Avrora
"Sometimes we need a good cry." She strokes my hair.
"Thank you for defending me. I don't think I could have done it even if I didn't feel so wretched."
"That's okay. That was a long time coming. Gytha deserved it."
"Some of what she said was true, though."
"No, there was no truth to her words."
I dab away the last of my tears with the heel of my hand and nod. "Yes, Ehlga. I'm sure you know what happened between Anatoli and me."
She sighs. "That doesn't mean Gytha was right."
"I understand how he feels about how I reacted that night, but there's nothing I can do about my father or Mikhail." My voice comes out in a choked rasp.
"Has he told you anything more about the past?"
"Not much. He told me his mother was killed and that he lived here with her when he was younger, then Denmark, then Russia. That's essentially all I know about Anatoli's past."
She searches my eyes. "Then I think maybe the right time has come for me to tell you."
My spirit lifts at this possibility. "Will you really?"
"Yes. There are things he wanted to keep secret from you, but since he's promised me he would tell you when the time was right, I think I should do it now. The time feels right now because I trust you. I trust what I see in you with regards to how you feel about him and I think you should know. I don't think you would do anything to put him in danger."
"No, I would never." I say that like a vow. "Ehlga please tell me what happened to him."
She drags in a breath. "He's had a hard life and experienced terrible things no one should have to go through."
"What are those terrible things?" What makes a man become as ruthless as him? He's still so young yet acts like an older man who's lived through a hundred wars.
"Things that left him with scars that run deeper than the surface."
At the mention of scars, I instantly think of Anatoli's burn scar.
"He has a scar on his back. Was he caught in a fire?"
"In a manner of speaking, yes. It was worse when he first came into my care."
Confused, I narrow my eyes. "Your care?"
"I became his mother when he lost his. He was twelve."
Twelve?
My eyes widen.
"I didn't know that. I assumed he was much older when he lost his mother."
"No. He was twelve years old. Leif put Anatoli in my care."
"Leif?" That's even stranger. "Why didn't he take Anatoli in?" That's the obvious question for anyone to ask. Especially if they know of Leif's kind-hearted nature. A better question to ask would be about Anatoli's father and Mira.
"Leif and his wife wanted to, but it wasn't possible."
"Why not?"
"At the time, it was important to keep Anatoli a secret to make sure he was safe. So Leif put him in my care because he trusted me. He and my family go way back."
"Safe from whom, Ehlga?"
"His father."
The answer squeezes my insides, and my shoulders go rigid. "Evgeni? I... I don't understand."
"Evgeni didn't know about Anatoli's existence until he was twelve." Her skin pales, and she pauses for a moment before continuing. "When Anatoli's mother told him, he ordered their deaths."
"What? Oh my God." My high-pitched voice bounces around the room, and my brain refuses to process this horrific news.
No way are we talking about the same man who was so nice to me and welcoming, calling me his daughter every time I saw him. "I can't believe what you're saying to me."
"It's true. Leif managed to save Anatoli. That's why he's alive today. The order was given because Anatoli's existence threatened everything Evgeni stood to gain from his marriage to Mira. That was based on Mikhail being his heir."
"I'm so shocked." So much about Anatoli makes sense now. And his hatred toward Mikhail. "Did Mira know any of this, or anybody else?"
"No, they all found out when Anatoli stopped your wedding to Mikhail."
That would have been while I was being brought here. "Why was I left out?"
"Because of Anatoli's vendetta toward your father."
Dread twists my insides and I feel sick. Something hits me in my gut that feels like truth. The last time I felt it was when I found my mother in the bathtub and knew she was dead.
As Ehlga looks at me I feel even more certain that I know what that vendetta is. It's like it's staring me in the face, and I can't breathe.
My father is an enforcer who worked for Evgeni for years. They were so close I'm sure there was no question of a union by marriage to join our families. Evgeni ordered Anatoli and his mother's death, so he would have sent men to do the job.
Men like my father. The senior guard.
"Ehlga, my... father... he killed Anatoli's mother, didn't he?"
"Yes."
Shock jolts through me at the confirmation, and I feel like I'm going to fall over and keep falling through the earth.
My skin goes hot, then cold, then hot again, then ice takes over, sending a chill through me that's so callous I don't know how it doesn't freeze my heart.
"No... it can't be. Please, no." My head moves on its own, shaking as more tears come.
"Yes. Your father was the man Evgeni sent to kill Anatoli and his mother. He killed Anatoli's mother, then took Anatoli and tortured him for weeks. In the end, he locked him in a barn and set it on fire."
By the time she's finished talking, I'm crying and shaking so much I see stars.
Ehlga gets up and approaches me, then she pulls me into her arms and holds me.
Gytha was right. Oh my God, she was right.
"Don't cry, Avrora."
"I can't stop. My father is evil, Ehlga. He's evil." When I think of all he's done, I'm so ashamed. Yet part of me feels like I always knew something truly horrific had happened. Just like my nightmares. I know Dad is lying about that, too. So only God knows what the hell happened to me, or what I saw and can't remember.
All the pieces of the puzzle of how I ended up here have fallen into place, and the picture it's created is damnation.
"Anatoli must hate me, too."
"No. He doesn't hate you. Listen to me." She cups my face. "I told you all of this because I can see you both love each other."
"You think he loves me?"
"I do, but I think you already know that for yourself."
When I think of all the things Anatoli has done to show me he loves me, I know it's not a question I should even ask.
Look what he did with the oil company. He gave away his ownership to me so it would all belong to me. He told me he chose me over the money. The fact that he even told me about the oil company is everything. I've been kept in the dark for so long, but he pulled me out into the light.
"I do know," I mutter.
Ehlga smiles. "Then if you do love him too, fight for what you have. Don't give it up. It will be something you'll both regret."
"How can I even face him?"
"You do it with an open heart and remember you are not your father. You are Avrora. That's all you need to be. That's who he fell in love with." She nods and gives me a little smile. "You should go see him later. Okay?"
I think about it, pushing past the guilt ravaging my mind, and I nod.