Chapter 134: FIONA
Joshua grabbed my jaw with his lips and tongue. He left a wet trail around my jawline before kissing me hard. He was like a hungry monster. I was struggling to keep up with his kisses, but I loved the way he was. He was incredibly sexy in his own way.
“I’m so curious about what you did for your last mission.”
“Hmm... You really want to know?”
Joshua trailed his wet tongue down my neck. My eyes closed, enjoying the caress of his lips and tongue. It was a perfect combination. He was also a multitasking man. While his lips and tongue were busy with my neck, his fingers worked the buttons of my pajamas deftly. He pushed them over my shoulders and threw them to the floor. His supple lips traveled down to the cleavage of my breasts, teasing me and driving me even crazier.
“Tell me. I'm not a patient man.”
“Okay. My operation is to track down the key players who traffic drugs to and from Mexico.”
“That's why you're dealing with Fabio.”
“He's the master of the land routes in Mexico.”
“Don't tell me you seduced him to get information from him.”
“I did.”
“You said I was the only one who ever touched you. You lied to me, huh?”
Joshua pulled his mouth away from my breasts. He looked like a big, sulking baby. “Teasing can have many meanings. I wasn't teasing her in the way you're thinking right now.”
“Are you a psychic now? You can read my mind?”
“I know what you’re thinking without me being a psychic. I played a trick on Fabio. I pretended to be a buyer who was going to purchase his goods to ship to West America.”
“He’d be an idiot to believe you that easily.”
“Of course he did. We gave him a down payment. That’s what made him trust me completely. He welcomed me and treated me like a queen. He showed me around his factory and all the people who worked behind the scenes. He genuinely thought I was a potential buyer.”
“Luckily, I have trust issues. I don’t trust people who shove large sums of money in my face on the first meeting.”
“That was the third meeting, actually,” I corrected.
“First or third meeting, it makes no difference to me. I only sell my goods to people who have proven they won’t cheat me. I take three months to do background checks before I release my goods to them.”
“You’re a paranoid freak. Good for you. You’re not easily fooled.”
“Except for one person. You. I don’t care if you’re deceiving me right now and hiding bugs somewhere. I don’t care if you want to sell information about me to the FBI. I don’t fucking care, as long as you’re with me.”
I covered his big mouth with my lips. He was talking a lot tonight. But I loved his last words. They were his version of romantic words. So unique, so sweet, and so arousing.
My lips gripped his bottom lip and I licked it like it was the most delicious candy I’d ever tasted.
Joshua growled against my mouth. He held my back tightly to his chest. We were like inseparable conjoined twins.
“There’s no information about you that I can sell to the FBI.”
“I know.”
“I’m sure I didn’t reveal my mission to you. How did you know I was going to investigate Fabio and the cartels he’s connected to?”
“In case you forgot, I’m more of a stalker than a cute guy. I have accurate informants.”
“You smuggled someone into the FBI?” I widened my eyes in surprise.
“No. He did work for the FBI. But we were in a kind of mutualistic symbiosis. You’d be naive to believe the FBI was that clean. They’re basically like me, eliminating people who aren’t profitable to them and only keeping those who are.”
“So you shut down your operation before I infiltrated Fabio’s cartel?”
Joshua shook his head slowly.
“No. I shut it down four years ago. I guess prison isn’t that bad.”
I was completely confused. Had the FBI been playing tricks on me all this time? Was my former boss playing tricks on me? He gave me the project to allay suspicions among the higher-ups. I accepted the mission because I wanted to live a quiet life with Melissa after I resigned from the FBI.
“I had a few months to reflect and think about the future of my business. The business Fabio was involved in was too risky in my opinion. It wasn’t worth the money I was making. I decided to shut down my operation and move on to other, more profitable ventures.”
“So it's about money?”
“I’m in business for money.”
“So what kind of business is it that you’re willing to close one of your most profitable businesses?”
“I can’t tell you. It’s better you don’t know, just in case you get mad at me one day. You might go back to the FBI and tell them everything.”
