Breathing heavily, he turned back to her.
“I’m sorry— I just— I was afraid that you’ll shift—”
“I have been terrified that this day would come but I thought I was stronger, as strong as I was in your Realm. I knew I would be lacking the moment I saw that annoying thing healing your ankle with his flames,” he laughed, the sound dry of humour as he swept his hand over his hair, pushing it back. “At that moment, I knew there were many things that I lacked, many skills, so many things. I might have been a King there but here, I am like a child. I’m not better than any of those dragon shifters. I’m useless.”
“You are not.”
With a huff, he sat down next to her, feeling exhausted. “My pretense to know what I am doing can no longer save me. I’m fighting a lost war, Nightshade and you can see it.”
He turned to her, to find her shaking her head. “Don't lie to me.”
“I’m not.”
“Alaris—”
“Don't try to inspire me, it won't work.”
“I wasn't trying to inspire you, I just want to tell you how disappointed I am in you.”
He turned sharply to her. “Disappointed?”
“Yes.”
He scoffed.
“Maybe the White King killing you would be a favour to us all; maybe you should have even died today because these people who have been fighting this Rebellion for years deserve better than a leader who is certain of death after just one defeat.”
“I have valid reasons—”
“I’m certain they had valid reasons, too, and they kept on fighting. Do you think they didn't know that the White King’s army was bigger than they were?”
“They had something to hope for. An Heir.”
“You are the Heir.”
“I am nothing. I have nothing!”
“You have your gem.”
He shook his head. “There is a crack in my gem. The missing piece that the sirens have. It makes me less powerful.”
Guilt crossed through her. “Maybe we can get it back—”
“No! There is no way to get it back. It was a trade.”
“Well, you have me.”
His gaze held hers. “You are not enough.”
Rage fired in her veins. “Nothing will ever be enough for a failure.”
“I’m not a failure!”
She scoffed. “It is a shame that your parents died for this.”
“Don't say that.”
“Your death will be too much of a pleasure for the White King.”
“Be Quiet!” His hand went around her neck in a threat to silence her forever; his eyes were those of his dragon, golden with madness.
She flinched but held her ground. “I created warriors with you because I believed that you were strong, because I believed you would know what to do with an army, because I knew you would win! Why would I stay just to die with a failure? I trusted you.”
He let her neck go, but his eyes still remained golden with rage.
“And I have valid reasons for my enormous trust in you, I have encountered many adversaries on our journeys together, enemies that were greater than we were, and you have saved me every time. One defeat has never been enough to sway you, it shouldn't sway you now. You are a fast learner. Skills? You’ve seen them, you will do better, just like you have done with the healing. This is not your first battle; you know to learn from defeat, not to sulk over it. You are not a child, Alaris! The lives of many people rely on you, you cannot just embrace defeat. It is stupid and you are not stupid.” She jabbed a finger against his chest. “Why should the White King be the one to smile last when he destroyed your life? Ruin him.”
His rage strengthened but they weren't directed towards her anymore. A devilish smile snaked up his lips.
“I thought you said you wouldn't try to motivate me.”
She shrugged, biting back a smile as she tucked her hair behind her ear. “I’m just trying to survive. If you die, I’m dead too.”
He let out a breath of laughter and she laughed, stopping only when she felt his hand on her hair.
“I miss the black colour, I fear I’ll never get it back even when I leave this realm and stop creating shadow warriors—”
But his gaze was fixed on her hair and she couldn't help but ask.
“Does the colour remind you of something?”
He had once told her that he had encountered the original Bearer of her gem once. He didn't explain further, and she knew that she, too, had silver hair; after all, she had seen her in dreams.
“No. I just miss its black color.” Then his gaze shifted to hers; blue serpent-like eyes with emotions she couldn't understand. He leaned in closer, his hand moving to her face.
She could feel it; the sparks that spread from her gem where the gem resided to every nerve, everything that consisted of her very being.
Her heart raced in fear that she would succumb to something that she wasn't even in control of.
She immediately tried to pull away, but lips sealed against hers, and on instinct, she kissed him back.