Chapter 37: Shadows of His Absence
IZZY’S POV
I was sitting in the living room when Janet walked in with a tray of coffee.
She set it on the table and sighed.
“You’ve barely moved since yesterday,” she said.
I rubbed my eyes. “There’s nothing to move for. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep. No news, no calls, nothing.
I feel frustrated and out of place right now.”
Janet sat beside me. “You have to keep yourself together. Your father would want that. You don’t have to overstress, he’ll be fine.”
I snapped my head toward her. “Don’t tell me what my father would want.
You don’t know him like I do and I don’t even know if he’s breathing right now.
Do you?”
She didn’t answer. She just pushed the cup toward me. “Drink your coffee. At least you’ll be relieved a bit.”
I pushed it back. “I said I don’t want it. Get it out of my sight before I pour it.”
Durk came in then, his face tight like he’d been fighting outside. “Still nothing,” he said, dropping heavily into a chair.
“Don’t you have people you can call? I’m beginning to lose my patience.” I asked sharply.
“I did. Everyone says the same thing, he’s in critical care. They won’t let anyone close.
Security is tight and for some reason I believe that’s the best way to run a situation like this.”
“So we’re just supposed to sit here and look?” I asked.
Durk looked at me. “Yes, for now.”
“That’s bullshit,” I muttered, standing up. I started pacing the floor. My chest felt too small.
Matteo walked in behind him, holding his phone. “Stop pacing. You’re making everyone nervous, take it easy.”
I turned to him. “Don’t talk to me like that. Do you even care what’s happening to him? Do not tell me to take it easy because you don’t understand how I feel.”
Matteo’s mouth tightened. “Don’t start with me, Izzy. You know damn well I care.”
“Then why are you so calm?” I shouted. “Why aren’t you smashing down those hospital doors and demanding answers?”
He stared at me, his jaw clenching. “Because that’s not how it works. Do you want to get us all killed? They’re waiting for us to make a wrong move. We have to be smart.
Smashing doors and pressuring doctors will not get us anywhere, so take it easy.”
Janet stood quickly. “Both of you, stop. Fighting won’t change anything. Enough of this.
This is definitely not the right time to be having this kind of argument.”
I wanted to scream at her too, but I bit my lip so hard I tasted blood.
Silence sat heavy in the room. The clock ticked too loud.
My father’s chair was empty, and it felt like a black hole sucking everything in.
After a while, Matteo spoke again. “You need rest, Izzy. You look like hell.”
“I’ll rest when he walks through that door,” I said flatly.
Durk leaned forward. “People are talking already. Some say he’s gone.”
I spun on him. “Don’t you dare say that.”
“I’m telling you what I hear,” Durk said, his voice rough.
“You need to know what’s being said out there. Power doesn’t wait. If he doesn’t come back, things will move fast. You know the drill.”
I gripped the back of the chair, knuckles white. “No. He’s not dead. He can’t be.”
No one argued and no one comforted me either.
The next morning felt the same.
I walked into the kitchen where Matteo and Durk were eating silently. The sight of them chewing made me want to throw the plates against the wall.
“Anything?” I asked.
“No,” Matteo said without looking up.
I slammed the counter.
“This is insane! Three days and nothing? Who the hell is keeping him from me?”
Durk put his fork down. “Izzy, calm down. We have to be patient with these doctors and hope for a response.”
“Don’t tell me to calm down. You’re both useless.”
Durk stood suddenly, his chair scraping back.
“Watch your mouth. I wouldn’t condone your attitude of insulting me when all I’m trying to do is to allow you to see things from my perspective in a polite manner.”
“Or what? You would beat me? You won’t dare.” I snapped.
He looked at me, his face hard. Then he sat back down without a word.
I stormed out of the kitchen,
slamming the door.
Later that day, Janet found me in my father’s office, staring at his desk.
“You can’t keep doing this,” she said softly.
“Doing what?”
“Breaking yourself and pushing everyone away. It’s not fair and it’s not right. Everyone is trying to help you, stop making them feel like they aren’t doing enough.
” She said,
I shook my head. “I don’t know how to do anything else. Besides, their best isn’t enough.”
She came closer. “You need to decide. If he doesn’t come back, you’ll have to step up. People are watching you already.”
“I don’t want it,” I whispered. “I just want him back and I miss him.”
Janet touched my arm. “Wanting doesn’t change reality.”
I pulled away from her touch. “Don’t talk like he’s gone. He’s not gone.”
Her eyes filled with pity and I hated it. I hated everything about it.
That night Matteo came to my room. He leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed.
“You can’t keep attacking everyone around you,” he said.
“Then give me answers,” I shot back.
“I don’t have them.” Matteo said.
“Then get out.” I shouted.
He didn’t move. “You think I don’t feel this too? He’s my family as much as yours. But you’re acting like a child.”
I stood, fists clenched. “Say that again.”
“Izzy..”
“Say it again, Matteo!”
He stepped forward, lowering his voice. “You’re not the only one hurting.
But if you keep acting like this, you’ll lose e
verything before you even know what it means to have it.”
I blinked at him. His words hit me in a way I didn’t want to admit.
“Leave,” I said finally, my voice breaking.
He left without another word.