“Fuck you,” I hit his chest lightly.
"Are you really going to keep it from me forever? That's not fair. I already told you everything. Even after everything you did to me, I still told you everything because I didn't want there to be any lies between us."
Joshua burst out laughing and grabbed my wrist as I was about to hit him again.
“Mellisa.”
“What?”
“This is for Melissa. If I fall someday, I don’t want you to fall with me. You have to stand tall for Melissa. And maybe for our other children.”
I blinked twice at him.
Was he serious?
I mean, he thought about it in such detail when I hadn’t even thought that far.
“Say something.”
“I’m speechless. But I’m not surprised, because you always go on suicide missions to protect me. It’s just like you did four years ago.”
“They’ll throw you in jail if they find out you weren’t really their spy all along.”
“You sacrificed yourself for me, is that what you mean?”
He nodded.
“I always denied that I loved you. But the only thing I could think about was keeping you out of harm’s way. I never thought you’d get pregnant. If I’d known, I never would have let you go through that alone. I would have been by your side.”
My eyes began to well up with tears. His face blurred in my vision. I blinked once, and a tear rolled freely down my cheek.
“Don’t cry.”
My tears streamed down my cheeks even more as he told me not to cry. He made me feel bad. I always believed what I thought. I didn’t try to think his way. Or rather, I didn’t want to.
“I’ve misunderstood you all this time.”
“I’m the one who made you misunderstand me. Maybe you’re right, I shouldn’t handle everything alone. I should share with you. I’ll learn to share from now on.”
“Yes. I don’t want you to sacrifice yourself again for me or for Melissa. We’re family. We’ll protect each other.”
“You know I never had a family until you came into my life. The concept of family was foreign to me at first. You gave me the family I never had.”
Joshua sighed softly. He kissed the top of my head and inhaled deeply his favorite lavender scent. I loved it when he did that.
“I almost never eat at the dining table without a fight. With my grandfather, we’d have heated arguments at the table. With Brian and his family, we’d be pointing guns at each other. There’s never a dinner like the one we had a few hours ago. There’s never been any old jokes and laughter at the dining table. Isn’t that so sad?”
“Money can’t buy happiness.”
“That’s true. But at least it can buy power. That’s what I’ve got so far. Even though I’m unhappy, I have power. People fear me and follow my every command. Isn’t that so bad?”
“It’s not bad, but it’s pathetic. You’ve had a pretty rough life.”
“I’m not complaining.”
“Look what happened to you. You’re a pathetic forty-two-year-old.”
“Say that again and you’ll regret it, woman.”
“You’re a pathetic forty-two-year-old man.”
“You’ll really regret it.”
I screamed as Joshua suddenly flipped us over and pinned me to the bed. He knelt over me powerfully. His pecs heaved in rhythm with his ragged breaths. The engraving on his chest was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. I couldn’t wait to see Melissa’s and my names tattooed there. I might even get Joshua’s name tattooed over my heart with a small heart above it. That would keep Joshua close to me. He’d always be in my heart.
“Enough talk. I won’t be gentle with you at all.”
“I never expected it either.”
I sent my hands to his biceps, around his back, pulling him closer to me.
“I love the heat of your skin against mine,” I admitted.
Joshua growled hungrily. He patiently unhooked my tiny bra. His fingers were too big for such a tiny thing. When she managed to remove it without ripping it, she waved the tiny bra in the air like a victory flag.
“Take off the rest. I’ve used up all my patience with this tiny damn thing.”
“You’re so impatient, Mr. J.”
Laughing, I slowly peeled off my pajama pants, followed by my underwear. Joshua watched me intently. He was clearly enjoying the show.
“Done. Want to touch me, gentleman?”
“No.”
He spread my thighs wide and placed them on his strong shoulders.
“I’m not just going to touch you. I’m going to eat you whole.”
“Shit. Those are the romantic words of the century. I’m going to keep them in my mind.”
“I bet you keep everything I did to you in your mind,” he grinned before making me scream in satisfaction all night long.