Chapter 20
Luca’s heart twisted as he watched Nico hiccupping into the pillow, his small body trembling with sobs that felt far too heavy for someone so young. It hit him like a freight train—his little boy’s problems ran far deeper than simple homesickness or exhaustion. Nico wasn’t just upset; he was *suffering*. He had been silently carrying the fear that his mother was going to abandon him, and Luca hadn’t even realized the depth of his pain until now.
“Nico!” Luca’s voice was thick with emotion, his hands gently cupping Nico’s tear-streaked face, willing his son to look at him. “Tesoro, that’s not true,” he whispered, his throat tight with the effort to keep his own tears at bay. “Your mumma loves you. She would never leave you. She couldn’t even think of leaving you, believe me, Caro.”
He believed it with every fiber of his being. Amber might have had her flaws, but Luca had never once doubted her love for their son. He still remembered the first time he had seen her holding a newborn Nico in her arms, the fierce protective look in her eyes that only a mother could have. When she had left him years ago, she hadn’t taken anything—not a single piece of jewelry, not a dollar from their shared life. The only thing she had taken was Nico, and Luca had known in that moment that whatever else might change between them, Amber’s love for their son was untouchable.
But Nico didn’t know that. He was too young to understand the complexities, too fragile to grasp that his mother’s absence wasn’t a sign of abandonment. Luca could see the fear etched into his son’s face, the way it distorted his small features as if he were crumbling from the inside out.
“I heard her…” Nico’s voice broke through Luca’s thoughts, his words barely coherent through the sobs. “I heard her talking to her friend… she… mummy said she was going to leave me here with you!” His little body shook with the force of his grief. “I don’t wanna stay here, Daddy… everyone’s horrible here. I want to live with mummy!”
Luca’s chest felt like it was being crushed under the weight of Nico’s words. The pain was so raw, so consuming, that he struggled to breathe for a moment. His son, his beautiful boy, was breaking right in front of him, and there was nothing he could do to change what had already happened. But he could try to fix this now, to at least soothe the storm raging inside Nico’s heart.
“Shhh… shhh… Tesoro, stop crying,” Luca murmured, pulling Nico into his lap, rubbing slow circles on his back to calm him. He felt the tremors in Nico’s small frame, the bottled-up pain that had been eating at him, festering inside until it spilled out like this. Luca’s own heart broke with every sob, but he pushed his own grief aside. This wasn’t about him. It was about Nico.
“Hey, listen to me, okay? You know what I think?” Luca pulled Nico back slightly so he could look into his son’s tearful eyes. “I think mummy wasn’t talking about leaving you for good. She was probably talking about the summer holidays.”
Nico sniffled, his sobs quieting a little, though his face was still full of doubt.
“Remember last time, when I came to visit you in the States?” Luca continued, his voice gentle. “Your mumma said the same thing to me—that she would let me have you for the summer holidays. I bet that’s what she was saying to her friend. She wasn’t saying she’s leaving you, Caro. She was just talking about spending time with me here. That’s all.”
Nico’s sobs had reduced to quiet sniffles, his small hands clutching Luca’s shirt tightly. His wide, tear-filled eyes searched Luca’s face, looking for reassurance, for some spark of truth he could hold onto.
“Truly?” Nico’s voice was small, hesitant, and his lower lip quivered as if he was ready to burst into tears again. “Does that mean… mummy still loves me?”
Luca’s heart shattered all over again at the sight of his son’s uncertainty, the way he was so desperately clinging to the idea that maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t unlovable. Luca swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded, his voice thick with emotion. “Truly, Caro. Your mumma loves you very much.”
But even with Luca’s reassurance, Nico still looked unsure, his small brows furrowed in confusion and worry. Luca knew he needed to do more, to give Nico something to hold onto that was concrete, something that would prove to him just how much Amber loved him.
“You know what?” Luca said softly, leaning closer. “When you were very little, your mummy and I used to live together. In this very house.”
Nico blinked, his curiosity piqued. “I know,” he said solemnly, wiping his tear-streaked face with the back of his hand. “Mummy told me. That’s how you became my daddy.”
Luca couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at his lips, despite the heaviness in his heart. Nico’s innocence, even in the midst of his pain, was such a fragile, beautiful thing. “That’s right,” Luca said. “And when your mummy had to leave, she didn’t take me with her or your Nonna or Zia… do you know who she took with her?”
Nico’s eyes widened, a slow smile beginning to spread across his tear-streaked face. “Me?” he whispered, his voice trembling with hope.
“Yes,” Luca whispered back, nodding. “She took you, Nico. Because she loves you. She loves you more than anything in this world.”
Nico looked up at his father, his small face finally softening, the tension slowly ebbing away. He nodded, though the weight of his earlier fears still lingered in his eyes. “And tomorrow,” Luca added, “when you see mummy, you tell her how much you love her. And you’ll see—she’ll tell you right back that she loves you just as much. How about that?”
Nico’s smile grew, the light returning to his eyes as he wrapped his small arms around Luca in a tight hug. Luca hugged him back, his heart swelling with emotion. He could feel the tears burning at the back of his eyes, but he held them in. He had to be strong for Nico, even if inside he was crumbling.
“Now,” Luca whispered, smoothing Nico’s hair as he felt the boy’s exhaustion taking over, “why don’t you go to sleep? I’ll go and bring mummy back from the zoo. When you wake up, she’ll be here, I promise.”
Nico yawned, the weight of the day’s emotions and activities pulling him under. He nodded, his eyelids fluttering closed as he snuggled into Luca’s chest. Within minutes, he was asleep, his small body finally at peace, his soft breathing filling the quiet room.
Luca sat there for a long moment, staring down at his son’s peaceful face, brushing a stray curl from his forehead. He leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss on Nico’s temple, the familiar scent of his son grounding him, even as his own heart ached.
He slowly stood up, carefully pulling the blanket over Nico’s small frame before quietly slipping out of the room, closing the door softly behind him.
The hallway was dark and silent, but Luca felt anything but calm. His heart raced with the weight of everything that had happened tonight. He had a long list of things he needed to do now. But first and foremost, he needed to find Amber.
He needed to apologize. To fix what he could. And bring her back.