Chapter 7: The Traitor

I didn't finally fall asleep until five in the morning.

Exhaustion won. My body gave out while my brain was still screaming. At first, it wasn't Raze who haunted my sleep; it was my mother's kitchen, her house with its cinnamon scent and old wooden furniture. My mother stood at the stove and when she turned with a smile, her eyes blackened.

"You can't protect anyone, Arya," she said in a voice that wasn't hers but Raze's. "You couldn't save me. You couldn't save your coven. And you won't save Zoe."

Flames started to surround the kitchen. The flames were cold and blue instead of hot. My feet were nailed to the floorboards, I tried to run, but my feet didn't move. From the flames Raze emerged; his face wasn't visible just shadow with two red holes where eyes should be.

"I'm going to enjoy breaking you," he said.

I woke up with a panting.

My shirt was soaked with sweat; my hands were trembling and my ears were ringing. I bolted upright and I almost fell off of my bed; I sat on it. Zoe was sitting at her desk eating cereal from her plastic bowl. She turned to me with her brown eyes normal.

"You were screaming in your sleep," she said, her voice was human again, without a growl. No edge at all. "Bad dream?"

I didn't believe anything that came from her lips, it still wasn't human.

"Something like that," I said.

I got up and walked out of the room to the bathroom without looking back. I locked the door and stood with my head resting on the edge of the sink, splashing cold water onto my face. My face in the mirror was a mess, with circles under my eyes, my skin pale and lips dry and chapped from me biting them so fiercely, and it stayed that way until my heartbeat had slowed to a reasonable level.

The cafeteria was loud and bright, two of the things that annoyed me most.

I prodded my toast around the plate, not taking a bite. The smell of the eggs was nauseating. I hadn't eaten much in days, but swallowing any of this food seemed impossible.

RA Jenna slid into the seat opposite mine.

"You look like crap," she informed me. "No offense."

"None taken."

She nabbed a piece of my toast and bit into it. Jenna was the sort of person who always walked as if the entire world was hers. Completely comfortable in her skin, something I couldn't be comfortable

"It's Zoe isn't it?" she said in a quieter voice. " I've seen her being strange. The other night, I heard her talking to herself, really deep, she's normally quite squeaky. It wasn't like her."

My chest felt tight. " She's stressed. Exams."

Jenna chewed, and gave me a knowing look. Her eyes were almost too piercing for someone who was meant to just be an RA.

"If you need anything, you can come to me. It's literally what I'm here for," she said and walked away before I could reply. I watched her go and wondered if she really suspected more than she was letting on. Or maybe it was all in my head, maybe everyone looked suspicious when you had a demon hidden in your bedroom.

I took myself for a walk in the direction of the library after breakfast, trying to get my thoughts in order.

Dorian fell into step with me like he'd been waiting. He'd got his sunglasses on, but his skin still seemed to look wrong in the sunlight. Unsettling and beautiful in a way I didn't want to acknowledge.

"You look awful," he told me.

"That's what everyone is saying."

"Because it is," he agreed, his pace unflagging. "Vance said midnight confirmed, library back entrance. I'll be there."

We passed by a group of students who were whispering and staring. It was hardly discreet having a tall, pale guy follow me around campus.

"What then?" I asked, after a while. "After we get the grimoire?"

"You learn the spell. And then you have to decide if you're willing to lose your magic in order to save Zoe."

I stopped walking. "You make it sound simple."

"It isn't," he stated. He also stopped and turned to face me. "But you don't have any other choice."

Definitely, people were whispering now, and a few pairs of eyes were burning into my back.

"I have to go," Dorian said. He surveyed his surroundings, then walked off in the direction of the science building until he vanished behind it.

I hesitated, then turned back towards the hostel.

Zoe was sitting on her bed when I returned to the room. She was crying.

Actual tears. Red nose. Wet face. Her eyes were brown, and her hands were balled up and wadded into the blanket in front of her. It looked like she was holding on for dear life.

"Arya," she whispered. "He's letting me speak. I don't know for how long."

I sat down on the edge of the bed-a respectable distance away. "Zoe, what happened? Why did you make a deal with him?"

She wiped her nose with the back of her hand, a childish gesture. "My family. They hurt me. For a very long time. I wanted them to suffer. Raze said he'd get them back for what they did to me. He swore they'd feel everything I felt."

"And he lied."

She nodded. Her whole body shook with the sobs. "He never gave me revenge. He just... Took over. Weeks of feeling like I'm inside of myself, but he's the one controlling everything I see and hear. I can't stop him."

She reached for me. Her fingers were cold and clammy when they touched my hand.

"Please," she said, her voice breaking. "I don't care what happens to me. Just stop him. Before he opens the portal."

I wanted to assure her that everything would be alright. I wanted to tell her I would save her. But my throat was thick and the words refused to form.

Her eyes flashed red for a fraction of a second. Her body went rigid, and she tightened her grip around my hand until it began to hurt. Then she blinked again, and Raze was in control of the body. Smiling.

"Enough of that," he said. "Sentimentality makes my stomach turn."

I yanked my hand from hers.

"I'm going to stop you," I said, my voice more firm than I expected.

Raze laughed, the sound damp as if something were caught in Zoe's throat. "You can try, little witch. But tonight when you make your way to that library, you remember that it isn't just the guardian spirit you should be scared of."

He reached and ran his face into mine. I could smell Zoe's shampoo mixed with something foul.

"I've been in this university for weeks," he said. "I know all of its secrets, all of its hidden doorways, and every person who is not who they claim to be."

"What are you talking about?"

Raze's lips stretched into an agonizing smile. "There is a traitor among your little band of friends, Arya. Someone is going to turn on you tonight. And then I'll be there to clean up whatever is left."

He laughed once more then he climbed in Zoe's bed and pulled the covers up over her head.

"Sleep well. Oh no wait." His voice came muffled but clear, "You won't be doing any sleeping."

I turned and went to my own bed, then stared at the wall in front of me.

A traitor. Vance. Dorian. Jenna. Maybe even someone that hadn't appeared yet.

My hands turned ice cold. My stomach turned into an empty hollow space. And my clock read 6pm. Six hours until midnight.

Six hours until I would have to walk into a library with two supernatural beings I could never fully trust while a demon looked on through my roommates eyes and the traitors of my circle waited behind me with a knife aimed at my back.

I was not sure who I could believe anymore.

But of this much I was sure.

If I didn't get that grimoire tonight, I was as good as dead.