Chapter 76 I'm Sorry
The kitchen was warm and smelled faintly of the strawberries Ginny had been chopping earlier. She guided Leela to one of the high-backed bar stools at the island, practically pushing her down onto the cushioned seat.
"Sit," Ginny commanded, bustling over to the stove to turn the kettle on for the broth. "Don't move. Don't look at a raw egg. Don't even think about the word 'omelet'."
Leela rested her forehead against the cool granite countertop, letting out a long, shaky breath. "I'm okay, Gin. Really."
But she wasn't. Her shoulders slumped, and when she looked up, her eyes were swimming with tears again.
"I'm sorry," Leela whispered, her voice cracking. "I am so, so sorry."
Ginny froze, the mug in her hand hovering halfway to the counter. She turned slowly, her brows knitting together in genuine confusion. "Sorry? Leela, why are you apologizing? You just threw up in a bush. You're the victim here."
"No," Leela shook her head frantically, wiping at her eyes. "I'm sorry for this. For getting pregnant again so soon. Ginny, look at the calendar! The twins aren't even a year old yet. They are still babies. They still need me for everything."
She gestured helplessly toward the living room where Elana had taken the children.
"I haven't even finished raising the first set," Leela choked out. "I was supposed to be getting back to my duties. I was supposed to be taking the load off Elana and helping you with your pregnancy. instead, I went and added more chaos to the pile. I feel like... like I’m failing at the pacing. I’m overwhelmed just looking at them, and now there’s going to be another one? Or two? What if I can’t do it?"
Ginny set the mug down with a sharp clack. She walked around the island, grabbed Leela’s face gently between her hands, and forced her to look up.
"Stop it," Ginny said firmly, her voice leaving no room for argument. "Right now. You are not failing. You are an Elemental who loves her mate, and biology happened. It happens to the best of us—clearly."
She rubbed her thumbs over Leela’s wet cheeks. "Caspian and Briar are happy. They are loved. And yes, they are babies, but they are Blackwood babies. They are tough. And you aren't doing this alone. You have Fennigan, you have Elana, you have Damon... and you have me."
Ginny leaned in, her eyes fierce. "So don't you dare apologize for creating life, Leela. It’s chaotic, and it’s messy, and yes, Elana is going to need a lot more coffee. But you have nothing to be sorry for. Okay?"
Leela sniffled, leaning into her friend’s hands. "Okay. But... four under two, Gin. That’s insane."
"It's a circus," Ginny corrected with a grin, handing her the toast. "But at least we're the ringmasters."Leela took the slice of dry toast from Ginny’s hand like it was a sacred artifact. She took a tiny, tentative bite. It was bland, crunchy, and blessedly, it stayed down.
The warmth of the kitchen and the fierce certainty in Ginny’s eyes finally started to melt the ice of panic in Leela's chest. She chewed slowly, looking at her best friend—who was currently glowing with pregnancy and righteous indignation on her behalf.
A small, genuine smile tugged at the corner of Leela's mouth.
"You're right," Leela admitted, her voice stronger now. "It's going to be a circus. A literal Blackwood Circus. There will be diapers flying, food on the ceiling, and probably accidental magic surges during nap time."
"Exactly," Ginny nodded, leaning back against the counter and rubbing her baby bump. "And in a circus, the most important people aren't the lions or the elephants."
"It's the ringmasters," Leela finished, pointing the crust of her toast at Ginny. "That’s us. Me, you, and Elana. We hold the whips. We direct the show."
Ginny grinned wicked. "Damn straight. We run this tent."
Leela let out a laugh, the sound bubbling up freely for the first time that evening. "Okay. So if we're the ringmasters... what does that make the guys?"
She gestured toward the porch door, where the muffled sounds of Damon lecturing his sons could still be heard.
"Oh, please," Ginny snorted, grabbing a strawberry she had chopped earlier. "That’s the easiest casting call in history. Fennigan and Jax are on clown duty."
Leela choked on her toast, giggling. "Clown duty?"
"Have you seen them?" Ginny asked, gesturing wildly. "Jax walked in here holding a wrench and an apple and looked like his brain had fallen out of his ear. And Fennigan? The Big Bad Alpha? He was holding a ten-month-old covered in puke like he was defusing a nuclear bomb. They are giant, muscular goofballs."
"Born for the role," Ginny declared, popping the strawberry into her mouth. "So don't worry about the chaos, Leela. The clowns will keep us entertained while we run the world.""They really are," Leela agreed, wiping a crumb from her lip. Her expression softened as she thought back to the intimate, terrified moment in the shower just twenty minutes ago.
"I wish you could have seen him, Gin," Leela whispered, shaking her head. "When I was in the shower... I made him listen to my stomach. I put his ear right against it so he could hear the heartbeat."
She laughed softly at the memory. "He looked like a mime trapped in a box. His eyes were so wide I thought they were going to pop out of his head. He just froze. The water was pouring down his face, he was soaking wet in his good clothes, and he looked absolutely, perfectly ridiculous."
Leela took another bite of toast, finally feeling the color return to her cheeks. "Ringmasters and clowns. I think I can handle that."
Ginny hugged her friend and said, "We'll be comparing baby pumps soon. Just think about it. We'll be miserable together."
"Ha, ha." Leela gave her friend a halfhearted smile, but she knew they would both be ok.