed my hand as he approached.
"Ah, Mrs. Wills," the doctor said, glancing up from his clipboard. "Good to see you awake. How are you feeling?"
"I... I'm okay," I whispered, my voice still weak and raspy but glad I could at least use my voice.
The doctor nodded, his expression serious but not unkind.
"I'm Dr. Wallace," he introduced himself, before turning his attention to Anna. "And I assume you're family?"
"I'm her best friend," Anna said, her voice firm and protective. “Please doctor, how's she doing?” her tone was impatient.
Dr. Wallace's expression turned grave.
"Mrs. Wills got hurt real bad in the accident," the doctor started, clearing his throat. "She's got a busted rib and some internal bleeding inside her body, which we have managed to stop, but..."
The doctor paused, his eyes darting between me and Anna.
"But what?" Anna interjected, her tone taking on a worried edge.
Dr. Wallace took a deep breath. "Unfortunately, Mrs. Wills also suffered a miscarriage.. I'm sorry to announce that she lost her baby."
The air seemed to leave the room and my breath was taken from me.
Ann's mouth dropped wide in disbelief, and her face paled as the doctor's words set in.
Her eyes, which were earlier filled with anxiety, now carried an even deeper pain and uncertainty.
"I'm lost Doc, a baby?" she breathed, her voice barely a whisper.. she slowly turned to me. "Sam... you were actually pregnant?"
She staggered back, knees wobbly as the awareness struck her full strength.
" Sam... why didn't you tell me?"