He heaved a sigh and sat next to her.
“Well, it was after being King. I think the wars I had fought strengthened the connection with my gem; the lives I had taken fed it, and I dreamt of Xinora — well, she dreamt of me. It was the first time I would be in anyone's dreams.”
Belladonna nodded, taking a mental note of that.
“She was crying and lonely, and because the Gem perceived its master to be distressed, it sought a connection and found me. Xinora was terrified when we met; I was confused, too; it was strange. But then, I realized who she was and why I was there. At that time, I really wanted to come back here, to Vestros, but I knew it wasn’t time, I wasn't powerful enough back then.” He paused, before he continued. “The White King would kill me easily, but being in her dreams was like fate being on my side. She was the only weapon that could be used to kill me—”
The only weapon?
“Wait. Only a Bearer can kill a Bearer?”
“Yes.”
“So,” she turned to him squarely so she wouldn't miss out on anything his eyes might tell which his lips would hide. “Why did you say the White King will kill you? He is not a Bearer, is he?”
Alaris shook his head and her blue eyes sparked. “Then, to him, you are basically immortal! You have no reason to fear him.”
“True, but then he has the Blood dagger that I struck his daughter with. The Blood Dagger is difficult to make, with its properties containing elements from different realms, even those I dare not to venture into. He is powerful with powerful wizards at his command. He might have found a way around killing me, he knows more about my kind than I do.” He frowned and clenched his fists on his thighs. “Like this summon thing that he possessed. It's been over two hundred years!”
Belladonna’s heart raced with more thoughts but they slammed against the confusion in her mind. So she demanded that he tell her every detail.
“I took the form of her lover, I don't even know how I did it; it was my first time, but she saw me as him. Maybe because she desired to see him so much that it was all that consumed her mind, besides her loyalty to her father. She was lonely in the Castle. She thought her dreams were the comfort she made up for herself; a way of escape. But it felt so real that she eventually believed that her lover was indeed with her, and this was his way of discreetly coming to her after she had been banned from seeing him by her father. She thought her lover was powerful enough to do that. She trusted him— me.”
He fell silent again. Belladonna couldn't tell what he was thinking but when his hardened gaze fell upon her, she had only one word on her lips. “And?”
He shrugged, the look in his eyes vanishing as he leaned back slightly, his hands planted against the mat granting him support.
“At first, I wanted to know how much she knew about her gem, how much she could tell me about her father but she knew little and was starting to get suspicious. I realized her unswaying dedication and her readiness to lay down her life at her father's request. She had been taught that she was a sacrifice for the goodness of her people and she had no problems with it. So I decided to manipulate her further. I told her that the King had me trapped and I needed a weapon to set myself free or he would kill me. I just wanted to kill her but I couldn't take anything into her dream, so I wondered if she could.”
Silent, Belladonna kept on listening.
“She didn't dream of me for a long time but when she finally did, she brought me a dagger. I don't even know how she got her father to give her the dagger but I didn't have to know that to kill her, so I didn't care. She told me that it was the Blood Dagger, that it was very special, and that her father had made it for the enemy she would kill one day for the good of her people because it was the only one that could kill him.” Alaris turned to Belladonna with a smile. “Nightshade, fate was on my side. My dagger would have done no damage to her, but this one was perfect. Everything was perfect.”
Belladonna’s heart twisted with pain. She didn't know if it was because the Gem was formerly linked to this Xinora but something about hearing this felt very painful. That poor lady! She was a victim of everyone manipulating her.
A victim!
“So I killed her. The gems obviously repulsed it. We were supposed to be a pair, something like a soulmate. It was ridiculous. Why would I ever be involved with my enemy’s daughter?”
“She was lonely and manipulated, then you manipulated her further and killed her,” Belladonna spoke quietly and the smile vanished from Alaris' face. “Why didn't you try to help her, maybe she could have helped you with peace and—”
“You sound ridiculous. There is no morality when it comes to war. There are only two things - dead and alive. I chose to live. Only a fool will let go of his own poison into the hands of another at the risk of being killed by the same one.”
She stood up abruptly, the tears rolling down her cheeks. “Did you even try?”
Alaris stared back at her from where he was seated with a scrutinizing gaze. “It will be foolish to. She was too far gone.” Then his gaze turned more piercing, his eyes laced with the glint of murder. “I have no regrets, Nightshade. In fact, if she was here, right now,” he stood up, “standing right before me, I would do it again.”
“But she is not her father. Why did she suffer for her father’s crimes?”
“Because she was willing to die for them. She was his perfect weapon.” He took a step back, feeling the rage in him swell in his chest. “We were the same! Her father killed my parents because I was born differently, because of a stupid prophecy of being a destruction to the realm for the gem I carried. Then, he kept his own daughter safe even though she was born with a gem, too. Neither him, nor his family deserves my mercy.”
Belladonna nodded, feeling her logical thinking seep back in. She blinked, nodding her head. “Of course,” she sat back down. “You are right. She was a needed sacrifice.” She wiped her tears away, the eyes no longer fogged with them. Her emotions had changed so fast. “She seemed to have really loved her lover. Do you think he might have something to do with this, too? That is if he is still alive.”
“Jyris lives—”
The name rang a bell, at first she didn't even remember him then she did.
No, not him.
It couldn't be him.
“---but I don't think he has anything to do with this. He had most likely forgotten her. The last time I saw him, he was bending a female over on the table… and then, he was healing your ankle with his fire magic.”
Belladonna’s heart stopped and her gaze met with Alaris, unspoken words hanging in the air.
No.
He was thinking the same thing as she was.
By Ignas, no!