Chapter 147: 42| Agony-1

┏━━━✦❘༻༺❘✦━━━┓ Agony ┗━━━✦❘༻༺❘✦━━━┛ I felt numb. All the noise around me seemed to have dulled to a sharp ringing in my ears. The pool of dread slowly growing in my stomach seemed to have exploded. I stopped breathing. I thought my heart stopped altogether. "No, no, no," I mumbled quietly under my breath, still trying to steady Dante. I lost all focus when I felt his blood on my hands, and I wasn't aware of my own surroundings anymore. I couldn't recollect myself, nor could I remember where everybody was or what I should have been doing. All I could think about was the possibility of losing Dante; I felt pure panic. My knees gave out along with Dante's, and when he lost his balance, I couldn't even hold him up. There was a huge lump in my throat, making it hard to talk, a huge weight sitting over my chest, making it hard to breathe. "Anastasia, go," he said softly, still clutching his abdomen tightly, the blood continuously seeping through. My knees hit the floor as Dante started to collapse, and I barely managed to catch him just enough to soften his landing. "Y-you keep bleeding. It won't stop," I stuttered, clutching his abdomen. "I have to call someone," I said, frantically searching for anyone to help. Easing his head into my lap, I wiped my cheek with the back of my hand as I felt a hot tear trickle down. "Let me call someone," I repeated, glancing over toward the entrance. His grip on my wrist was firm yet somehow tender enough to feel like a silent plea. He winced as he shifted slightly and met my gaze. "You need to go," he groaned, his eyes tearing up slightly. Whether it was from the pain or something else, I wasn't sure. "Please don't say that," I cried, the tears falling freely by then. For a moment, when he fell into my arms, when his blood began seeping through my dress, when he stumbled and lost all his strength, I felt like I was six years old again. I felt like I was watching someone I loved, someone I cared about more than anything in this world, slowly losing their life right in front of my eyes, and even though it was because of me, there was nothing I could do. It was like my entire body went stiff and froze. But unlike then, I wasn't tied down by my ankles, but by the time my instincts kicked in, he was already on the floor, losing an incomprehensible amount of blood. His words were stronger, his tone harsher this time when he said, "Anastasia, get up and go. You need to run." "But you're-" "Get away from me," he said through heavy gasps and coughs. "I can't leave you like this," I cried harder, struggling to keep his bullet wound compressed with all the bleeding. "I need you to run," he replied, his voice strained. "Promise me," he rasped, "promise me you won't come back for me." I couldn't even fucking move, my entire body locked itself up. "Dante…" I whispered. The sudden sirens blaring behind me were enough to startle me physically. When I looked up, and straight ahead, Ethan was still there, rooted to his spot, staring at the gun in his hands. It was like he couldn't comprehend his actions or believe how far that voice in his head drove him. "Please, Anastasia," Dante choked out. His breaths had slowed and morphed into short gasps like he couldn't get enough air in his lungs. "I need you to go," he said as his eyes grew heavier, making it even harder for him to stay conscious. "No, no, no," I said frantically, taking his cheek in my hand. "I need you to stay with me, Dante. Please, please!" "Freeze!" I heard officers yell as they raced past me, crowding Ethan. "Put your gun on the ground! Hands in the air, Mr Morales! Keep them where I can see them!" another officer commanded. It was then that I finally spotted a swarm of people rushing past the gates. When I looked down at Dante, he'd already gone limp. His eyes were closed, and he was barely breathing. At that moment, it was like a dam broke within me. What I feared the most was unfolding right before my eyes, and my body wouldn't move; my feet couldn't even carry me far enough to get him some help. With tears still streaming down my face, all I did was hold onto him with everything in me. A guttural scream crawled up my throat, and I yelled at the top of my lungs. Until my throat burned raw, until my eyes welled up with fresh tears. Until I was shaking with rage and fear and the storm brewing inside me. I let out everything in that scream until nothing was left within me anymore. All I kept thinking was that I'd lost him. Ethan shot him, and it was because of me. It was all my fault. Again. If I'd just stayed inside with Dante instead of chasing after Ethan if I'd just turned around and run back to him when I could have if I'd just taken one step forward… Just one… then I would have taken that bullet like Ethan intended, and he wouldn't be in a world of pain, fighting for his life, fighting a battle he didn't deserve to fight. It's all my fault. It's all my fault. Agony. Pure agony filled me. It was an emotion so raw, so strong that it overwhelmed me. I was drowning in it. Guilt, fear, and anxiety were all clawing at my chest. Have I lost him? I would never be able to forgive myself, never be able to continue living this life. A life without Dante wasn't a life I was willing to live; a world without Dante in it wasn't a world I wanted to be a part of. I didn't think I could bear it if he… if he didn't make it. Knowing it was my fault was going to wreck me. Knowing I could have saved him but failed would kill me. A second gunshot cut through the air, setting off a series of screams. When I looked up this time, I saw Ethan falling limp, the gun slipping from his fingertips. When his head hit the ground, a pool of blood began to form beneath him, and a clean bullet wound was right between his eyes. "Anastasia, come on, get up!" Amara grabbed my arms, forcing me to my feet while Tristan and Kai lifted Dante's limp body and brought his arms around their shoulders. "It's going to be okay, Ana," Rose said, appearing at my side. "We're going to take Dante to the hospital, and he's going to be okay, I promise!" Pushing me along, they kept me moving. I glanced over my shoulder in confusion and panic. "Did they-" "They killed him," Amara said, opening a car door and guiding me inside. "The cops did it. He was going to shoot at you again," she explained. Rose started the car and sped straight ahead, following the leading car. "It's my fault," I whispered, holding my head in my hands as my elbows dropped to my knees. "He shot him because of me. I-it wasn't meant to get Dante. He wasn't shooting at him. He wasn't trying to kill him. He was trying to kill me. It should be me. I should have taken that bullet!" I sobbed out between pants and gasps. It was getting harder to breathe without Dante by my side, even harder every time the image of him bleeding out in my arms, limp and immobile, flashed behind my eyes.