The silence in the car was deafening as we pulled away from Caleb’s father’s mansion.
The soft purr of the engine did little to mask the tension hanging thick between us. I stared out the window, watching the dark London streets blur by, but my thoughts were stuck on the dinner.
The engagement announcement. The pressure.
Caleb’s father had thrown us into the fire, and I wasn’t sure how much longer we could keep up this act.
I stole a glance at Caleb, his hands gripping the steering wheel tightly, his jaw clenched.
He hadn’t said a word since we left, and I could tell something was weighing on him.. something he wasn’t sharing. But I couldn’t let it go. Not tonight.
"Caleb," I said softly, breaking the silence. "What do you really want?"
He didn’t answer at first. His eyes remained fixed on the road, his expression unreadable in the dim light.
I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, a mix of anxiety and frustration rising inside me. I needed to know. I needed to understand why we were doing this, why he was dragging me into this mess.
"Caleb," I repeated, a little more firmly this time. "Why are we still doing this? What do you want?"
His lips pressed into a thin line, and for a moment, I thought he might actually answer me.
But then, he sighed and shook his head. "It’s complicated, Sam. You know that."
"Complicated?" I echoed, my voice rising with irritation. "Of course it’s complicated, Caleb. But that’s not an answer. You keep avoiding this conversation, and I don’t know how much longer I can keep pretending like this doesn’t affect me."
He didn’t say anything, just kept his focus on the road as if my words weren’t cutting into him.
But I knew better.
I could see the tension in his shoulders, the way his grip tightened on the wheel. He was holding something back, and it was driving me insane.
"Are you using me to get out of marrying Monica?" The words slipped out before I could stop them. The moment they were in the air, I wished I could take them back, but it was too late now.
Caleb’s head snapped toward me, his eyes narrowing. "You think I’m using you?"
"I don’t know!" I snapped, the frustration bubbling over. "I don’t know what to think anymore, Caleb. You’ve dragged me into this fake relationship, and I’m starting to
..,"
I cut myself off, swallowing the rest of the sentence before I could say something I’d regret.
He waited, his eyes searching mine. "You’re starting to what, Sam?"
I looked away, my chest tightening. I couldn’t admit it, not now. Not when I wasn’t even sure where we stood.
But I couldn’t keep doing this, pretending like my feelings weren’t real when every moment with him made them stronger.
"Never mind," I muttered, turning back to the window.
My heart was racing, and I felt the sting of tears threatening to spill over. I didn’t want to get hurt. Not by him. Not by someone who might not even feel the same way.
The silence between us stretched on, heavier than before. Caleb didn’t push me, didn’t ask me to explain.
And maybe that was worse.
Because in that silence, I realized that I might be falling for someone who wasn’t capable of giving me the answers I needed.
I could feel the car slowing down as we neared my apartment.
The familiar street lights flickered outside, casting long shadows over the dashboard. My stomach twisted with unease as we pulled to a stop in front of my building.
This was it.. the end of the night, the end of the conversation we couldn’t have.
"Sam," Caleb’s voice was quiet, almost hesitant, as he turned to face me. There was something in his expression, something softer than the guarded look he usually wore. "I’m not using you."
His words hung in the air, and for a moment, I didn’t know how to respond. My heart clenched, a flicker of hope stirring inside me, but it was quickly overshadowed by doubt.
If he wasn’t using me, then what was this? Why were we still pretending?
I opened my mouth to say something.. anything.. but the words caught in my throat. Instead, I found myself staring into his eyes, searching for some kind of answer, some sign that this was more than just an arrangement.
Caleb’s gaze softened, and before I could process what was happening, he leaned in, his face inches from mine.
The air between us was electric, charged with unspoken feelings and unsaid words.
My breath hitched, and I felt my heart pounding in my chest as his eyes flicked to my lips.
For a second, I thought he might kiss me.
For a second, I wanted him to kiss me.
But then, at the last possible moment, he pulled back, breaking the tension with a sigh.
"I don’t want to hurt you," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.
The words hit me like a punch to the gut. I didn’t even realize I was holding my breath until I exhaled, the weight of his admission crashing over me. He didn’t want to hurt me, but he was.
Every day we continued this charade, every moment we spent pretending, it chipped away at my resolve.
"You already are," I whispered, my voice cracking. I didn’t mean for the words to come out like that, but they did, and once they were out there, I couldn’t take them back.
Caleb’s expression shifted, a mix of guilt and something else.. something I couldn’t quite read. He opened his mouth to say something, but before he could, I grabbed the door handle and pushed it open.
"I can’t do this right now," I said, my voice shaking. "I need to think."
Without waiting for a response, I stepped out of the car, the cold night air biting at my skin as I hurried toward my building.
I didn’t look back. I couldn’t. Because if I did, I might see the regret in his eyes, and that would only make this harder.
The door to my apartment loomed ahead, and as I fumbled with my keys, I could feel the weight of everything pressing down on me.
My feelings for Caleb were growing stronger every day, and no matter how much I tried to suppress them, they refused to go away.
And as I stepped inside and closed the door behind me, I realized something that terr
ified me.
I was falling for him. Hard.
But I didn’t know if I could trust him not to break my heart.